This gorgeous dark chocolate play toy has definitely made my all-nighters worth it. Throw back ten cups of coffee, study, then at 5 AM, go for a ride and get to bed. The Bad Boyz dong will tire you out, trust me. This is a great little, or, well, NOT so little vibrating dildo will get the job done and then some. It's great for vaginal use, of course, but also anal and partner play. It's anal safe, do to the large base, and great for partners because you can strap this dildo into your harness. Just please, please, please make sure to wear condoms if you're switching it up between anal or vaginal play or if you're sharing this guy. I'll go more into this in the cleaning and material part of the review, but I personally suggest wearing a condom on this toy whenever you use it.

You can also rub the tip against your clitoris or over your body and nipples. The vibrations feel lovely all over your body. When you lube this big boy up, it's perfect for use anywhere and everywhere. It's sure to fill and sure to please. Stick it to your bathtub (just make sure the waters not running!), to your hardwood floors, to your door and go at it!

Why, god, why? This part of the toy is AWFUL. I've seen a few toys in my time, but this was seriously making me doubt my position here at EF. Literally, I considered sending it back and just saying, "That's it. I quit." I tend to be the more optimistic type of reviewer. Other people rant and rave about a smell and I'll say that you can't smell it unless your nose is to the toy. Other people say that it's far too firm to pleasure and I'll say that it's made for people who like a sturdier toy. But this... oh boy.

This dildo is made out of rubber, and you'll know it when you get it. Not only does it reek once out of the bag, it doesn't go away. You can smell it 1" from the toy and you can taste it in your mouth. Unless you like munching rubber, it's not the best toy to blow.

When I got the toy, there was orange dust everywhere. It was all over the toy, the inside of the bag, and on the remote. I thought the person packaging it must have been going a bit too heavy on the Cheetos til I realized that nothing's packaged by hand anymore, and more frighteningly that it was actually the color of the toy just pooping all over the place. Thankfully, one wash took care of that, but there's NO way that thing is going inside my body without a nice thick condom over it.

The texture, however, as I'll touch on a bit below, is really quite great. There are no big ripples of ridges, with the exception of the pronounced head, but it's extremely realistic and I found that to be a big turn on. The toy is smooth, but slightly rippled and quite veiny, just like an excited and well endowed man should be.

The firmness of the toy is really wonderful, too. I've had two other dildos in the past. One was really flexible, the other pretty rigid (but not up to glass or steel status). This is a perfect in between. It's just so lifelike! It's flexible, but not bendable per say. I would not be able to bend this toy back on itself, but I can almost make it point upwards and downwards. Not quite, but almost. This guys a handful, alright! Can you tell? It's like having a relationship. There's ups and downs, but ultimately as long as everyone gets laid, it's okay. Overall, the texture is sure to please, but only if you can get past the awful first few moments of cleaning the product. First impressions mean a lot, guys. Take a hint, Cal Exotics!

The shape exceeded my expectations. It has a very pronounced head, which feels great. Trust. In. Me. It is, for the most part, extremely anatomically correct. I'm pretty sure on this one, not just because I love cocks, but because I'm pre-med. +1 Life Skill! It has great veins and a beautiful frenulum. I have this weird THING for frenulums, so that made me happy. And yes, I know I'm a super creeper. Don't make fun of me! Frenulums are dope.

The one thing I DIDN'T like about the shape/design was the balls. Now, I don't mind balls at all. I love them, too! Gotta share the love. Sharing is caring, you know? But these... oh boy, how to describe this... they have a very strange representation of wrinkling on them. It looks like someone took a rake to this poor dudes sack. I don't know, maybe I haven't spent enough time just staring at a dude's junk lately, but I'm pretty sure I've never seen that before. It's just off-putting to me, though. It did not affect my pleasure whatsoever, and I felt that trying to reach the balls was a goal. Still trying to get there, guys! Wish me luck on my journey.

Although it's a beautifully crafted dildo, I wouldn't recommend this for beginners. He's a pretty big guy. He clocks in at 9" long with an insertable length of 7". It's big, and not only in length but in girth. It's 1 and 3/4" wide. I know there are some size queens out there who're gonna stop telling me to be such pussy, but what can I say? My puss is small and needs some time to adjust. I am a big fan of pushing it to the limit and an even bigger fan of pain, so this was right up my alley. I've been needing a challenge lately. So ladies, as an ending word on girth—it's LARGE and IN CHARGE. It's fulfilling; just make sure you're ready!

The battery compartment is a pretty crappy design. It's a poor plastic shell that gobbles up two AA batteries. It's easy to open, which is nice. It's also easy to open (Oh, did I say that already), which is bad. If you're in the middle of a hot sesh and you slam your hand down to turn up or down the vibrations, you've got a pretty good chance of:

A.) Breaking it
B.) Sliding the cap off and displacing the batteries
C.) All of the above

And honey, your options aren't lookin' too good.

In it's defense, I've adapted to the toy and we're working together to make every session a magical experience. I don't mind compromising with my sweetie to get what I want. :]

The place where you insert the cord is also a little.. flimsy to say the least. You can get tangled up in it and pull it out pretty easily, but not easily enough that's it's ever affected me. The good thing about this cord is that it's about 2' long, so it doesn't really get in your way when you're playing. It's just long enough to place beside your partner and up the setting as you desire. It does tend to get a bit slippery during a session with lube, but the grooves in the dial and the etching on the front prevent it from going anywhere.

It's really not discreet, at all. It's just so big and dark! I love the look of this thing. I got it because it was just so dark and yummy looking. I may buy another just to do some hipster craft magic and display it on my mantel. Don't judge; you would if you could, too. Don't lie! :] Everyone knows what this is, so you may as well just admit it if you're flying. Tell the TSA and hope they don't ask for a private pat down. Tell your pilot. Tell your stewardess. I don't care if she doesn't check you bags. Own that shit!

The vibrations are quite lovely and easily felt both inside and outside the body. It's not as strong as other vibrators out there on the market, so I'd stay away if you need a fairy wand to get you off. It'll definitely get the job done for those who like a medium-strong vibration. If this were a steak, I'd call it medium-rare! The vibrations are deep and penetrating, which I adore. I feel buzzy, high vibrations take me out of the mood more and tend to numb me down a bit, especially on the clitoris.

The bullet's located directly in the middle of the toy, providing great length of vibration both at the tip of the head and at the base of the balls. I loved that I could strap on the Bare As You Dare harness and position the Bad Boyz dong so that it perfectly buzzed on my clitoris while I pleased my partner. It is however, loud. The vibrations travel through the back of the toy to whatever surface you've placed it on, creating quite a racket. It's also pretty noisy inside, so if you're in a house full of people, you might wanna take this into the shower.

Speaking of the shower, you can only use this in the shower if the water isn't actually ON, or if you turn the shower on and place it on the wall, but as we all know—gotta save the earth and that method isn't doing it any favors. It's not waterproof in the least. There's a cord coming out of it, and I wouldn't suggest trying to just remove the battery pack and go at it in the tub unless you want to kill the toy. Fine by me though, because hey, it's your life and it works fantastically as a plain dildo anyhow.

It has a nice little battery pack at the end of the cord. The cord just plugs in and out of it, much like a pair of headphones. There's a little dial on the side that you roll up from off to on and back down to turn it off. It's supposed to give you multiple speeds, but I honestly could hardly tell the difference once it was inside me. I think there's basically just a low and a high setting, but both are pretty strong. I wouldn't recommend using the vibrations on this if you shy away from higher vibrations.

God, I must be getting you guys confused with all this vibration talk! Too high for most, but too low for the hardcore motherfuckers on fire? I know, I'm sorry. Let me try to simplify it. If you don't want legitimate vibrations that will rock you, don't buy this toy. If you want vibrations to bring the house down, don't buy this toy. If you like a good, medium rockin' toy, then this one's a great buy for you.

Capiche? Great! Moving on.

The only thing is that it's heavy. It comes in at about 1.5 pounds and on the Bare As You Dare harness, it droops a little. I'm sure that with a more sturdy harness, it wouldn't droop as much, but that was my experience. Just know that it's not a light fella. Don't expect it to be.

There is also the suction. It works... alright. I had some trouble getting it to stick to my wall, but with all things considered, I'm just an idiot and it's a popcorn wall anyway, alright? It placed securely on my wooden door, but was too loud there so I ended up just gluing it to the floor and having some fun. The floor's my staple spot now. It stays in place and up to tease. It's bendy yet firm, rigid but it's got give. It's really a wonderfully realistic toy that's sure to do you right.

It hasn't run out of batteries yet, but I haven't had it too long. I keep the batteries out of it when it's not in use, so I'll keep you guys updated in my follow up.

Meh. Rubber's not a great substance. It's extremely porous and doesn't clean well. The one thing you can do is put a condom over it. I suggest doing this with EACH and EVERY use. If you don't, I'd say it's comparable to shoving nonoxynol-9 into your crotch over and over. It's like a game of chicken with a yeast infection and your vagina's in the passenger seat weeping that she's too young to die.

I like to store this in its box, but I'm looking to move it since it's so.. conspicuous. More on that later, but this one's a pretty bad lint-lover, so keep it away from fuzzies.

Since this toy is rubber, it's okay for use with silicone and water lubricants.

This toy was packaged in a nice white box with the words, "BAD BOYZ KNOW HOW TO DO IT!!!" plastered over the top. I think Lawrence Fishburne was commissioned to pose nude on the front of the box. He's kneeling and trying to hide his identity by wearing horns, but since he's wearing the Matrix sunglasses in this picture, there's no fooling me. Can't thwart me again, Mr. Fishburne...

There's also a picture of the toy cropped onto the model in what looks to be MS Paint. The same picture is repeated on all sides of the box, with the logo and model standing by. There are no instructions to be seen, but I'm pretty sure it's easy to figure out how the toy works. It does mention that you shouldn't submerge it in water (A+ Cal Exotics!) and that it's made in America, which is actually nice to see.