I've got a confession to make: I don't like vibes. I'm one of those rare girls who prefers G-spot to clitoral stimulation, so I've always kind of ignored them and gone right to the dildos. But my boy, who is no longer terrified of my sex toys, wanted me to get one while he was out of town for the holidays specifically so he could listen to me masturbate with it over the phone. (Obviously, he's a keeper.)

So I go browsing through the vibes and come across the G-spot selection. In all honesty, the first thing that drew me to the True Love Romantic G was the color—it comes in purple, and I love purple. Currently my entire sex toy collection is purple! The second thing that intrigued me was the nice little hook on the end meant to hit the G-spot. There's gotta be more than one use for that, I thought, and ordered it.

I was delighted to discover when it arrived that it comes in its own black metal tin. I was somewhat less delighted to discover the tin is about as strong as a house of cards in a rainstorm. It's definitely not something meant for long-term storage. It looks pretty and makes the color of the vibe really pop, but in the end is best suited for the trashcan, so think about how you'll be safely storing your toy before buying. Luckily, the material is TPR, which means it is more rigid than silicone and thus less likely to deform, but its added porosity means it's not a good toy to share without a condom (it also can't be sterilized by boiling). It's easy to wash, too—just soap and water and maybe a good toy cleaner, and you're off!

Once I had it all clean I did the most sensible thing and popped it into my mouth. There's no sickly plastic taste or unpleasant smell, and the material feels smooth and solid with just enough give to keep it interesting. It's got three settings which cycle through at the push of a button on the vibe's base. After testing that the batteries were installed properly I did the next most sensible thing and set the vibe on "high," dropped it in the middle of my bed, walked the six steps to my door, and shut it. In the hall in a completely silent apartment it was almost inaudible behind closed doors, so imagine how much more discreet it will be when under covers or inside you.

After that I gave it a little lube (water-based or silicon-based is fine with TPR) and tested it out on myself. The first speed is pleasant, and works well as a warm-up or at the clit. The second speed is the one I like the best because it is powerful without being painful. I personally think the third speed is a little too harsh for direct clitoral stimulation, but feels great in my ass or against my G-spot, and is a good speed if you're grinding the vibe.

I've got another confession to make: I was wrong about not liking vibes. This one, at least, is amazing. I was right about the hook at the end—not only does it hit my G-spot dead on with toe-tingling accuracy, but it can be used to give my clit pinpoint action. The ridged sides also work wonders if you want to pop it in a pillow and play cowgirl. It also feels lovely against, or in, my ass—again, the shape allows for as little or as much penetration as I want, though it won't stay where it's put unaided. I've paired it with my Leo Dildo for a little DP action, and am happy to say they play well together. I'm sure my upstairs neighbors are somewhat less than thrilled at their new friendship, but I've definitely been in an excellent mood since this discovery! The waterproofing is just the icing on the cake. Who doesn't want to spice up a shower now and then?

So why the four-star review? The True Love G is a fickle friend! It will give you exhausting orgasms, and then after you've fallen asleep, completely sated, will turn itself back on and rattle in a most terrifying fashion against the wood of your bed-stand, waking you up and almost sending you through the roof. Remember this when you install and reinstall batteries—if the base isn't threaded just right, it will come to life on its own at the least opportune times, so perhaps this isn't one to put in a carry-on or check in your luggage...

Let's go back to that phone sex bit. If you want to keep your sex life going when your significant other is out of town, get some free time, a toy, and a Bluetooth headset. This frees up both your hands so one can work the toy and the other is free to roam your body as dictated by your lover.

I broke this toy in with a call from the boy and had one of the most amazing orgasms I'd ever experienced just by talking through sex and doing to myself what he said he was doing to me. I had the vibe on high almost the entire time, but he told me later he never heard a peep, so points to it for being quiet enough to be useful without distracting!

My True Love Romantic G and I had a falling out when it started turning itself on at four AM and terrifying me. I'm a light sleeper, so when something wakes me up, that's it for my night. While I can easily imagine cases where it would be lovely to be woken up by a vibe, having it turn my bedside table into an angry timpani full of bees the night before an exam is NOT one.

However, we made up. Make sure you screw the end on just right, or you might have a poltergeist-vibe phase, too. If the threads don't line up perfectly, it will turn itself on. Granted, if you're a responsible vibe user and remove the batteries when you're done, this won't be an issue at all. (Do not as I do, dear readers!)

It remains easy to clean, fully functional, and fun. I've recommended it to friends, and it was a nice, friendly vibe to teach my boyfriend how to use when he decided he want to familiarize himself with sex toys.