The Realistic Squirmy Cock by Doc Johnson is a unique spin on a classic vibrating dildo. Rather than vibrate, this toy actually has a circular rotation that will massage your body on the inside. There is an attached controller that allows you to manipulate the speed of the wiggling motion.

The Realistic Squirmy cock can be used both vaginally and anally. (If you plan on using this toy for both, I recommend you use a condom for safety purposes.) If you are thrusting the dildo inside of yourself (or your partner), you can hold onto the testicles; they act as a base so that the toy cannot be inserted too far.

Furthermore, at the bottom of the dildo, there is a suction cup. It is quite strong and can be stuck to most flat surfaces. Once the dildo is secure, you can pleasure yourself, while keeping your hands free.

Lastly, because of the share of the Realistic Squirmy Cock, it can be attached to a harness. Once again, the testicles will act as a base, which will hold the dildo snug in place. The controller and wire cannot be detached though, so you may want to hold onto it in order to avoid tangling.

The Realstic Squirmy Cock is comprised of rubber. Rubber is porous, and therefore, isn’t the easiest to clean. As a result, this material is only rated 3 out of 10 on EdenFantasys’ safety scale. There are ways to keep the dildo as sanitary as possible. Of course, cleaning the cock well after each use and storing it in a clean environment are key. You may also want to consider using a condom; this is particularly true if you are sharing this dildo with another person or using it in various bodily orifices.

The other negative aspects of rubber are the smell and how it collects lint. Personally, I don’t really mind that the Realistic Squirmy Cock has an odor and I couldn’t smell it unless I put my nose right up to the toy. With time and repeated washing, the smell has become less prominent anyway. However, the fact that this dildo collects lint really drives me crazy. Since I want to ensure that the toy is clean before each use, I wash it thoroughly and let it run under water (I make sure not to get the controller wet of course).

As the name of the product implies, this dildo is meant to be realistic. Therefore, it has been molded not just to look like a real cock, but to feel like one as well. To the touch, the shaft is a bit too slick to feel life-like. Moreover, if you grip the shaft, you will be able to feel the mechanical device on the inside.

However, when the dildo is inserted, it could easily be mistaken for the real thing! The veins and shape of the head are great details that can definitely be felt. Unless you are extremely sensitive to texture, there grooves of this product should not create any discomfort; rather, they should enhance pleasure.

When I first opened the package, I was pleasantly surprised with the attention to detail. I knew the product was meant to be realistic, but the minute details were still impressive. For instance, the veins are actually blue in color, the testicles are wrinkled, there is a urethral opening, the head is pink (compared to the beige shaft), etc. When taking all of this into consideration, the Realistic Squirmy Cock definitely lives up to its name.



Underneath the testicles, there is a suction cup. It feels a bit thin, but is actually quite strong. I have stuck it to a wooden chair and the wall. Despite the toy being a bit heavy (it weighs about 1.5 pounds), the dildo stayed in place.



In total length, the Realistic Squirmy cock measures just under 7.5 inches; 6.5 inches are insertable.

I measured the circumference at two separate points in order to give the most accurate description. When wrapped around the head of the dildo, the circumference is 5.75 inches. However, when the measuring tape was places around the thickest bulge (located in the shaft), the circumference was 6 inches. The measurements aren’t too far off from one another, but for smaller women like me, it can make a pretty big difference.

The controller is 6.25 inches in length and the handle is 4.5 inches in circumference. The wire is relatively long and measures a little over 30 inches when pulled taut.

The Realistic Squirmy Cock moves in a circular motion; it “squirms”. The controller refers to this motion as twisting. The controller allows you to manipulate the “twister” between the lowest and highest speed setting by rolling a ridged piece of plastic.

There is definitely a world of difference between the different speeds. Personally, I like to start out slow and work my way up to the fastest setting. I’m quite sensitive, so with most toys, I hardly ever end up using the strongest setting. Thankfully, with this dildo, the rotating motion is did not cause any issues. While it can definitely be felt, it never became overpowering.

The controller takes 3 C batteries. In order to make my batteries last, I never store my toys with the batteries inside of it. However, there were a few times where I went to store the Realistic Squirmy Cock for a short period of time and left the batteries inside, knowing I would use it again later. The issue I found was that the controller is that it is a bit too sensitive. While placing the product inside a storage bag, I accidentally hit the controller and powered it on. It was a good thing that I noticed the sound; otherwise, the batteries would have drained.

Caring for this toy is relatively simple. All you need is some anti-bacterial soap and water or any sort of toy cleaner. I highly recommend you thoroughly clean the product before and after each use. Even though the cleaning process is simple, this a high maintenance toy, in my opinion, simply because it is porous. When cleaning, I take my time to ensure that each crease is free of any sort of bacteria.

If you are like me and are tight, you may want to consider using lubricant with the Realistic Squirmy Cock. Since the dildo is made of rubber, you can use either water-based or silicone-based lubricant. Just make sure you clean the toy well afterwards to ensure that there isn’t any excess lube clinging to the product.

In order to keep the Realistic Squirmy Cock as clean and lint-free as possible, you’ll want to store it in a clean location. The dildo does come with a blue storage bag, but I didn’t find it to be sanitary enough for this toy. Since the bag is cloth, it does have stray pieces of material that will stick to the dildo. Additionally, the bag doesn’t close air-tight, so lint can still get trapped inside. I chose to use this bag to store another toy (one which isn’t a lint magnet).

The packing was minimal, but far from discreet. The product came in a cardboard box with a picture of the dildo plastered on it. It wasn’t overly bulky, but I personally didn’t feel the need to keep it around. I chose to simply recycle the packaging materials and find a container suitable for storage.

Originally when I pulled the dildo out of the packaging, it hardly moved. Since I had watched a video on the product, I figured the one that I had received was defective. Disappointed, I was going to request an exchange for a working product.

However, I did some research and found that a lot of people had experienced a similar issue. Luckily, there was a simple solution. All I had to do was turn the controller to a higher setting and, as the cock swirled around, grab onto it (not very hard). While holding on, I guided the shaft it into making a larger range of motion. I kept my grip for about 3 or 4 circular motions before letting go. Once I released the dildo, it had a much larger range of motion, which made me quite happy!