First of all, the name "Mr. Limpy" might be suited for his floppy bigger brothers, but this guy can stand upright on his own while maintaining squeezable, realistic softness. Calling him "extra small" is a joke—the "small" is almost six inches long! And then each size upwards only increases one inch—"medium" is almost seven and "large" is almost eight. How can the difference between "small" and "large" be only two inches in length?

But for a soft pack, this size (three and a half) is just right for most folks. I like a packer that is discreet but noticeable to someone who is checking you out, and that's exactly what this is. It feels awesome in your hands and under clothing, totally passes the grope and grind test, but also passes the mother-in-law test: meaning if I was packing this and unexpectedly ran into my mother-in-law, I wouldn't have to go running for the nearest bathroom. If you are of above-average size or want something that will bulge even under loose-fitting clothing (or you just want to play around with a huge, flaccid cock), then perhaps you'll want to size up—but you're going to miss out on the balls. The balls on this one are not only fun to squeeze, but also balance him out and help him sit right against your body if you're packing without a harness or strap. The other models have flatter balls, especially for their size—this one, ironically, sports the biggest balls of the bunch.

They should call him "Mr. Grope-y" because of how he feels to the touch. After a rinse with water (no soap—for a deep clean, use rubbing alcohol) and then some cornstarch, his superskin is super velvety soft. The hardest part about wearing him is resisting the urge to fondle. I couldn't detect any smell on him, nor any taste. I wouldn't run around letting people put their mouth on him for two reasons: First, he'll be super sticky afterwards (not cool if you're out and have to keep packing him, guess it's fine if you're at home...but since you're home, why would you use your packer instead of a hard cock?). Second, he's porous and too soft to even keep a condom on. Grope and be groped all you want, but he's for foreplay only.

He used to come in three colors: mocha, vanilla, and pink. Nowadays, I only see the pink version available. A return of the other color options would be really nice. Be careful about leaving him on stuff, especially vinyl or plastic, because apparently he can absorb color from certain materials (good to know if you'd like to change his color, too). Besides the unrealistic color, the detailing is impressive. Subtle wrinkles, some razor bumps (I kid you not), a vein running up the shaft, and a little urethra at the tip of the head.

On durability: he is squeezable and really super stretchy, but I'm pretty sure getting caught on a sharp object, or, say, a zipper, would shred him pretty easily. He also might show wear and tear if you are using anything that is tight (like rubber bands) or hard (like a metal o-ring) to keep him in place. He should be safe riding in snug underwear or the pocket of a packing strap. I don't pack him daily, just when I feel like it, and he hasn't shown any changes so far. If you're packing daily, I would wash and starch him frequently to keep him from getting funky. He's also pretty affordable and easy to replace.

The effectiveness of this cock as a packer kinda seems almost like an accident. He was made by Fleshlight, essentially as a gag gift, which is why you get the impression that the people who made him didn't really give him the respect such a well-designed cock deserves when they named and marketed him. All the more reason to give him a nice new home, in your pants.

Color problem solved! I've been playing around with this out of curiosity, because it's not like a packer is an item that gets much facetime anyway, so even if I had failed in my efforts it wouldn't have diminished my affection for this product. But I'm happy to report that there is an easy, low cost way to quickly get your packer to resemble your flesh tone. First, based on a review on another site, I tried chalk pastels. No go, it would dry and crack, and upon washing the pink would be unchanged. Next, I tried leaving it out in the sun. This did produce some minor fading, and I have no doubt that if you leave your packer in a sunlit room for hours everyday, you will see significant lightening over time. But it will take awhile and pale pink is still not what I was going for. Then it hit me- makeup. I bought some concealer that resembles my skin tone (in stick form, I'm not an expert in this field so I don't know how else to describe it), gave Mr. Limpy a nice rinse so that he was slightly damp, rubbed it in, let it dry, and was really surprised when it didn't wash off. Well, some of it did, but he absorbed enough that the color stays and doesn't transfer to skin or fabric. If you want a more realistic color (or hell, a crazy custom color) on your packer I think this is a great option, considering that they make so many different shades of this stuff. Who knew I would ever find a use for makeup?