I've finally become jaded. After a plethora of impressive glass toys, my standards for glass have been raised quite a bit. A pretty piece of glass is not enough to turn me into a blubbering idiot anymore. I expect serious function. Texture, perhaps, or an innovative shape. Especially if a toy is priced up the wazoo like this one is.

Unfortunately, although the Dual sided swirled rib appears to be unique in its shape, that uniqueness does not translate to its function. Not enough, at least.

It feels nice, as nice as glass always feels. Using it the traditional way (holding the bulb at the end), the middle bulb massages the opening of my vagina well. Using it the other way, the slightly larger bulb massages my G-spot a little. But nothing spectacular. And twisting the dildo does nothing in terms of stimulation. I thought it would, because of the swirled texture, but it just feels like any other straight-shafted glass toy. Disappointing.

I'm also docking some points on this one because it's too thin. About 3/4" in diameter at its thinnest points. I want a little more than that.

Because of the swirls, manual cleaning is a little tricky. But, as with all glass, it can be easily sterilized by wiping (then rinsing!) with a 10% bleach solution, or boiling it, or putting it in the top rack of the dishwasher with no soap. I don't share my glass toys, so I just use the old fingernail to dig into the swirls when I clean this one with soap and water.

Oh, and it came with Phallix's telltale thin satin drawstring bag. This one was a shade of soft sky blue, with white lace. It may be the nicest color of telltale thin satin drawstring bag I've received, but that doesn't help it protect my dildo any more. I wish Phallix would try a little harder and realize that for this kind of money, a padded bag should be included.

In the end, this is just a mediocre glass dildo masquerading as a highly-stimulating glass dildo. Glass, stop being a slacker and get off my couch.