The crystal bead nipple rings were good for one thing; after wearing them we knew we wanted to get nipple piercings. Unfortunately, they're not good for much else.

My wife and I have very different sized nipples. She has rather large, gum-drop nipples that are always erect whereas mine are closer to the size of red dots and stay pretty relaxed most of the time. These rings didn't work on either of us. On both of us they were WAY too tight. It felt like someone was biting my nipple. Hard. It hurt so much that we could only stand to have them on for about five seconds, and we're used to some pretty brutal play with clothespins.

Since they weren't working for us we tired to give them to our roommate who has nipples even smaller than mine and she gave them back because they hurt too much. They looked really pretty, but we couldn't stand to have them on.

Since stretching works for clothespins that pinch too hard, we opted to try it on the nipple rings. First we tried puling at them gently to open them up a little and they still hurt. Then we tried stretching them in stacked magazines over 24 hours to try to open them up and they still hurt. Then we tried stretching them on books, and they still hurt (although a little less). Lastly, we tried stretching them by pinning them to the lip of a drawer for a day, but then they were so stretched out that they wouldn't stay on either of us.

Then, since I am a science nerd, I tried heating up the wire of the nipple rings in hot water and shaping them to our nipples, then slow-cooling them down first in tap water, then in ice.

They broke, and I officially gave up.

The only good thing about the experience was the fact that we both really loved the way the nipple rings looked. Although we could only look in the mirror for about five seconds before having to take them off, it was enough for us to make the decision to get them done for real.