Calling to all who love women! Listening? Good! Now... if you are looking for a modern, sexy, sleek, strong, quiet, waterproof, rechargeable clitoral vibe, look no further! Stun your darling with your extreme thoughtfulness by presenting her with the one and only Bliss Massager!

"That's so Biased, Mwar!" Yeah, I know, it's not exactly impartial. But since the only negative thing I can think about for this toy is the initial odor, you must understand! I dare say the Bliss Massager rivals MiMi! (*ducks torches and pitchforks* Oh yes, I went there!) It's also a bit more affordable than MiMi as well. The Bliss Massager is a great clitoral vibe offering multiple patterns and vibrations. Designed as an external toy, the Bliss can stimulate the nipples, breasts, labia, and P-spot (from the perineum).

This little guy is great for any woman who loves clitoral orgasms. He's discreet, so the Bliss is a great option for those who are living with others or don't have the privacy they wish they had. Even if you share a room, the Bliss can be whisked away for bath and shower enjoyment. The bliss is an option for beginners and experts alike. For beginners it is versatile, easy to use, and non-intimidating. For more advanced users it is versatile, strong, and rechargeable.

The Bliss Massager is made with both silicone and plastic. Its surface is over 90 percent plastic. The plastic is non-porous and phthalate free. It's best to avoid phthalates. It is sometimes added to plastics to make them last longer, however, there are studies showing phthalates can increase risk of respiratory issues in children among other issues (Note: phthalates are found mostly in cosmetics).

The plastic on the Bliss is shiny and smooth. The silicone part, also non-porous, has the texture. The silicone end has 5 textured rings. It almost looks like a big thumbprint.



The texture is there to lower the chance of the clitoris slipping away from the toy as well as adding stimulation. It can definitely be felt as you move the toy during use. The texture is not extreme and should not scare away beginners. This is a great toy for just about everyone.

There is also silicone that wraps around the sides of the Bliss. The back of the toy has a resealable port made with silicone (more on that in the functions section).

If you have a strong sense of smell, sensitive to odors, or pregnant, don't open your Bliss Massager when it arrives. Have someone else do it while you look on. Why, you may ask? While a great toy all around, the Bliss Massager smells strongly of new car when it's opened. I think it is more the packaging that does this than the toy itself. The packaging really has that new car smell. If you ditch the packaging (it's nothing special) and wash the Bliss a couple of times, the smell dissipates. After 2 washes, I can barely smell it (I have to put my nose to it). Again, it does go away, but your nose will get assaulted when first opening it. Ultimately, this shouldn't detract you from getting the Bliss.

The shape of the Bliss Massager is adorable. It looks a bit like a computer mouse when looking at the top of it. The shape is ergonomic. It pinches in at the center so it can be held easily with your thumb and middle or forefinger. The silicone there makes it more comfortable to hold.

The slight pinching in the middle gives you two bulges. The top bulge (if the buttons are facing you) has a rounded point. It looks like a very fat arrow. It has the textured rings and the on the pad for stimulation. The bottom half is wider to be comfortable for the palm. If you wanted, you could use the other half of the Bliss for stimulation. The sensations are a little weaker, but not by much. The other half would provide a smooth plastic surface instead of textured silicone.

Designed as an external toy, the Bliss is a good size to hold and use comfortably. Here it is next to MiMi.



The Bliss is 4.5 inches long and has a diameter of 2 inches at its widest point. It is easy to travel with it. It can easily fit in a purse or zipper pocket. I wouldn't pack it in a way that it jostles around with other things. It could turn on by accident. Other than that, you can take the Bliss anywhere with no problem. The Bliss offers the strength and sleekness to appeal to both beginners and advanced toy users.

There are 3 buttons on the Bliss: a +, -, and an "o" in the center. Press the + button to turn on the toy. From here it's interesting. There are multiple settings on the Bliss. You can tell you've changed modes by the color of the lights that run down the middle of the Bliss (it starts bellow the buttons). It's interesting because you have to go forward then back to initially cycle through the modes (you'll see what I mean).

Here are the modes I've discovered on the Bliss

1. Turn On (+): Short purple light - steady low vibration: 2 Vrooms
2. Then Press Circle button: Light pink light that flashes - pulses: 1-2 Vrooms

If you press the circle button you'll just cycle between these two settings. If you press the minus button you'll hit the rest of the settings:

3. Press (-): Magenta light: Pulse, then decelerates. This repeats a couple of times and then it pulses really quickly a few times.
4. Next: Yellow light: Quick, small pulses followed by one strong pulse, repeat.
5. Pink: Accelerating, repeat
6. Red: Pulses, but it's almost like two pulses going together.
7. Orange: Fast, short pulses. It flashes like a rave.

Note: When on the first setting (purple, steady vibes) you adjust the strength for all the other patterns you use. For example: if you put the first setting all the way up by pressing the plus button, press the circle button to go to the next setting. The pink setting will be at its strongest as well. Then you can press the minus buttons to go through the rest of the settings at the high intensity. You can only adjust the intensity at the beginning and then move through the patterns.

Sounds weird, doesn't it? It takes a bit to get the controls, but once you do, you'll discover your favorites. The Bliss does not remember what your last setting is so you'll have to cycle through the patterns every time. To turn off, hold the minus button for a couple of seconds.

The motor of the toy is located closer to the textured pad. It's about 4 Vrooms at its highest intensities and can range between 1 and 4 Vrooms depending on which setting you use. The Bliss has a resealable hole where the charging port is, making it waterproof. When I go in the shower, I make sure the Bliss wasn't just charging (incase the hole needs time to close). Other than that, it functions well in the shower. I would be hesitant about using it in a tub, though. The bliss is about 2 Bees to a low 3 Bees at its loudest. It should not be heard beyond a blanket and closed door.

Care for the Bliss is easy. You can wash with soap and water, toy cleaner, or wet wipes. Debris will collect in the crevices between the texture rings. You can use a nail if you need to fish any debris out. Lint collects on the silicone parts, but it is not extreme. If it bothers you, just wipe the toy with a wet wipe before use.

I would not use silicone lubricants with the Bliss because the textured pad and sides are silicone. There really isn't that much silicone on the toy that you could test spot on either. There is a chance that silicone based lubes could melt the silicone parts of your Bliss. Water based lubricant is your best bet here.

Charging: Plug the port into the back of the toy. This may take a bit of a push since your toy is mostly a virgin. Don't be afraid to break it, it won't. The Bliss will blink red when it is charging. It will stop flashing when it is done charging, and instead give a yellow/green light. It takes about a couple of hours to fully charge. The Bliss seems to hold its charge well.

The packaging smells like it comes out of a car factory. First, the Bliss is in a short rectangular box. When you remove this box you have another box. The top of this box has a lid you pull off. Inside is this:



The Bliss is in this smelly type of styrofoam. You could use this box for long term storage, but it's nothing special and smells. Since it is also paper and cardboard, the box and lid tends to come undone a bit at the ends. The packaging is visually okay. The front of the box has the word "massager" on it. It's not very discreet. On the other hand, it doesn't have naked people on it, so the packaging doesn't scream sex. It is definitely gift worthy. I do wish the Bliss came with a little pouch like many of the We-Vibes do.

There is not booklet of instructions that come with the Bliss. The side of the box tells you all the features the toy has (waterproof, rechargeable, etc.)

For what the Bliss offers, I think he's affordable.

NOTE: If you you have adverse reactions to flashing lights, do not use or get the Bliss massager. The colors and flashes may delight some of us (I love it) but it would not be good for those prone to light induced seizures. Some of the settings on the Bliss flash like a rave. Be safe, get MiMi instead if you want a good clitoral vibe that has all the same good features.

You Kept Mentioning MiMi! What's you final take on the two of them?

I think both the Bliss and MiMi are great toys. Both of them have multiple functions, are waterproof, rechargeable, and body safe. MiMi doesn't have the initial odor and has better packaging. I prefer MiMi's magnetic charger as opposed to the resealable port on the Bliss, however the Bliss does hold it's charge better than MiMi. The Bliss is about 20 bucks cheaper, but MiMi does have the great quality feel. The Bliss is more modern and tech looking. I think MiMi is stronger and has more intuitive controls. The Bliss has the colored lights, and feels nicer in my hand. I don't get itchy numb fingers with the Bliss like I do MiMi.

So where does that put us? Both are great toys. For overall quality, I would go with MiMi. For practical use and ease, I would go with the Bliss. Actually, I would choose the We-Vibe Tango, which has all the same great qualities as these toys (but that comparison will come up after I nab the We-Vibe salsa!)

Personally, I'm rough with things. I was very ginger with my Bliss when trying to figure out how to charge it. I figured the port was in the back, but I wasn't sure how to access it. Only after I read the box that said "resealable port" was I willing to apply any force to put the port in the toy (I used to break a lot of things with brute force as a kid, so I'm super gentle now, too gentle). Anyway, I've charged my bliss a few times already and I still have to put a bit of "umph" in plugging it. Mine still functions well, so I wouldn't be concerned with breaking it this way. I wouldn't expose the Bliss to water immediately after using the port, just to be on the safe side.