Ever since I was a teenager I have been intrigued by The Tongue. The thought of a real feeling tongue and the ability to use it at will was amazing. I first saw an ad for The Tongue in a Cosmo mag and have wondered about it ever since. So when I saw an opportunity to review it, I jumped at it.

I have to say I'm a little disappointed. This toy definitely offers up something unique that you have never felt before, but I don't think it is comparable to getting eaten out. The texture is similar to that of a tongue, but it is just far too large and fast to feel like the real thing. It also takes some work and patience in order to find out what works for you.

The product page has this titled The Tongue, but I received The Tongue 2. It is a large, hunky toy and, despite its label as a vibrator, this toy does not vibrate. It rotates in various motions: a mixture of flicking and gyrating all at once.

This thing measures 9" long with a total insertable length of 4". This can be inserted but its main focus is clitoral stimulation. The base measures 5" long and is 3" across length/width wise. The base is not flat, and the toy can't really be stood up on it. It does have an optional charger that is sold separately, and it takes 4 AA's.

The Tongue is made of Jelly which is very porous. It has flat raised bumps on it to simulate taste buds. The texture is somewhat realistic and intriguing.

To care for Jelly you must wash it before and after each use with soap and warm water. Keep this away from other materials and toys as it can absorb bacteria and dyes easily. It is also a lint magnetic so beware of stuffing it in the sock drawer. Condoms are suggested when using or sharing this.

Instead of vibrating, this tongue gyrates in a super fast motion while simulating flicking. It goes really fast on its lowest setting, and has about 5 speeds to it. These speeds are controlled by a switch on the base that simply slides up or down. I doubt even power queens will want this on high all the way- it's not too strong, but it just goes too damn fast.

The noise matches the speed too. Wow this thing sounds like a hummer coming through! It is not discreet whatsoever and if you are heard using this my guess is that it will be pretty obvious what you are up to. It can be heard through closed doors for sure. I was a little nervous using it during the day with my neighbors walking around outside my windows (I live in apartments and mine is right by the parking lot).