My first impression of Dream Kisser was "Wow. What a gorgeous color!". I've always adored blue toys, so I knew I had to have it.

This is what was in the box (minus my beloved Rubik's Cube, of course):


This toy came in about a year ago, and because I've been in and out of the hospital for the past few months, my memory is spotty, and I no longer remember what kind of packaging this specific toy was in. If I'm not mistaken, it was in a simple white, rectangular box. However, I do remember it being shipped in a plain cardboard box, as is EdenFantasys' standard.

Dream Kisser came in pre-charged, so I immediately started messing around with the settings by pressing on the rhinestone.

I remember first impressions quickly turning into first use. I had initially wanted this toy because it was supposed to have 'air pulsations', and as you may know from my reviews of LELO Enigma, Womanizer DUO, LELO Sona 2 Cruise, Satisfyer Pro 2, and many others of that caliber, I absolutely adore the life out air pulse toys. I'm happy to see that the product description has been changed from "air pulse" to "suction", because that's exactly what this toy does.

I usually test my toys first in the shower, but Dream Kisser couldn't wait. I had to try it then and there... it was pre-charged, after all. After slathering myself with Sliquid Sea, my favorite lube, I turned it on, and gingerly inserted it to myself.



Y'all, the suction is strong. A bit too strong for me, and I thought my clit was made of solid diamond after the attention I gave it with the air pulsation toys. I had to keep the clitoral portion away from my clit, so that it would be just barely touching me. The vibrations aren't as powerful as I would want them to be (but I'm spoiled by the Maximus Wand and the Magic Wand Rechargeable, so take that with a grain of salt).

Anyway, the suction and vibration settings can be easily controlled by the buttons above and below the power button (rhinestone), and I'm quite happy that they're separate because I ended up deciding to keep the suction off until later in my play when I was a bit more desensitized. This ended up being a good idea because later on, I wanted more stimulation, and Dream Kisser happily delivered.

I ended up sitting on the strongest constant speed available for the vibration. Although I classify this as rumbly, it just barely teeters on the edge of it becoming buzzy. The shaft's shape is a bit peculiar, and I'm not really sure what to make of the tip-of-the-tip. I can't really feel it when it's fully inserted. At best, I'd say it's good for slow insertion/removal, so your vaginal lips can feel themselves opening/closing to accommodate the varying diameters. The bulbous part of the Dream Kisser rests nicely on my G-Spot, but the shaft is not firm enough for me to massage it -- some people may like this flexibility.

After a good 30 minutes, I wasn't even sure if I was horny anymore. I know I was frustrated that I hadn't cum yet... and then suddenly, I felt the Dream Kisser basically rip an orgasm out of me. I can't even say I liked it because it felt like as if my body was unwilling to cum. I ended up putting the toy away for another day.

Another day came and went. And several more. It was really spotty between hospital visits/extended stays, but I think one thing is clear: Dream Kisser has some kind of learning curve to it. Sometimes I manage to cum, other times, I drain the battery and have to reach for my We-Vibe Tango X, LELO's Sona 2, or Womanizer Premium to finish the job.

You charge this toy through a magnetic charge port. It's a bit flimsy, but when it's charging the rhinestone light blinks, then stays solid when it's done. It takes quite a while for it to charge (like ... a bit over 2 hours?), then stays alive for just over an hour of constant use.




After a year of practice, I still have to say that the suction is very strong. Part of me feels like I'll run my lube bottles dry each time I use this toy, and it's not for the bulbous part, but the clitoral. I wish it were more gentle, really. I often feel somewhat sore after using the Dream Kisser for several days after. This doesn't happen with the air pulse toys.




Additionally, this toy can get a bit loud, especially if the suction bit is turned on. I can most definitely hear it in the next room over, even if the door is closed. I can't hear it outside of the bathroom if the shower's turned on. There is a little hole on the back of the shaft that lets out any air pulled in by the clitoral portion. Covering it will muffle the noise, but not mute it. It also doesn't impact its performance. Dream Kisser works just fine in the shower, it doesn't mind getting wet. I have not submerged it in a bath, though, so I can't say anything on that topic.

One thing is for certain, however, and that's that the orgasms from this toy always come the same way -- they sneak up on me and simply get ripped out of me. Kinda feels like an orgasm without adequate foreplay. I could say it's a love-hate relationship for me. It really borders pleasure and pain. Not completely my cup of tea, unfortunately.

The vibrations are pretty average. Not weak, but not too powerful, either. As mentioned above, Dream Kisser's vibrations teeter on the edge of buzzy, but they do retain enough rumbly characteristics to call them such. The handle bit does make my hand go numb, hence the marker.

** CONTROLS **
Controls are easy. You turn the toy on by long-pressing the rhinestone. That will make it light up like a miniature sun if you're using this toy with the lights off -- it's very, very bright. Above the rhinestone you'll find the sucker's controls, and below said rhinestone, the shaft's controls. Pressing either will shuffle through the 7 suction/vibration modes. Turning the Dream Kisser will not keep the last-used option in memory; you'll have to go and find it again.

** SUCTION PATTERNS **
- low speed pulses (should I be saying 'sucks'?)
- 4 slow pulses, 5 quick pulses
- medium speed pulses
- high speed pulses
- long pulses (read: a long suck)
- 5 quick pulses, 3 slow pulses
- 2 pulses (with lots of time in between), then quick pulses

** VIBRATION PATTERNS **
These are for the shaft:
- steady (low)
- steady (medium)
- steady (high)
- short escalating pulses into a longer one
- quick pulses
- quicker pulses
- 3 short, 1 long pulse

Hooo, boy.
The orgasms with the Dream Kisser come as a surprise every time. You don't expect it, and it gets pulled out of you, whether you want it or not. This toy is not good for edging -- which I'm a fan of. It will rip the orgasm out of you whether you like it or not.

In terms of strength... eh. Meh. They're a bit sub-par, but an orgasm is an orgasm, so I'm not going to complain about getting one when they're so elusive for me to begin with. Regardless of how you like to go about getting your climaxes, make sure to use adequate lube, especially on your clit. The sucker will not only suck out your soul, but it might get pretty close to sucking your clit out of your body too.