I’m kind of a sucker for things that glow in the dark. From the stars you can put on your ceiling to glow sticks, neon, teddy bears, Frisbees…and yes, sex toys. I have a few of them, but none quite as large and impressive as the Emperor.

The Emperor is one of Cal Exotics’ Life-Like series (no, real penises don’t glow in the dark, but if there were a radiation spill or alien contamination…you never know – they might). It comes in a large cardboard box, with a picture of the toy on both the front and back and some product information on the sides. Inside, the Emperor comes sealed in a plastic bag.

There’s a reason for the plastic bag: this toy smells. It’s made of PVC, and while it’s phthalates-free, the rubber has a unique and fairly unpleasant scent. Airing it out helps some, but the smell will come back with a vengeance when you store it away, so you’ll want to seal it in a bag and keep it stored away from other items unless you want everything to acquire the scent (even if it's only temporarily). You’ll also want to wash your hands well after handling or they’ll have the odor as well. One thing that will help, particularly before use, is washing the Emperor in a scented antibacterial liquid soap, which will help mask the rubber odor. Once you slather on some lube, the smell will also be lessened. The Emperor should be washed both before and after use, then thoroughly dried before storing.

The material is porous, so if you plan to share use a condom. A glow-in-the-dark condom would be a fun choice, although you might at that point feel like you’re reenacting a scene from Skin Deep.

This isn’t a small dildo, but it's not overly large. The Emperor is 8” long, with 6 3/4" insertable. It has a nice 1 3/4" diameter, so it’s filling and comfortable to use without feeling like you’re stretching yourself. The scrotum has about a 3 1/2" diameter. Lube is necessary for a smooth and easy insertion, and only water-based lube should be used.

The Emperor is hand sculpted in yellow-green PVC, and it has a realistic appearance. The head is nicely detailed, as are the veins that run down the shaft, and the balls are large and easy to grip. The material is pretty firm, although it does have a bit of give, and the shaft is somewhat flexible. This dildo also has a suction cup, which is firmly attached to the base. The suction is strong, and the Emperor will stick to the shower wall or any flat, smooth surface for hands-free fun.

To make it glow, simply place the Emperor under a light source for a few minutes (a brighter light is best). Then, turn out the lights – the dildo will glow in that familiar yellow-green glow. It’s not extremely bright, but it is extremely cool. The effect will last around 10-15 minutes, with the Emperor slowly going dark as its luminescence fades.

It’s been a while since I had a new PVC toy, and I had forgotten just how bad they could smell. I was reminded pretty quickly. Washing it with scented soap helped, and the smell wasn’t so bad with lube, but may make it tricky to store this one if you don’t have space. I actually have a special storage box for toys like this (some of the UR3 and other skin-like materials have an interesting odor as well), and when they’re stored away in a bag, and then in their box, the smell doesn’t permeate the storage area or get into the air.

I like the size and shape of this dildo – it’s big without being huge, and since it has some give it’s not uncomfortable to use. The ball size is nice, as it gives me something to hold on to when thrusting. My husband likes the balls on this one also, since he could get a firm grip when pounding this into me.

The suction cup works well. Even though this dildo is a bit on the heavy side, the cup keeps it in place on the shower wall and even on smoothly tiled interior walls. It seems sturdy, and doesn't appear that it will rip off, at least not any time soon.

Of course, the real fun is playing with this in the dark, especially with other glowing toys. We don’t always play with all the lights off, but this does add an enjoyable element to it when we do!