It was when my package arrived from Eden Fantasys that I realized I had seriously underestimated the size of the Double Trouble Thick - the parcel I signed for was big, and long, and heavy. And the reason for that became clear once I got it home and opened it up - because the Double Trouble Thick inside my parcel was big and long and heavy, with it's plastic and cardboard packaging adding very little to the overall weight.

While everyone knows that old saw about your eyes being larger than your stomach - a truism which gets me in trouble at the smorgasbord restaurant now and then - it seems my eyes are also larger than my cunt. As I unwrapped the bubblegum-pink double-ended dildo and gripped it in one hand, I wondered how I would ever fit one end of it inside me. Or, for that matter, maneuver myself so the other end could be inside my girlfriend.

However. This double-ended dong|Double trouble thick - Double ended dildo by Doc Johnson is a pretty damned flexible toy. Made of 'Silagel' (a silicone-jelly composite), Doc Johnson guarantees that it is non-toxic, phthalate, latex and cadmium-free, and anti-bacterial. It's also bendy, smells like the bubble-gum shade it sports, and is most definitely 'thick', as advertised. This beast of a dildo - which Demeter and I promptly nick-named the Hubba-Bubba - is 14 inches end to end, and (having dug out the ruler) about 1.5 inches in diameter. I highly recommend getting out your (water-based) lubricant!

When I tried this toy out solo, I was unable to insert it very far, or very comfortably, and when I tried inserting it in Demeter, her reaction was much the same. However, using it - as intended - for partner play, we both enjoyed it more. While there are up to six inches each end that are insertable , we both found that only having an inch or two inside was more pleasurable, as it provided good pressure against the entry to the vaginal canal. Those who are used to larger toys, cocks, or fists may enjoy taking in more, but that's up to you!

The Double Trouble Thick is also fun for scaring folk, especially when thwacked it into the palm of your hand (it makes a meaty, heavy noise). This is not a toy you'd want to pervert into a paddling or spanking object, as a serious hit with it would likely break bones. If you ever wondered how it was possible to beat someone to death with a dildo, a la Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels? Likely it was as heavy as this.

The only downside about the Double Trouble is that is does not taste pleasant! Keep this toy for genital play rather than oral - or for chasing people around the bed with it.