I have had many a mistress before, but never one as well…unimpressive as this.

I don’t mean it offensively, but come on. This is one of the smallest (girth-wise) dildos that you can get…what would make you want to call such a skinny little thing the Mistress?

I came across this (no pun intended…really, because I didn’t) when I was looking for a small dildo to use with my Syd Harness by Outlaw. It was our first time using a dildo harness and I was nervous because I have a pretty freaking small cunt. As in guys tend to get sore when we have intercourse. Ergo, I wanted to find a dildo that was at the smaller end of the size department, and one that still had a vibe in the bottom of it; the Mistress (a 100% silicone dildo by one of Vixen, one of my favorite companies) fit the bill perfectly.

The color is superb! I personally hate realistic looking cocks, so the lovely turquoise was a treat for me (although my partner likes the more realistic looking dildos, so I guess beauty is in the eye of the harness wearer). The bullet (which has a pull-string attached – bonus points!) in the base is also really freaking awesome; a little lube and it slides right in, and once it’s on, it feels DIVINE. A little more lube to slide the bullet out, and you can clean it with soap and water, or sterilize it by boiling it, or washing it (without detergent) on the top rack of your dishwasher (if only I, a starving grad student, had a dishwasher. Sigh).

Anyway. The problem was not with the material (which is wonderful), or with the bullet, as the problem sometimes is. It wasn’t even with the cock being too large, which can be the problem with regards to me. I think it was that the Mistress too small. Yes, you heard me right. Me, the anti-size queen, thinks that a cock is too freaking small. Maybe with less foreplay and less lube (A JOKE), it might have fit better, but honestly, it just didn’t do it for me when it was strapped in the Syd.

Now, later on, by myself, without my partner to turn me on and get me dripping wet and all hot and bothered, it was a different story. The Mistress is a great play toy by myself. It’s a good size all alone, and with the Hitachi Magic Wand, we make music together (can I get any cheesier?). It’s just in a harness, it doesn’t work well, and I like ‘em as small as they come…and even I couldn’t come!