size queens dance with delight
This is not a toy for an average person. This is a toy for size queens who are a little bit insane. If that describes you ... honey, grab the lube and strap in.
Published:
Pros
Long. Thick. Strong, gyrating balls for intense stimulation.
Cons
Definitely too large and intense for many.
Listen. I own a few big dicks. Okay, I own A LOT of big dicks. But Love Doctor made me gasp when I pulled it out of its packaging. It's a mouthwatering 9.5" magenta monster, standing fully erect on a suction cup base and replete with throbbing veins ready to pleasure you into next week - or the next world.
I'd actually gotten this one in the hopes I could properly impale myself on it, full body weight and everything. Um, yeah, talk about eyes bigger than your cunt ... That dream will have to be postponed until the day I decide my cervix is disposable, and/or would really suit me better if it were relocated about 6 inches deeper in my body, but I can't really say I'm complaining. For such a massive size it's surprisingly easy to take! That said, I do recommend warm-up and lube nonetheless. Love Doctor is all about tough love, so you'll want to be prepped for your session if you don't want to have to tap out early.
The gyrating balls along the shaft are merciless. Overstimulation fans will LOVE this one. The movement simulates thrusting without actually being thrusting - which, give the sheer size of this doohickey, is probably for the best. If you've never been literally drilled until your thighs are shaking before, this is your chance to find out what it feels like. Seriously, it's like this thing finds your weak points and puts a jackhammer to them. Subtlety is not this toy's strong suit, but if you're buying a 9.5" vibrating magenta dong then subtlety is presumably not what you're looking for - and you've made the correct decision.
If you want to be even less subtle, Love Doctor's design easily allows for a second vibe on the clit. Just sayin' ;)
The silicone is squishier and more textured than I'm used to - think a dense TPR, but with none of the TPR downsides. It's very skinlike, and provides some cushioning for those dancing balls so it feels ... y'know, pleasurable, instead of like a world championship ping-pong match taking place in your pussy. (Well, okay, it does still feel a little bit like that, but in a pleasurable way.) If there's one thing I could add it would be a vibrating motor in the head, which currently doesn't contribute much to the toy aside from an extra 1.5" in length. If they changed that, it would probably kick this pick from a 4 star rating to a 5 for me.
The only other thing I'd change if I could is the noise. It's really not terrible - your neighbors will probably not be reporting you for unauthorized construction at 1am, for example - but it is a little high-pitched compared to most of my other toys. The noise level isn't actually that loud compared to the power it packs, but "discreet" isn't a word that applies here. (See again: 9.5" vibrating magenta dong. Are you guys catching a theme?)
As for the basics: The control is a single power/play mode button at the base. Press once to activate the toy, press again to start vibrations or switch modes. There are 3 speed intensities and several fun patterned vibration modes to play with as well. The toy also comes with a remote control, which is great for when you've been fucked into putty and can't be fumbling around with your hands trying to hit the button while it's in you. The charger is magnetic and Love Doctor charges quickly; it will be ready to go when you are!
I'd actually gotten this one in the hopes I could properly impale myself on it, full body weight and everything. Um, yeah, talk about eyes bigger than your cunt ... That dream will have to be postponed until the day I decide my cervix is disposable, and/or would really suit me better if it were relocated about 6 inches deeper in my body, but I can't really say I'm complaining. For such a massive size it's surprisingly easy to take! That said, I do recommend warm-up and lube nonetheless. Love Doctor is all about tough love, so you'll want to be prepped for your session if you don't want to have to tap out early.
The gyrating balls along the shaft are merciless. Overstimulation fans will LOVE this one. The movement simulates thrusting without actually being thrusting - which, give the sheer size of this doohickey, is probably for the best. If you've never been literally drilled until your thighs are shaking before, this is your chance to find out what it feels like. Seriously, it's like this thing finds your weak points and puts a jackhammer to them. Subtlety is not this toy's strong suit, but if you're buying a 9.5" vibrating magenta dong then subtlety is presumably not what you're looking for - and you've made the correct decision.
If you want to be even less subtle, Love Doctor's design easily allows for a second vibe on the clit. Just sayin' ;)
The silicone is squishier and more textured than I'm used to - think a dense TPR, but with none of the TPR downsides. It's very skinlike, and provides some cushioning for those dancing balls so it feels ... y'know, pleasurable, instead of like a world championship ping-pong match taking place in your pussy. (Well, okay, it does still feel a little bit like that, but in a pleasurable way.) If there's one thing I could add it would be a vibrating motor in the head, which currently doesn't contribute much to the toy aside from an extra 1.5" in length. If they changed that, it would probably kick this pick from a 4 star rating to a 5 for me.
The only other thing I'd change if I could is the noise. It's really not terrible - your neighbors will probably not be reporting you for unauthorized construction at 1am, for example - but it is a little high-pitched compared to most of my other toys. The noise level isn't actually that loud compared to the power it packs, but "discreet" isn't a word that applies here. (See again: 9.5" vibrating magenta dong. Are you guys catching a theme?)
As for the basics: The control is a single power/play mode button at the base. Press once to activate the toy, press again to start vibrations or switch modes. There are 3 speed intensities and several fun patterned vibration modes to play with as well. The toy also comes with a remote control, which is great for when you've been fucked into putty and can't be fumbling around with your hands trying to hit the button while it's in you. The charger is magnetic and Love Doctor charges quickly; it will be ready to go when you are!
Experience
Given the massive size and intensity, I can't say that Love Doctor has or is likely to make it into my routine rotation - mostly due to pesky problems like "needing to walk the day after I get fucked" and other silly issues of adult life. What a shame, right? But it's a fun one to have in the collection :P
This product was provided at a discounted price in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the
FTC guidelines.
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Comments
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Great review abee, love the details you give and humor! I was curious how the gyrating beads in the dildo would feel, sounds like it's very intense which is just what I would like
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