While the John Doe is a well-made silicone cock, with many exciting and unique qualities, it was generally not for us. This dildo is easy to clean and fun to play with, with a removable vibrating bullet, and is o-ring harness compatible.

At a little over six inches, the John Doe is a more modest cock than I would normally want for vaginal penetration and than Skip would prefer for his dick size. It is, however, an acceptable size to me for anal or sucking play. We found that because of the large size of the head of this dick, it is difficult to find an o-ring that will fit over it and still prevent the base of the dildo from slipping out of the harness during some rough fucking.

Another negative is that although the vibration is good, if you’re into that (it’s not something we generally go for in toys), it is just one setting that is relatively strong. For me, the strength numbs the pleasure of getting fucked and takes away from the interaction and sensation with my partner.

I would recommend the John Doe more as a personal toy for those who like vibration when they masturbate. The vibrating bullet is controlled by a button at the bottom that sticks out a bit from the vibrator. This means it clicks on and off a lot when using both as a hand-held and especially in a harness. This, for us, was more frustrating than thrilling and left us both wanting a good classic big cock sans vibration.

Though the John Doe is semi-realistic dildo (we got the beige, which was close to skin color), it did not have balls and was a little small for any real cock I’d want. As a transman, Skip found it did not fulfill his expectations for what he likes in his cock. The packaging was exciting and made us feel like we had received a futuristic and generally thrilling new phallus with which to play, but the John Doe fell short (literally and figuratively) of these promising expectations.

We give this three bees because it's not something we'd recommend to use when your parents are home, four vrooms because the vibration tended to overpower the sensation, and two stars because overall it fell short of our standards.