In this corner weighing it at an ungodly 5 pounds (NOTE: Weight is actually around a pound, but it seems like more) is the Big One. A solid piece of purple Crystalessence (aka PVC) just waiting for you. Inflexible in every way and about as big around as a pop can. It's not just big... it's HUGE.

In the other corner... me. Flesh and bones. Armed with nothing but time and a bottle of lube.

I'll admit that initially I was intimidated by my opponent. It just stood there all huge and solid. My poor pussy wanted to run and hide. But I was on a mission. I was going to beat this thing if it was the last thing I did. I knew this wasn't going to be a quick fight and it wasn't going to be painless. It was going to take some time and lots of lube.

I started with my usual warm-up, a clit vibrator. I then brought out the dildos, starting with the smallest and working my way up. Soon it was time for the main even. I greased up the Big One with copious amounts of lube. Then did the same to myself. I tried to conquer it laying on my back but both the size and weight proved unwieldy.

I next attempted to attack my opponent from above. I knelt over the dildo while it was firmly planted on the floor. I eased myself down little by little. I got most of the head inside me then had to cry uncle. It wasn't going to happen, not tonight.

A few days later came round 2. I made a little more progress. Round by round, after a few weeks and a couple bottles of lube, I made a little more headway. Then in round 6... Triumph! I was able to take most of it, although it was not a painless experience. But at least I can say I finally beat Tera Patrick's Big One.

The Big One is hard and unyielding which makes for a slightly awkward experience. It is also oval shaped so it does go in easier (I use the term loosely) one way than it does the other. I had to turn it sideways for it to fit. I don't bounce on it or pump it. I simply take what I can, enjoy the feeling of being stretched and full. I add a clit vibe and I'm usually cumming within a minute.

Clean-up is easy, washing it with hot water and antibacterial toy cleaner before and after each use. It tends to collect lint and dust so I wash it often.

I wanted a big dildo, something to make me feel full and stretched and I found that in the Big One. The only thing I would have changed was for it to have a little more give to it. It's too stiff.