I don't spend a huge amount of time reading toy reviews. I'm generally too busy writing them and trying desperately to write smut and to keep up with all the great writers whose blogs I read. But every once in a while the two worlds intersect as when I read Always Aroused Girl's review of the tentacle by Whipsider Rubberworks|Tentacle Dildo.

Her description, "this may be the most gloriously amazing dildo with which I have ever had the pleasure of fucking myself silly," instantly got my curiosity raging and ever since I've been dying to try it. Imagine my glee when I managed to make it happen!

I like several things about the Tentacle on sight. First of all, it comes in a ziploc bag with a paper card and the dildo. That's it, no excessive packaging or waste involved whatsoever. The bag is even reusable! So already it's getting environmental bonus points from me. Furthermore, it's made of awesomely molded silicone that smells clean and feels delightful against your skin and shimmers in beautiful shades of aqua blue.

There is a sharp curve to the tentacle and one side is covered in little suckers or hollow sort of round puddle-looking indentations. At first you think these will get in the way, but then (after applying some NON-silicone lube - I recommend Emerita Warming) as the small, rounded tip traces its way along your body and the smooth sides caresses your skin before you flip it over to run the little ridges along your body you will realize that they are, in fact, wonderful.

The tentacle starts out a little slowly and then just keeps getting better. At first, when your body is still cold, it's just another foreign object rubbing along your body. As you warm up and tickle your g-spot with the aforementioned pointy end (the sharp curve is extremely helpful here) and your body starts to shudder and moisten and those little indents start to feel like the most masterful lover ever as they stroke your now-aroused clitoris.

I would have liked the tentacle to be about an inch longer. When I had it all the way inside me it was just a little tough to get a good grip on the wide, flared base because there was so little left that was sticking out AND it was covered in girl juice and lube. This same base makes the toy unsafe for ass play and unusable for harness play but renders it perfect for displaying as a sculpture on your desk... which I do.

So here you are in the dark right? Stroking this toy in and out of your hungry insides or rubbing either the smooth or contoured sides along your pulsing clit or some combination of both and you know what? It GLOWS.IN.THE.DARK!!! How awesome is that?

Totally awesome.

But I digress, this toy had me coming for something like fifteen or twenty minutes without ever coming off the edge of the precipice I was sitting on, and when I finally did? It was a glorious and wonderful explosion.

In short? I don't think Always Aroused Girl used enough hyperbole in her review|Tentacle Dildo Review because this may be the most glorious dildo ever.

Seriously, it's that good.