The Watchmen

This toy is quite larger and is not for the faint at heart. It is very filling and more than likely will require lube and some patience. Just relax is the best advice that I can give. It's textured without being intensely so. If you're up for trying a large toy this is a good place to start, as I found it to be a good experience.
Published:
Pros
Super-safe. Textured, but not too intense.
Cons
I can't really find anything that I dislike. More colors would be nice though.
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review

Use

My first thoughts upon opening this were all about the massive size. I do not find myself able to thrust very fast or hard with this thing due to its monstrous size. Entry required lube, porn, and some warming up. I suppose if you wanted to use this toy anally, the balls make for a base that is reasonable enough for rear entry; I will NEVER be taking this thing back there. It can be used with or without a harness.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Everyone
    • Gender play
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • G-spot

Material / Texture

This is made out of wonderfully safe, soft, and odorless food-grade material silicone (This is VERY important to know in case you are purchasing it to stir your soup.) . Silicone is awarded a 10, the highest safety rating available on the site. Platinum is quite veiny and you can feel the texture, although I don't really see it being too much for people. It also warms up a bit as you play with it to make things a bit more "realistic". There's a slight bit of give to it and you can pull it down and watch it spring up if, like me, you are easily amused. However, it's plenty firm enough to serve its purpose and serve it well.
    • Harness compatible
    • No odor
    • Not porous at all

Design / Shape / Size

Platinum looks like a penis and balls. It even feels an awful lot like a penis. Well a giant blue penis and balls, although he does also come in beige. As I have previously mentioned, this thing is quite large. I don't see very many people able to take this without lube.

Obviously, there is very little discretion with this toy. Airport security will be trying not to giggle and the giant dick in your carry-on or they'll be a bit intimidated by the giant dick. If you don't care what security thinks, then by all means take this toy with you.

The color is a bit lighter than the picture and has a nice almost pearlescent finish to it.
    • Realistic

Performance

The size is quite large, but you wouldn't be purchasing this toy if that wasn't what you were looking for. You do feel quite full but I found that once I warmed up to it it wasn't horribly uncomfortable. It will sort of stick to the wall but not for any length of time (or maybe the paint in my apartment sucks) so I haven't been able to take advantage of that feature. Well, beyond entertainment purposes anyways. As I mentioned, it is compatible with an o-ring harness. I don't own one so I cannot discuss its compatibility.
    • Easy to use

Care and Maintenance

Silicone is pretty easy to care for. You should keep this toy away from silicone-based lubricants and jelly toys; but aside from that, store as you wish. I keep it in a plastic baggy by itself in the drawer my other toys. Silicone does have a tendency to get a bit covered in dusty and hair. Washing it prior to every use is definitely necessary. Washing it after every use is common hygiene. You can do pretty much whatever you want, throw it in the dishwasher, use a mild bleach solution, toy cleaner, antibacterial soap and hot water, or boil it in some water.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

This toy came packaged in a blister package (which I have since thrown away) and an insert. The insert has a decent design behind Platinum, but I'm a Media Study student and tend to notice things like that. In other words, it wasn't a porn star or flowers or anything super-cheesy. It was decent packaging. The back of the insert lists its key points, such as the material, its harness compatibility, suggests throwing it in the dishwasher, and that it was made in America. There are no instructions but I'm fairly certain that if you need dildo instructions, well, this really is not the toy for you.
    • Not discreet
    • Not porny
Follow-up commentary
I wish that there was an option for I love this a thousand times more than I did before. Something happened within the last few months one day that made me fall hard for this giant blue dildo. I'm not sure what it was but there were weeks at a time when I found myself reaching only for this particular toy. It's still in excellent condition despite the wear and tear that I've placed upon it though. I found myself wanting it's highly textured veined surface like no other toy before. The toy lust has since cooled a bit but it's still a top favorite.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Waterfall
    Thanks for the review. Love this color, blue toys are pretty
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Then why the 4 stars instead of 5?
  • Contributor: Kim!
    Thanks, Waterfall.

    Lauren, I did like it a lot but I tend to reserve 5 stars for the absolute best toys in my opinion. While this didn't have anything that I disliked it wasn't quite at a 5 star level in my opinion.
  • Contributor: LittleBoPeep
    thanks for the review
  • Contributor: Selective Sensualist
    I reserve 5 stars for the absolute best toys that I have tried, too. (I know which ones they are, but just have not gotten around to writing the reviews on them!) A 4-star rating, from me, is still an excellent rating and means that I highly recommend it. A 5 star means I am shouting from the rooftops that I think you should drop what you are doing and run out and get one.
    Nice review!
  • Contributor: Jenn (aka kissmykitty)
    I love how you referenced Watchmen -- this is indeed that very shade of blue!

    Very well-written review. I love that feeling of fullness, but this may even be a little much for me, heh.
  • Contributor: Kim!
    Yeah, that's where I stand, Selective Sensualist. I look at it as a 3 is just eh, it isn't horrible but it isn't great, I wouldn't want it to be the only thing that I won. Ratings of 1's and 2's are obviously not great or really bad. Anything with a 4 is great and I do recommend it, if it has a 5 then yeah, everyone needs this yesterday.

    Jenn, yeah I couldn't help myself with the title! Thank you!
  • Contributor: Bunnycups
    I like the Watchmen reference too. Great title, great review!
  • Contributor: DeliciousSurprise
    Good review.
  • Contributor: Mydildo
    Very nice review!
  • Contributor: M121212
    Great follow-up!
  • Contributor: null
    Thanks for the review & follow up!
  • Contributor: Tart
    Great review!
  • Contributor: ToyGurl
    Wonderful review! I just love the color of this dong... soooo pretty! If I wasn't so reserved I would put this one out just to show it off!
  • Contributor: BellaDonna2884
    Thanks
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