Theo, by SpareParts is a leather-free, thong style harness for strap-on play. Perfect for both beginners and experienced harness users, it's most frequently used by, (though not necessarily aimed towards) couples. Because it's made of fabric, it can be used underwater and by multiple partners, since you can sterilize it and don't have to worry as much about fluids intermingling.

Made of nylon and spandex, this both looks and feels like swimsuit fabric--which means it's extremely soft and extremely comfortable. The fabric means that it's fairly form fitting and adjustable to every body type--and the supreme adjustability of the harness itself lends itself well to this! The material has never made me feel hot, sweaty or uncomfortable the way leather can when you're rocking and rolling.

Please bear in mind that Theo also has some metal portions, so if you have material sensitivities please be ware of that!

Theo is designed as a thong, which makes it good for people who aren't fans of the more traditional butt-hugging harnesses. Because it's thong style, you lose a lot of the access you'd normally have with a harness to the naughty bits under the harness, since it covers both the vaginal opening and the anus.

The front of the harness has the Spareparts Hardwear logo in silver screenprint--from past experiences with my Spareparts Joque, that will crack and peel in time, but you'll remember who made the harness, I bet! Directly below the logo is the O-ring. You insert the dildo though the O-Ring, and then you can either adjust the cloth portion on the inside of the harness to cover the base of the dildo or not. I must warn you, DO NOT LEAVE YOUR DILDOS IN THE HARNESS. Doing that can and will stretch out the O-Ring, which means you won't be able to use smaller dildos as easily as they won't be held in place as well. I know Spareparts told me this, but I didn't listen because I thought I knew ~*soooo*~ much more than they did about how to maintain my harness... I was wrong, and my harness is paying the price and my Theo has become the harness for size queens.

Theo has a lot of other awesome features--like all the pockets. The front of the harness has two pockets for bullet vibrators--that will provide stimulation to both you and your partner if you insert two bullets in there--and just about any standard size bullet will fit in! Theo also has a storage pocket on the thong portion of the vibrator that closes with a snap--big enough for a condom, some chapstick, a small sample of lube... Lots of stuff! Right below that is another pocket (not closed with a snap) where you can store more stuff. I'd not recommend storing your wallet, keys, cell phone and extra lotion in there, because it'll start to sag, but it's good for a spare condom. Spare parts indeed.

Theo comes in two different sizes, the standard and the large (size A and B in the chart below, which is the manufacturer's sizing information.]


It's pretty easy to put on and adjust; just loosen the straps and step in--you can adjust the fit in almost every way possible. The first way to adjust the harness--and perhaps most important is the waist straps; this is how you adjust the fit around your hips/waist to get it seated properly, and that's velcro based, though there are pull straps to get an even better fit in certain areas. Also important is thong length; this matters if you want it to sit lower or higher--and they include another ring (you can see it in the Eden pictures hooked on the waist) which is used to extend the thong length if you'd like more room down there. If you have no use for it, you can just store it in the included pouch Spareparts gives you for storage.

I'm not going to pretend it didn't take me a while to get it fitted properly the first time I wore it, but after you've got it set up to the way it's meant to fit you won't ever have to set it up again. It's much easier (and much more fun!) to get everything oriented properly if you've got a helping hand to provide assistance and incentive when needed.

Thanks to Theo, I know now that I don't love thong style harnesses--but it was very comfortable! The complete customizability of Theo means that even if I don't love it, almost any of my friends, or future partners, can use this harness and customize it to their body so it fits perfectly. It's easy to adjust, and very easy to use a dildo inside.

No matter what dildo I had in there, I found that the harness stayed in place where it belonged--it never rode down or slid even if the dildo was heavy--and I could move the harness so that it was positioned where it was most comfortable for me.

Because Theo is fabric based, you can clean it by hand washing in the sink, or washing it in a washing machine (gentle cycle only, warm water) with similar colours. Don't use bleach or fabric softener, or Bad Things Will Happen, though I'm not entirely sure what, since the care instructions don't specify. The care instructions also specify you should lay flat to dry or tumble dry on a low temperature--though I hang dry mine so I don't have the tragic end of a harness thanks to melting in my dryer. Plus, putting metal in the dryer just sounds like a poor choice.

Theo comes packaged in a very classy black box, and comes with a black storage pouch of the same material as the harness; this makes it super easy to store, and extremely discreet.

This product was provided free of charge to me in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines. But, honestly, I'd write a glowing review even if I'd paid for it because it's awesome.