One thing I love about my relationship is my boyfriend’s openness to role reversal. While I am usually the one on the bottom and the submissive end, he enjoys the occasions that I turn the tables on him. I’ve always had the fantasy of bending over my partner, with the power and tools to penetrate. After talking with my boyfriend about the possibilities, to my surprise, he agreed to try fulfilling my fantasies.

I knew that I needed a harness and strap-on a dildo in order to penetrate. With great confidence, I set out to search for the perfect tools. The moment I started my quest, I was swarmed with a sea of dildos and harness. I realized that buying a harness and dildo can be a serious monetary investment. A harness can easily cost over 100 dollars, and there are many dildos of different material and size. While wanting to explore new sexual options, I was not ready to commit to it. Then the Bend Over Beginner Kit from Tantus came into my view. It was a simple kit with a harness, 2 dildos and the option to have a vibrator inside the harness while penetrating my partner all for less than 80 dollars. It was an obvious choice for me.

The kit comes with 2 different sizes of dildos. I knew instantly that the smaller size would be petite enough to be non-threatening to my boyfriend. I liked the idea of having a vibrator inside the harness against my clit; it would add additional excitement for me during the process. What’s more, the harness comes with 2 sizes of O-rings that in case we become more advanced users, we could simply get new dildos we like to try.

The individual parts of the kit can also be used separately. The harness can be used with other penetrating or packing dildos. The bullet vibrator can be used for pleasure against erogenous zones over your body. The dildos can be used with or without a harness to penetrate your partner anally and vaginally.

While the kit is a Tantus product, the harness is made by Sportsheets. The padding that holds the O-ring is made of velvety material. You can feel foam inside the velvety fabric to make it comfortable against the skin. The straps are made of nylon. While they are not soft, they are also not too harsh. They are the type of nylon straps you can normally find on backpacks. The buckles used to extend the straps are made of plastic. There are 4 metal buttons that pin together the straps to hold the rubber O-ring. There’s no weird odor to the harness.

The bullet is distributed by B.M.S. Enterprises. It is made of hard plastic with a layer of silver paint over it. There is a black rubber O-ring around the enclosure area that enables it to be waterproof, and a black rubber on-off button at the end. The plastic has some frosted texture over it. You can smell plastic if you hold the bullet close to your nose. My biggest concern with this bullet is the potential paint falling off. I don’t want plastic paint over my erogenous zones.

The two dildos are made by Tantus. They are the Small Silk and Medium Silk models. Made of 100% medical grade silicone, the dildos are hypo-allergenic, latex free, non-porous and phthalates free. They have no weird taste or smell and are very smooth. While the material is firm enough for penetration, it has no rough edges to make the experience uncomfortable. They are also pretty bouncy; when I shake my hip, the dildos become wobbly. It always makes me giggle when I see the dildos wobble around.

The harness comes with adjustable straps to accommodate users of different sizes. Four straps gather together through the front panel to hold the O-ring in place. Each strap loops around the O-ring then back to itself, secured together by metal buttons. The harness is well-made overall. I can see no loose threads and the stitches around the straps are firm. I feel comfortable pulling on things and not worry about it breaking. The buttons however, can be hard to clasp together and pull apart. Changing the O-ring can sometimes hurt my hands because of this.




The pocket for the bullet is long and deep. You can interchange the bullet with other bullets if you wish. The button on the bullet seems flimsy and can be hard to push.

There are slight curves on the dildos designed to stimulate the g-spot or p-spot. You might want to play with the positioning of the dildos to make sure they are curving the right way. For example, in missionary position, I would have to point the curve upward to hit my boyfriend’s p-spot. In doggie position, I would have to point the curve downward to do the same.

Both dildos come with a big, flared base. This makes them ideal for anal sex. You don’t have to worry about the toy getting trapped inside the anus resulting in the infamous embarrassing trip to the ER!

The front panel on the harness that holds the dildo is of the shape of an isosceles triangle with rounded corners pointing downward. The base of the triangle is 7 inches long, and the 2 equilateral sides are 5.5 inches long.

I tried to extend the harness as far as I could. The hip band extends up to 64 inches, and the strap that goes around leg/crotch area extends up to 33 inches. The harness is designed to fit people that are much bigger than me. Theoretically, the flexibility in size is great, but I end up with a lot of extra straps with nowhere to tag or fold them. It can become rather hazardous during sex; it’s easy to trip over all the straps.



With flexibility in mind, Tantus included 2 O-rings with inner diameters of 1 ¼” and 1 ½” to fit different sizes of dildos. Of course, in case the 2 O-rings don’t accommodate your needs, you can always buy more O-rings of other sizes. Because the four straps that hold the O-ring in place take up some inner room, you might want to plan on using the 1 ¼” ring for dildos that are 1” max in diameter, and 1 ½” for dildos that are 1 ¼” max in diameter.

Size of the bullet:
Length: 2 1/4"
Width: 5/8”
Circumference/Girth: 2 1/8”
The bullet is of the right size to nestle in the pocket inside the front panel of the harness.




Size of the dildos:

Small silk
Length:4 3/4"
Insertable length:4 1/4"
Circumference:2 1/4"
Diameter:3/4"
Diameter of the base:2 1/4"
0.2lbs

The Small Silk is slightly thicker than my middle finger. That’s a good size for a beginner to get used to penetrations without the sharp fingernails. It is very non-threatening for us.

Medium Silk
Length:6"
Insertable length:5 1/2"
Circumference:4"
Diameter:1 1/4"
Diameter of the base: 2 1/2"
0.4 lbs

The Medium Silk is slightly thicker than 2 of my fingers. It’s a logical size up from the Small Silk. Neither of the dildos is large, they are good for beginners to enjoy and potentially work their way up to something bigger.

Putting the harness on is fairly easy once you know which strap goes where. You want to put your legs through the big waistband first, then put your right leg through the right loop, and left leg into the left loop. Pull up the harness like you would pull up a pair of underwear. Then tighten the straps by pulling them through the plastic buckles. The straps can be easily adjusted so that the dildos could aim at different angles. I try to pull the panel higher for doggie positions, and let it stay low for missionary positions. To have firm control of the dildo, I need to pull the straps really tight against my body.The straps are not chafing my skin but it does leave red marks because how tight I have to pull the straps together.

Vibration from the bullet is buzzy as opposed to rumbly. This means that the vibration has a very high frequency, yet small amplitude. Personally I prefer vibrations with not necessarily high frequency, but large amplitude. The pocket on the harness to hold the bullet is elongated throughout the triangle. I can thread the bullet through the pocket into a position directly against my clit. It’s a very snug fit, so there’s no worry about it slipping up or down. Even though the position is desirable, right now the bullet creates more of a tease for me when wearing the harness because of the buzzy vibration. It is not enough to get me to orgasm.

The bullet is powered by 3 watch cell batteries. As with all vibrators that run on watch batteries, you should try run it for 20 minutes or less at a time, otherwise the batteries may overheat and wear out more quickly than they should. Personally I really don’t like toys that use watch batteries. They are expensive and tend to run out of juice quickly. Since the bullet was pre-loaded with batteries, I will be using it until the batteries run out then replace it with something more practical.

The dildos are looped through the O-ring with the base against the triangular panel. Since they are made of silicone, water-based lube is great for them. In addition to how smooth they are, lube makes it even easier to slide them in and out of your partner’s body.

The easiest thing to care for in this kit is the harness. It is machine washable, hence getting lube or bodily fluid on it is not a big concern. You can just toss the harness into the wash machine whenever it gets dirty. It can be stored in a toy drawer or container in your bedroom for easy access.

The dildos however are harder to clean. One of my biggest peeves is getting lint all over my toys. Those silicone dildos attract a lot of lint, and that can be a big turn off. I’ve developed a routine with them to minimize lint. It’s important that after you wash them, they are left alone to be air dried. After they are dried, store them in a zip-lock bag for future use. If you are in a hurry to use them, it can be tricky. Wiping the dildos dry with towel and tissue will cause them to gather a lot of lint, so clean and store them ahead of use if you hate to see your toys full of lint. They are also boilable and dish washer safe in case you want to give them a more thorough clean.

The bullet is plastic. It is waterproof and non-porous so you can wash it underwater with soap. Since it uses watch batteries, you will want to take out the battery after use, and store it separately to extend battery life.

The kit comes in a plastic box. The dildos, harness and bullet nest in a plastic molding inside the box. The bullet is wrapped in a layer of soft clear plastic, and there’s a rubber band that holds together all the straps connected to the harness. The box and molding are transparent. You can see a piece of cardboard inside the box that includes some basic information and a picture of the kit. With the picture of the harness and dildo being visible to anyone, the packaging is not discreet. However, it’s fancy enough to give as a present to someone close.

The kit came with no instructions. Figuring out how to fit the harness took a while since there are so many straps around. Eventually with his help, we got it work. I really didn’t like the bullet. It was loud compared to my other vibrators and the vibration was too buzzy for me to be comfortable. The solution was easy: I can either not use a bullet, or use a bullet of my liking.

There are just an abundance of straps. I think after the review, I will try to cut some of the straps off, and melt the end with a lighter to make sure the straps don’t fall apart. I’ve gotten better at dealing with lint on the dildos; giving it time to air dry really eliminated a lot of it. I enjoy how petite the Small Silk is, it really is non-threatening.

I am rating the kit 4 stars because of the frustration I had dealing with the straps, bullet and the lint magnet dildos. It was overall a fun kit for us.