MMmm...Johnny. Where do I begin? Seven inches from top to bottom, nearly 2 inches at its widest point around the tip, Vixen has created one supremely meaty and monstrous cock with Johnny. Its finger-print like swirls etched into its taut testicles, softly protruding veins and a carefully sculpted make it one of the most realistic and seductive dildos I have seen ever. Period. I haven't been this smitten by a dildo in quite some time, could you tell?

First, I'll get the technical stuff out of the way.

Vixen Creations' Johnny comes in two forms: Vixen's typically firm but yielding silicone, or Vixskin, which is a combination of a firm silicone core and a softer, squishier silicone exterior. Vixskin is meant to mimic a flesh-and-blood cock as closely as possible, and it certainly does that. However, I opted for the regular old single silicone instead because Vixskin can be a bit more vulnerable to tearing, and me? I'm not always the most gentle and caring toy owner. The choice between Vixskin and regular silicone really comes down to a few things: realism, budget and maintenance.

This toy is very easy to care for since it is not made from Vixskin, which as I said is a little more sensitive to rough use. Silicone is, of course, non-porous; microbes and little invisible nasties cannot be absorbed into your toy where they can breed and generally muck things up. This feature makes it a particularly good toy to use anally or to share, because the surface (where microbes can accumulate) can be easily sanitized with a 10% bleach solution or a 3-4 minute boil in hot water. For day to day cleaning, you can lather your dildo up with antibacterial soap and some warm water. This toy has no inherent smell or taste, but after a few uses (especially anally) it can pick up scents on its surface. The smell should largely dissipate, however, if left out in a ventilated area for 24-48 hours.

And now, back to your scheduled gushing over my love for this thing.

This was not love at sight. This is a very LARGE toy and not recommended for beginners, as you can probably tell from the video. I tend to reach for shorter and less girthy toys because I have a smaller frame and accommodating toys like Johnny is difficult for me. But of course, time after time, I am drawn to larger toys because of how thrilling the challenge of taking them on is. If you're looking for something to push your limits with this is definitely the toy for you. The large ball sack at the base of the toy makes it equally safe for vaginal and anal use, but in both cases I would highly recommend some kind of warm up first! There is absolutely no taper or easing into this; it's quite the opposite, in fact. The widest point of shaft is at the ridge on the head, measuring very nearly at 2" in diameter! So if you prefer smaller toys, or are simply new to penetration, I might recommend the Vixskin Goodfella instead.

But I did fall for Johnny. Why? Because every centimeter of it is immaculately crafted. The tiny little wrinkles around the head. The way the shaft slopes in this slow kind of way, drooping heavily and sleepily into the most delicious curve ever. The density and weight, the force of this thing! I feel like royalty when I pull him out of my bedside drawer (he hasn't yet made his way to the toy box yet, he's in too high a demand!) and that's why I love this toy. This kind of craftsmanship is fit for a queen (or king! or any nobility!) and that won me over in spite of the extreme size.

I'm sure you've gathered that Johnny is no minute man. When using this dildo, I make sure I have plenty of time, 45 minutes to an hour typically. I get fully undressed and touch my whole body, trace my fingertips along my breasts and stomach and thighs and get myself fully excited before I even think about grabbing a toy. I then like to move on to a little slow, teasing penetration with the Acute, which is also an amazing toy so I have to be careful not to get too excited. The joy of using Johnny is teasing myself, slowly working up to him, and not let myself climax with just one motion or just one toy. After the Acute has me warmed up and a bit dilated, expectant and wanting more, I move up to a larger dildo like the Leo, the Happy Valley Realistic or another medium-to-large sized dildo.

When I finally move on to Johnny, I am fully relaxed, very wet and very ready to take him. Slowly, with lots of water based lube, I ease the head in and rock him gently until I can feel myself approaching orgasm. At that point I am deep enough in the crazed trashing about of climaxing that I can thrust shallowly and not experience any pain. The only thing that bums me out about this cock is that it is MUCH too large to remove rapidly, so squirting is not really an option for me because I can't squirt with something obstructing my vagina. Still, I have wonderful, full and deep G-spot orgasms with this guy that are unlike any other. AWESOME, and so highly recommended! The only thing I don't love about Johnny is that I can't wear it with my Jaguar harness because the balls can't be strapped in.The Commando is a great option for those that wish to strap this in, however!

Have I told you lately that I fucking LOVE Johnny? Sometimes I wonder if I would love it more if it were Vixskin, but I am not the kind of person to go fixing things that aren't broken. This thing is HOLY CRAP HUGE and I can't use it regularly, but dear God above it takes all my self-restraint to not going tearing myself a new one by using this multiple days daily. Once I get it in, the overwhelming pressure on my G-spot makes me forget any of the discomfort associated with the intense stretching it is going to my inner labia and before I know it I am thrusting with a vigor that impresses me even still to this day. I never, ever thought I would be thrusting with this toy or with any of comparable size. But God. Fucking. Damn. This is amazing. Hands down favorite dildo until further notice. I can't imagine it getting better than this.

If you can handle the size GO GET THIS. NOW.