My first experiment with carrying around my own penis around my hips ended in a bruised clitoris. I just wanted to be able to fuck my boyfriend properly, was that too much to ask? So it was settled that I needed to find a good, solid harness to which I could attach a tried and true piece of faux-manmeat. I came up with a checklist of things that my ideal harness would have. As it turns out, the Driver harness by Aslan Leather was a near perfect match to my high standards for girl-with-dildo-on-boy action.

1. Harness must make me look hot.

No worries here. This harness is made of delicious black leather and sits invitingly on the hips. The double-straps frame the buttocks. The front of the harness positions the dildo such that, when adjusted properly, said dildo juts out just about where your penis would be. This harness isn't as fancy-looking as some other (studded, glittery) harnesses, but it looks chic in its plain black nonetheless.

2. Harness must fit correctly.

The double straps in the back and the strap that goes around the hips are adjustable through four D-rings. It can fit a wide range of juiciness, but it also doesn't penalize smaller folks. I'm a size 6, and the harness fit like a charm. Once the straps were adjusted to the proper length, I was able to take it off and put it on again like a pair of panties without needing to fiddle with the strap length.

3. Harness must accommodate most dildos I own.

All the dildos that my boyfriend considers worthy of his bum are of a certain girth. The Driver harness comes with a 1 7/8" ring that can stretch to 2". Although it can be exchanged for other rings, the one the Driver comes with is perfect for most dildos we own.

To load a dildo into the harness, simply undo one of the metal snaps that hold the ring in place and thread the dildo head-first through the ring. When the ring comes to the base, slip the metal snap back through and close it. The harness does have an issue with toys with larger bases. For example, the Mantoy's base is a little bulky and can only be attached to the harness when it is turned sideways.

4. Harness must make fucking the boyfriend easier.

Here we ran into a little trouble, though it was mostly due to my inexperience. I am a great deal smaller than my boyfriend, so it was difficult to find a position that gave me access to his bum while allowing me enough leverage to lay into him like he wanted. To its credit, the harness did everything it could to make the process smoother. It held the dildo close to me throughout our trials and the straps did not slip from their desired lengths.

However, perhaps because of the curved shape of the dildo we had chosen to use, or the strain of the position we settled on (he lay on his stomach and I lay on his back, using my knees as leverage), the dildo tugged the harness north so that the base of the dildo dug into my pubic bone as I thrust into my boyfriend. When we were done and I took the harness off, I noted a deep imprint of the circles from the harness surrounding my clit, which was, thankfully, unmashed.

5. Harness must be easy to care for.

Obviously you can't toss a harness in a boiling pot of water and hope for it to be sanitized. For anyone who isn't sure how to properly clean a leather harness, there's a helpful information tag attached to the harness that you may want to remove before using. To clean off bodily fluids, use a wet rag and mild soap to wipe the soiled area and then use a fresh towel to wipe it clean. Never submerge leather in water! I prefer to hang it off the boyfriend's bookshelf for residual moisture to dry off, and then store it in a cool, shady place. Leaving it out in the sun and heat is not recommended.

So all in all, the Driver was a nice harness. It was of sturdy make, came packaged in a simple plastic baggie, and performed as well as it could. Any problems I had with the harness was the fault of my inexperience. It made me look hot, fit me and most of our applicable toys, and tried to make me less of an amateur in the sack. I wouldn't say it was a snap to clean, but it's not too much of a hassle. I'd recommend it to anyone looking for a good, reliable harness without the bells and whistles of some fancier harnesses.

So I didn't get such a thrill out of our pegging forays with this harness, but my boyfriend loved it. We tried a few positions--missionary, doggy style--before we decided to cancel out the height difference by lying on top of each other like downward-facing spoons. This position let me hit his P-spot with every thrust (of course, the curve of the dildo helped with that too). He was writhing and making the hottest noises I've heard from him since he told me he'd cook and clean for me for the rest of our lives. The pleasure I got from his positive reactions were more than enough to compensate for the discomfort I was receiving from the dildo's base digging into my pubic bone.