I love having a hard cock of my own, but have no desire to change my own anatomy, so my best option is a great strap on! I have used the Ultra Harness 3000 on women and men in a variety of positions and acts. While it is moderately functional, the shortcomings have left me in desperate need of a better strap on harness and my partners craving better action.

The Ultra Harness 3000 is made of stiff leather which doesn’t seem to relax very quickly. The harness can fit someone with up to a 44inch waist, but I find it uncomfortable with my narrow waist and wide hips. I needed to tighten all the straps past my comfort level to have any control of the attached dildo. The stiff leather straps chaffed, particularly the G-string portion. The buckles have held so far, but appear cheap, and caused minor skin reactions on me, particularly during vigorous, sweat-drenched sex. The triangle panel’s stiffness resulted in minor raw spots at the juncture of my thighs and hips. The open crotch isn’t very effective because the leather doesn’t flex enough to arrange around my girly bits but isn’t stiff enough to provide consistent stimulation. The manufacture suggests an additional dildo could be attached via this opening or a man’s penis could be threaded through if he wore the harness. I have tried both options and neither my boyfriend nor I was satisfied with the results.

While the materials of the Ultra Harness 3000 were displeasing, I would find fixes if it functioned well. Unfortunately, the construction makes the harness difficult to use for penetrative sex and switching dildos, while more convenient than a ring system, is pretty inefficient. I was able to insert a phalanged dildo through the reinforced opening, but couldn’t tighten the harness enough to give the dildo any support, so it had to be held constantly during use. Of course, one of the features of this harness is the Vacu-lock system. This harness has 4 metal snaps that hold an additional piece of leather, with a plug, in place. The plug is inserted through the reinforced opening, and the snaps held the Vacu-lock phalange securely to the harness. The Vacu-lock dildo (not included) is slid onto the plug. According to the packaging, some dildos may also be secured using the Velcro, but I have not attempted this. I had problems getting some Vacu-lock dildos to seat securely on the plug, but once the dildo is fully seated, it stays very secure, and can be difficult to remove.

I wanted a strap on to penetrate my partners orally, vaginally, and anally. Ideally, I would be able to use the strap on in a variety of positions, a range of tempos, and at least somewhat roughly. I found the Ultra Harness 3000 was not adequate. A mounted dildo projects straight forward and has no ability to flex into any real angle, greatly limiting positions and making thrusting difficult in many positions. Missionary position and sitting positions were very difficult. Doggie style and legs over shoulders were a bit more manageable. I did not find any positions where vigorous, rough thrusting was really viable; I couldn’t minimize the movement of the front triangle of the harness enough to really control the dildo. I also needed to stiffen my back in a very unnatural way to provide adequate stimulation to my partner which caused cramps in the muscles midway up my back. Shorter dildos (less than 7 inches) were difficult to maintain penetration with during thrusting in any position (again, thrusting more with back movements than ass movements due to the lack of angle of the dildo.) I found, at times, to get adequate control and penetration with sufficient thrusting, I would have to hold the harness front (the mounting plate for the dildo) with my hand. Finally, thrusting provided no actual stimulation for me when I was wearing it.

I selected a vacu-lock system in hopes of changing dildos during play, but I found the Vacu-lock system created some problems. I had to handle the harness enough that it became messy with lubricants. Removing the dildo required a decent amount of force, and was, at times, nearly impossible to apply given the angle the dildo was mounted on my body. Transitions between dildos were not smooth, so the system did not provide any major advantage over a ring system. I also had concerns when I found body fluids on the plastic plug of the Vacu-lock system after a heavy session, contaminating the plastic plug and the leather behind the dildo, despite condom usage.

Quick tips: if you have big hips and a narrow waist, the front panel may stay loose regardless of snugging. I found that a wash cloth or two behind the panel helped keep the dildo manageable. The most effective way to remove the dildo from the Vacu-lock plug is to gently break the seal with a nail, applying pressure along the length of the plug (if you try to pull out away from the plug you might break a nail) while wiggling it with the other hand. Wearing a snug pair of boy shorts panties under the harness can reduce chaffing (and you can slip a vibrating bullet into the sweet spot to make the action more fun for the wearer.)