One staple in my toy collection has always been some kind of small, strong, non-bullet vibrator. If it was relatively quiet, or low-maintenance, or waterproof, great! They were usually inexpensive, so when they died I moved on. When my last incarnation of this stereotype died, it looked like the Jolie would fit the bill.

The Jolie is a small vibrator with a retro feel; its lines resemble those of a stylized finger. It has a very simple no frills design, with an appearance that borders on conservative. It doesn’t scream “sex toy”, and I was able to easily pass it off as an honest pocket-sized massager.

The design of the Jolie was a mixed bag. It does put slightly less strain on the wrist than the usual straight design. The flat tip does a good job at focusing the vibrations. The battery compartment was designed better than usual. But other than that, the design fails to impress.

The battery compartment and the on/off are the same dial at the base of the toy, which clicks from one position to the next. The order of the positions (Open/Close/Off/On) was well thought out. When turning off the Jolie, accidentally turning the base an extra click doesn’t open the toy; a definite advantage in the shower.

When dry it is simple to open and close, and the shallow grooves improve the grip without biting into the fingers. Unfortunately, once any lube gets on the Jolie, it becomes impossible to turn the bottom to turn it on and off. I don’t want to have to go looking for something to wipe it off with just so I can turn it off.

I had a few quibbles with the Jolie from day one. The seam at the bend isn’t quite lined up, and while it doesn’t irritate during use, it makes it harder to clean. There is only one speed, and even simply adding a second would have improved the Jolie.

Also, while the vibrations were centered at the tip of the Jolie, they carried throughout the toy and began to numb my fingers. It was splash-proof, but a tiny amount of water often snuck in when the Jolie was completely submerged. In a toy marketed as waterproof, this is a definite letdown.

Regardless, the Jolie soon became a new favorite, and my go-to for quickies. For a toy with only one AA battery, it was strong and the vibrations were deep. The battery life was good: I replaced them about every other week when I was using it every day.

It fit comfortably in my hand for expended periods of time without cramping, and could be tossed in my pocket or purse. It was relatively quiet. From across the room with the toy under the covers, only a faint hum was audible. When in use, it was all but inaudible from across the room. It was very low maintenance, as it could be cleaned with soap and water, or swabbed with rubbing alcohol, and was compatible with any lubricant.

After only a month of use, however, I changed my mind about the Jolie.

The first indication that something was amiss, was when the tip began to heat up faster than usual. Then, there was a faint, strange acidic smell every time I removed the batteries (which hadn’t leaked). Neither of these worried me overly much at first, as they hadn’t affected the toy functionally. It was still a nice little vibrator.

What drew the Jolie from my good graces, was the sudden change in sound and power. One day, I used it and found it a little weaker than usual regardless of the battery, but otherwise fine. The next day, I was greeted by a loud rattling noise when I turned it on. The vibrations had also changed, dropping in power and loosing their depth to become more than a bit buzzy. Opening the cap after use was greeted with a strong, unpleasant mix of the smells of acid and something I couldn't identify. Listening to the Jolie now, I’m seriously afraid that it is shaking itself apart inside, and I’m afraid to use it.

Shrapnel in the clit is NOT sexy.

While at first I loved the Jolie, it had some less than ideal features and faults. It is not a toy I would go out of my way to buy, knowing what I do now; and I won’t be buying another now that mine is about to bite the dust. Still, in its working period it was a nice vibrator. I might recommend it to a friend as a first toy, especially if they won't be using it as heavily as I did and noise isn’t an issue. I’d tell them to upgrade when it dies.

Pictures can be found here.

During that first month, I loved the Jolie. I was using her every day: in the shower, in front of my computer, while I studied, even in bed while my roommate was sleeping. I probably put more wear on it in one month, than most girls will in three, or for some six. Heck, I wore most of the silver paint off of the position bar on the base. So while in retrospect, I’m not too surprised it died as quickly as it did, I am disappointed.

While it lasted, we had a lot of fun with my Jolie. She was quiet enough that, with the fan on, I could use her late at night without my feather-light sleeper of a roommate waking. With that odd shape, she was small enough to use in almost any position with my partner; without feeling intrusive. And while she was difficult to turn on and off while lubed, I was still able to hold onto her when things got slippery.

But loud noises from a quiet vibrator, and a creepy acid smell coming from the battery compartment, do not a happy masturbator make.