Okay... let's be honest. This vibrator is outrageous! It looks like it should be in the back room of a porn set. It smells like a failed Bath and Body Works scent. And it vibrates like the Devil's own concubine. That said, it's become one of my all-time favorites, and here's why...

The curve, length, hardness, girth, and placement of the two (yes, two) vibrating eggs in this beauty have brought me literal hours of exploratory sexual epiphanies. The material is a bit weird to get used to because it doesn't bend or give at all, but with a water-based lubricant (like Maximus or Astroglide), it feels great. It took me a little while to get used to the girth and hardness, but with enough lubrication and dedication, I've found that nearly anything fits. Also, I've learned that the stiffness of the Crystalessence material became one of the greatest assets of this vibrator because once you find the right spot that brings the most pleasure, this puppy won't slip, bend, wiggle, or shy out of place. There's a really lovely pronounced 'vein' that runs on the underside (with lots of extra texture around the rest of it), and I find that the texture is really delightful once you're already stimulated... It helps to rub firmly against all the little folds, nooks and crannies that usually don't receive the attention they deserve. The exaggerated curvature and giant head are absolutely perfect for stimulating the g-spot, not to mention, the egg that's located on the top of the curve is so delicious for helping that stimulation right along! The other egg is closer to the tip, and when it starts zinging after being pushed all the way in, it has my walls (along with the rest of me) spasming in pre-orgasmic pleasure. You can also just insert the head and angle it so the tip vibrates against the g-spot. That's definitely one of my favorite sensations... being solidly stretched and having my g-spot relentlessly vibrated... It's a guaranteed gush (or three).

What I had a more difficult time overcoming was the smell. I'm normally fairly open to new smells, but this one was just too overpowering and weird. It took many washings to tame the bizarre olfactory offense, but I finally managed to get it down to a tolerable level after many vigorous antibacterial cleanings. (Either that, or else, I just got used to it, without noticing). At any rate, what's happened since then, is that I've developed a twisted Pavlovian response to the scent. Whenever I catch a waft of that fake cherry-rubber smell, my walls start contracting in anticipation. I still haven't decided if that's a personal victory or a cause for unmitigated shame, yet that's all part of the attraction to this toy. It keeps you guessing, while providing unique, new experiences and fueling one's imagination. That's why I've never gotten bored after 2 years of proud ownership.

The control is very easy to use... just twist the cap for more power. And I'm amazed at the level of power that comes from just two AA batteries that it takes. Also, the batteries seem to last quite a while, so this guy gets high marks for energy efficiency. I have noticed, though, that the cap can come open easily if you turn it all the way up to the highest speed. It's easily overcome, but has taken a bit of getting used to and earned more than a few colorful expletives from me.

The Crystalessence material this realistic vibrator|Cherry scented vibro-dong is made from is very non-porous and easy to care for with cleaning regularly before and after every use with soap and water. It can withstand a variety of lubrications, as well, including water/oil/silicone-based lubes|Lubricants.

I'm not sure if it's waterproof, though. I haven't tried it yet, other than to clean. I'm assuming it's not, as the battery compartment doesn't have any water-proofing.