I was very excited to see the Wonderland range of products hit the market. At first glance, they seem like the perfect little vibes - they're funky, colorful, stylish, and they seem to have a style for every need and taste. Even the packaging was just so classy... boxes that look like books! "Sweet," I thought, "I could really use a new clitoral vibrator and these are so freaking cute, one of them has to be the perfect match for me!" So, happily I purchased one - the Mystical Mushroom - and brought it home, bubbling over how every small detail was just so fantastic. I could not wait to try it out! And try it out immediately is what I did.

Unfortunately, I was left very disappointed and frustrated by my first attempt with this vibrator... and also with my second, third, and fourth attempts. After those, I just plain gave up.

Let me quickly specify that I am extremely picky and I have some very specific needs when it comes to clitoral vibrators... I need a functional, usable, strong vibrator that hits the spot. This toy, for me at least, was and did none of those things.

To start things off, this vibe was difficult for me to hold since I tend to be very wet, from either natural or synthetic lubricant, and my fingers were not able to find good purchase on the shaft. I found the gold ring to be distracting to the touch, and I'm not fond of the push-button control on the end (I think they would have gone a long way towards making me happier as a customer if the controls had been a dial, instead). I kept needing to stop my play to mess around with the controls... not conductive to orgasm. It was difficult for me to aim, too, because the head of the vibe looks more functional than it is. On my anatomy, there's a lot of wasted surface between the outer nub and the wide ring of the mushroom's flared head... the inner curve is just too extreme for me to make any contact with any of my happy-girly-parts. I can either touch my clit with the nub, or the ring, but never more than that at the same time. Very, very disappointing.

On top of that, I do not find this to be a 3-vroom toy at all. Not even close. Maybe 2 vrooms if you're in the middle of an earthquake. Maybe.

I even tried insertion (nope, it just felt weird) and using this toy with a partner to see if maybe he might like it (not really, it did an okay job of teasing him but it just couldn't compare to other toys in our arsenal).

The only praise I can really give this toy is for its modes. The modes are pretty nice and varied, but even so, they're not really ordered in any intuitive way so I found myself cycling through them over and over trying to find a specific one. More frustration.

The Mushroom is travel-friendly and easy to hide, yes, and it is still really freaking cute. And it does clean up pretty well. But other than those things? Complete waste of time and money for me. Cute and sassy only counts if the toy gets me off, too, and it just couldn't. Not even once.