You just look at the list of fully hard plastic traditional vibes, and start to wonder: why in the world does this simply built, battery-run, not that powerful, only multi-speed and not overly fancy vroomer is on the very top of the list, costing the most?

Well dear readers, the answer is in the shape!

Imagine when the last time was that you were looking at "almost bottom of the line" plastic vibes, and shouted in your mind: "Holy cows and all the heavenly buffaloes, look at that amazing shape! I wanna try it!!!" Yes, all the sacred cows and those happy buffaloes, blessed with pretty horns to give the idea to create such a design to make you wish to be mounted by a horned up demon of some other world...

This erotic looking darkened item captivates your imagination, and that is enough reason not to resist anymore, and just check out what comes out of a delicious fantasy and some extra vrooms of the ribbed and rigid smoothness. With its unforgiving hardness to feed your flesh on fire, excite your hungry sweetest spot, and offer the bliss of hind pleasures and other various delights both for females and males. Not to mention that you can dream away about water beasts too, as this dark beauty sneaks up on your flesh in slippery wetness in the shower, tub, hot tub and pool as well, never letting you escape from its arousing spell!

Being exactly the size of your average pleasure vibe, those beginners who already know the joy of being filled with a healthily girthy male member won't mind to submit themselves to the beastly horn. And advanced pleasure toy lovers will be more than satisfied with the comfortably fulfilling size of course! Especially because from the very tip of the horn the shaft's thickness gradually increases, being ideal to train your precious flesh and hind flesh, and the ribbing gives you those sensations some of us are oooooooohhh sooooooooooo very-very much crazy for, at the entrance of our muscles!!! And who wouldn't want to bask in the sweetest delights with an excellent curve what is delicately smooth, never too harsh, but still angled at its very best to hit the spot of your love chalice! Not to mention that we surely think it is more than purrrrrrfect to find that ever hiding male spot of heavenly bliss!

Level 8 safety hard plastic is always a blessing! This mighty affordable material is completely non-porous, food-grade, hypo-allergenic, and latex and phthalates free, low maintenance when it comes to cleaning, able to handle any lubricants of your desire!

The unforgivingly firm horn is of the shiny smoothness, with truly impossible to discover taste and smell even for those blessed with a most sensitive li'l nose and tongue! Like mentioned before, the ribbing in the center of it gives you the ultimate delight what has made some of us unable to resist to grab one quickly, with the three ribs being large and gentle enough even for the shy beginners who want to experiment with a little bit of texture play. And it must be the most delicious part of thrusting pleasures for those who satiate the hunger of their hind flesh with such an irresistible looking object of bliss!

Oh these horns, showing you the nature of this vividly painted world of illusions with the graceful horns of Egyptian goddesses! Coming in black and white, you grab just a glimpse of the mysteries filling our lives, as the animalistic shapes remind you of your deepest hunger, always insatiable because of the mark on your soul! Summoning horny mermaids and furious night-mares, a simple creation of man embodying just a little bit of what we have almost lost!

You can already see, I am more than fascinated by the design, and the impeccably well made size just adds to my always admiring enthusiasm! Having 8 inches of total size, only 7 5/8 because of the wonderful curve, with 5 1/2 inches of insertable sheer bliss! The already mentioned diameter of usualness is 1 1/2 inches, being the maximum girth for your comfort. It is only 1 1/8 inches at the ridges, behaving almost like the neck of a pleasure plug. From the 3/4 inch tip gradually increasing, you will surely discover the excitement of the different ranges of size!

And it is one not so surprising thing about the beastly tempter: as the mighty length and amazing curve mean that you will have to look around in your home to hide it somewhere, unless you already know where there is enough space for the 2 5/8 inches of total curved diameter! Well, this is no timid beast, as (s)he wants to rush at anyone stepping into your room! Being not so easy to tame this wild spirit you will just have to make space for it, to protect those innocent beings who dare to put their feet into your savagely occupied love nest!

And oh my, traveling...! We guess you will just fix up a headband for two of them, and when anybody sees you are with two HUGE artificial cocks you will just pull the headband out and put the horns into it to fool that smart enough person with your horny head ornament! Otherwise you will have to shoo stuff away in your suitcase or backpack, and keep your things scared away enough to maintain the needed space for this mightily sized delicious monster...

Poke, poke, poke, poke. That's all there is to the controls! Don't you believe it - just get one and check it out!

With only one single push button of this 2 AAA battery run vroomer you just hit it quickly once to turn it on, again and again to change speed, and once more to turn it off. Yep, it has three speeds only. Low constant vibration first, then medium constant vibration, then high constant vibration. One more hit will turn it off. Seriously.

There is NOTHING FANCY in the functions and controls: you don't have to and CAN'T turn it off by holding it for a few seconds on any speeds, as you have to go through the three speeds quickly to get to turning it off with one more hit! And it also doesn't have a memory chip inside as you may have found out already, meaning that it won't remember what function you used last time. Just on-low/medium/high/off, and all over again, and you CAN'T do it any other way!

Some may find it a disadvantage that you can't turn it off in the middle of your pleasure in an eye blink, but who said it would be a problem?

Here are three examples of the different models to this question:

1. vibes that can be turned off by keeping a button pressed for 2-5 seconds
2. vibes that can be turned off by a dedicated on/off button
3. vibes that can be turned off by a brief hit without any extra features of the ones above

The first function can be found in most of the luxury vibes in my experience, the second one has become more and more common lately, and the third one is common enough as well.

In the case of the divine horns you can't be growling about the difference: even on the lowest speed, meaning three needed hits on the button to turn the vroomer off, it takes less than a second to hammer the button quickly to turn it off! Weirdly simple but convenient, isn't it?

The ease of use is coupled up with an excellently built water resistance, with a whitish gray rubbery ring to seal it purrrrrrfectly. Not to mention that among the amazing advantages of hard plastic one is that the rigid hardness carries the vrooms like a dream! You feel them strongest in the deliciously shaped head, and well in the ridges as well. It is also a little surprising that you sense them clearly in the bottom of the horn too, and the only place where even your sensitive little fingers can't feel anything is around the push button, between the bottom and the ridges.

The unforgiving hardness is as exquisite for G-delights, as the rigid, never yielding toughness I am in LOVE with pleases your spot "whether you want it or not"! Oh and those vrooms! Being a healthy level of 4 vrooms it is among the VERY FEW traditional vroomers that are able to tease and please my rabid power hungry sweetest spot in a satisfying enough way! (And SHAME ON YOU, most of the clitoral vibes I have tried, being of the most amazing materials, functions and quality, not even getting close to this minimally acceptable level of power!) The oh so smooth hard plastic is a true blessing in one more manner as well, as there is no way pressure would ever mean a problem for this sturdy, tough, durable material! (And I am among those power queens who literally bury vroomers into their starving spots!)

There is only one, again, not so surprising fact about the mighty horn what many of you won't rejoice for: not only its size and power are beastly, but its scary rrrawrrrrrrrrr too! I am more than sure that even under blankets, through a closed door anyone will hear it clearly! Top it off with total silence of a peaceful sleepy time, and there is no way you can enjoy it without being alone/only with authorized company! Well yes, there are things you have to put up with when you have an untamed beast in your life...

Hard plastic is a true blessing like I said: clean it with hot water and antibacterial soap or toy cleaner, or wipe it down with isopropyl alcohol, and bask it in aaaaaall the lubricants you want! Be it water, silicone or oil-based, the divine horns won't mind any of them! (And remember, though hard plastic is completely non-porous, as you can't sanitize it you want to cover it for hind pleasures and when it is shared with your precious one or someone else!)

I have been keeping this gorgeous beauty in its original packaging for reviewing purposes so far, and to tell the truth I have no idea yet where in the world I will keep it, but of course it will have its cozy and warm spot just like my other beastly vroomers do.

Though one doesn't expect much of an elegance from manufacturers like Doc Johnson for example, I actually like the design pretty much.

A half-transparent, matte plastic box hides the transparent plastic cradle inside, with the (un)godly horn nestling in it. Various shades of gray and yin-yang symbols are arranged into quite the harmonic lines of balance, and the packaging is almost twice as wide and just a little longer than it would be needed for the divine tempter. (One quick note: I have no idea why in the world my box smells like chocolate, but I am about to gobble it aaaaaaaaall up!!!)

You see the gorgeous beauty through the box, and see a picture of the femininely and masculinely colored horns only on one side of it, black being the yin, and white being the yang. The nature of the product is POOF, into your face, shown by the texts on 3 of the 6 sides of the box! There is some "atmosphere casting blah-blah" on the other side of the packaging, and basic description on the back in English, French, German, Netherlander and Spanish. Plus legal notes, pretty much basic stuff only.

If there is no manual in the box now then I am sure there weren't any in there originally either, but everything is self-explanatory in this darkly beautiful loveliness. However, as it is more than obvious what the divine horn is used for, you do not want to send it as a gift in the original packaging, unless you tell the gifted person in time that (s)he is going to receive a pleasure toy, not wanting to have any unauthorized company around when it is being opened! Or just manage the packaging by yourself, as two of them could always be used for a goofy horned up headband like I mentioned before. Not to mention that as the box is larger than the space needed for storage it isn't necessary to keep it anyway...

OH MY OH MY OH MY HOLY FRIGGIN' COWS AND ALL THE HEAVENLY BUFFALOES I KEEP ON MENTIONING HERE, HOW INSANELY I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS DIVINELY BEASTLY SOURCE OF BEAUTY AND BLISS!!!

I know that there is barely anything special and fancy in the functions, as we would guess that at least some extra patterns are added to the amazing curve, or if nothing else then a better kind of material to take away that cheap look of plastic. But to tell the truth I really don't care about any of those, as I always use the highest constant vibration only, loving the rigid smoothness of unforgiving plastic, and the shape is just too damned delicious to make me growl about anything! Even if it had less power I would still be basking in the sweetest delights with it, as I didn't expect it to have such good vrooms like what it has!

I know, for $45 it is quite the ridiculous thing to obtain such a simple thing - that's why you should be smart like I was, and catch it when it is sold for half the price again! That was the final word for me to rush away and not resist anymore to grab one! And oh heavens and hells, was I right to get my paws on it finally! Will never find such a delicious horn anywhere like this ridged and elegant gorgeousness, being the most wonderful creation of plastic ever! Divinely wonderful!

I have no complaints! If there are such heavenly beasts out there their horn got dropped into my lap now, and it keeps my soul obsessed with the dreams and desires it awakens in me! I couldn't imagine anything more beautiful than the shape this dark horned creature has with its pleasing enough vrooms, and because of being plastic I already know that even if it died on me and I couldn't just grab another one anymore it will still be the dildo I want to have handy all the time just because of its ridges and curves and fulfilling size! I just wish it was rechargeable! It is good as it is, I would just LOVE it if it could run without any batteries to obtain, even that they are rechargeable ones!

I must admit that this GORGEOUS GORGEOUS GORGEOUS loveliness has been the very first pleasure toy I obtained only because of wanting to feel its texture (as I hadn't been interested in dildo textures until obtaining it, in the official sense, other than receiving a free Waterproof Turbo Glider Blueberry Bliss with its amazingly bulged head shortly before it) - and looks like now I am gone forever in these new horizons, falling downwards with lightning speed on the road of texture adventures I will have to be thinking about such items of bliss too anymore! Oh my, I guess the more new things you get into the more you want to try...

I would like to avoid the already boring "I highly recommend it" blah-blah, but in this case I can't skip it: yes, it's pricey, yes, it's basic - but its shape and its oh so arousing resemblance to the animal kingdom I admire so very much from the bottom of my heart just urges me to yell: "Hey, hey, get your paws on this divine horn because there is nothing in this world like this incredibly delightful plastic creation!!!"

I am IN LOVE IN LOVE IN LOVE WITH IT!!! WWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!