My partner and I chose the Bend Over Harness Kit by Tantus|Bend over beginner harness kit as our first experience with a strap-on|How to choose a harness and strap-on that's right for you about three years back. It has the benefit of being an all inclusive package with harness, two changeable o-rings, two dongs, and a vibrating bullet (batteries included).

The first time we used it was a disaster. I had never wielded a cock before, and she had never fucked one; the dildo kept falling out and we fumbled and giggled and gave up. Unexpectedly, on our second try, everything fell into place and I still wonder just how we failed so miserably that first time. So, if for some reason this isn’t just right the first go, chances are it will get better.

The two different sized dildos worked perfectly. My partner was new to penetration at the time and the smaller dildo, only a little thicker than a finger, was a perfect starting point. I know this kit is intended for beginners to anal sex, but it worked wonderfully for someone new to vaginal intercourse as well.

Over time we moved on to the second dong—and this one is still her favorite for me to fuck her with, even years and many toys later. The dildos themselves are made of a silky feeling silicone and come in a really happy purple color. They are quite flexible and have a curve that’s not overwhelming- just enough to hit that sweet-spot. Made of silicone, they are very easy to clean and they don’t attract lint like crazy like some materials.

The nylon harness is very comfortable with plenty of room to fit nearly any hip size. After three years of use, the straps are still in great shape and as wet as things can get, the metal snaps haven’t rusted. The velvet in the front feels wonderful against my mons, but being fabric, it does tend to get dirty easily. The straps aren’t too complicated, but they’re nothing you can throw on in the dark without practice. I still stand there going, “Okay, which leg goes in what loop?” They adjust well and give great control and movement.

The bullet doesn’t get used anymore in our bedroom. The batteries kicked out after only a few uses and I haven’t bothered to find replacements. Its vibration, though strong on its own, was muted when inside the convenient pocket in the harness and didn’t do much for me. However, the harness fits low on my hips and the dildo’s base moves right against my clit and can bring me to orgasm, especially with my partner riding me. I find that I prefer to use the harness without the velvet because it allows more contact with the dildo’s base and my clit. Also, this allows us to strap in our double-sided toys|Double Dildo Sex Toys.

I’d recommend this kit for anyone looking to try out strap-on play for the first time: it comes with everything, and later you can always incorporate more advanced, o-ring compatible toys.