Great for the size queen in all of us!

I wish I could try it out because I enjoy weighty toys, but it's going to take a while for me to work up to it. Simply put, this is one of those toys I'm not sad about buying, I'm just sad I can't use it yet.
Published:
Pros
Very realistic, good suction cup, good weight.
Cons
Very big, dust magnet, that "sex toy" smell.
Rating by reviewer:
3
useful review

Use

This toy is most likely designed for vaginal use, although, like most phallic objects, it is also useful for anal use. Use at your discretion! Its options are almost unlimited! Use it by yourself by sticking it to a wall, use it with your partner and a harness, use it with your partner and without a harness, use it as a teaching aid, or stick it to your wall and use it as a coat hook!
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Everyone
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Tub/shower/pool

Material / Texture

The material is rubber and feels rubbery. Out of the packaging, it had a very strong "sex toy" odor, which kind of turned me off. I figured maybe it was packaging issue, and stuffed it into the small, soft bag that came with it (hooray for storage options) and put it away before dealing with it again.

After a while, it had lost a lot of the smell. The surface felt a bit sticky, like rubber, and the taste was almost like perfume.

The toy looks very realistic. From the blue sub-dermal veins to the wrinkly texture of parts, it looks very real. It feels very weighty, and aside from the stickiness, it also has the right feel to the surface and slightly-stiffer "springiness."

Because it's rubber, it has a lot of "nooks and crannies", and I will (be trying to) use it for anal play, I'm probably going to use a toy cover, or at least clean it REALLY WELL between uses.
    • Light odor
    • Somewhat porous

Design / Shape / Size

As I said, it looks very realistic. The only thing it's missing is a urethra which, for hygienic reasons, I'm glad it doesn't have.

It is, however, very large.

I guess I didn't really check the size descriptions on the page when I ordered it, but it is large. If you are not into large toys, just move on. If you like really big (but not freakishly large) toys, then this is for you.

Personally, I don't feel particularly qualified to review this toy completely yet because I'm not able to "properly use it," if you know what I mean.
    • Big
    • Realistic

Performance

Again, I feel like I can't yet do justice to this product since I can't properly use it.

It does have a suction cup which I tried out, and seemed to work pretty well. It works like any suction cup, and held pretty strongly. It should stand up to the rigors of solo play pretty well.
    • Easy to use

Care and Maintenance

This toy should be washed and dried before and after every use.

I want to emphasize that when I say before and after, I mean both before AND after.

This toy has a lot of little wrinkles and crevices where stuff can get caught if it isn't properly cleaned. It also attracts dust and lint better than any cleaning cloth/device I've ever used. I wish they would come out with a sweeper made out of these rubber dicks. My house would be spotless. From the time I stuck it (fresh from the package) into its soft bag to when I pulled it out about an hour or so later, it had grabbed every speck of dust in my toy chest.

So unless you like having dirty toys and having them transfer the gunk to you, please wash this toy before and after use.

As far as storage goes, I have it in the soft bag it came in and then tucked into my toy chest with my other toys. Keep it away from extreme temperature, etc., etc., and you should be fine.
    • Easy to store

Experience

I can't yet say anything about the experience. The toy is simply too big for me right now. Maybe by the time I write my next review I'll have worked up to it, but right now, I can't say anything about it.
This product was provided at a discounted price in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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This review was edited by
  • Do emu Contributor: Do emu
  • Rank:
    5.6 / 10
  • Edited reviews: 214
Comments
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  • Contributor: Do emu
    I loved the part about the sweeper made of rubber dicks!

    I hope you're able to use this toy eventually. Reviews are most helpful when the user has used the toy already. We'll be waiting for your follow up!
  • Contributor: Allstars316
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: kandy anjel
    great review thank you for sharing
  • Contributor: SecretKinksters
    Thanks for the review
  • Contributor: PizzaSlut
    Thanks for the review
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