The packaging of this wonderful toy was a complete surprise. It’s the first sex toy|Dream massager G I’ve ever gotten that didn’t have at least one picture of a scantily clad woman on it, which was refreshing. This didn’t even have a tasteful or romantic picture on it, just a clear window over the toy itself. Though it was a view onto one of the more oddly-shaped toys that had arrived on my doorstep, I was game.

I had carefully checked the Actual Size image, but somehow I wasn’t expecting it to be quite so large, and once inside it feels bigger than it looks. While it still isn’t as thick as the penis I get intimate with, the unyielding plastic makes it feel larger. If you are new to toys, this may be a little large for you, but more advanced users will likely wonder what on earth I’m talking about.

Our first stop was the bathroom to clean her up for a test drive. It’s waterproof, which is always a plus. Who doesn’t like easy clean-up? There was the faintest hint of new-toy smell, but after that first wash it was completely gone.

On to the vibrations. This is one of the QUIETEST vibes I have, but it doesn’t sacrifice any power for the volume. The power dial is easy to change, even one-handed and slippery, but is hard to hit by accident, because it’s the entire end of the bulb. The power is a nice smooth crescendo from butterfly to intense, a delightful trip without ever getting numbing. However, I must regretfully tell you that while the packaging says that it gyrates and ripples, it doesn’t. But with those yummy vibrations and a shape like that, it doesn’t need to!

I’m new to g-spot toys|The main types of vibrators, so curve at the tip of this seemed a bit odd and awkward at first. Then, it hit my g-spot, and I just about hit the ceiling, and I was coming soon after. I needed the vibrations turned up all the way to get much out of them internally, but man oh man were they amazing in the right spot! On the clit was another matter entirely: even the lowest setting was tantalizing, and the higher settings were orgasmingly good. The g-spot-finding shape has another plus: the tip is great for pinpointing the clit, and the curve behind it is wonderful for cupping around the area for a more diffuse pleasure.

I absolutely love this toy. The shape is great for finding the elusive g-spot without being too long or too short. The vibrations are divine. The velvety texture is almost cuddly. It’s waterproof, and cleanup before and after is a breeze. What more could a girl want?

After a little playing, I found another wonderful use for this toy. While using it on my clit in reverse-cowgirl, I slipped it a bit lower to tease him. When I hooked it under his balls, he almost jumped through the ceiling. The shape of the end it just right to cup around his balls and tease them from below.

During one of my yearly moves between home and dorm, my Dream Massager G was misplaced. For months, I couldn't find it, and gradually I forgot that it had ever gone missing. Imagine my surprise when a toy I'd forgotten I had, turned up while doing some much-needed reorganizing!

I'm happy to say that my lovely vibrator is alive and well. The vibrations are just as strong and quiet as the day the toy was lost, it's still waterproof, and my vagina still loves it to pieces. Unfortunately, it was lost alongside a leaky bottle of Pjur Woman, and extended contact with a small amount of this lube left a discolored spot on the toy. After rigorous testing and scrubbing to see if this had in any way compromised the toy, I declared it safe and put it back into the regular toy rotation and storage. Even though I've had a great deal more experience with sex toys since this one disappeared, I'm glad to have it back.