The SpareParts Joque harness replaced an ancient nylon mess, with scratchy straps and rusted snaps.

The nylon mess was about a fifth of the price of the Joque, so you'd better believe I had some high expectations. I was hoping this would be buttery-soft, at that price, with a perfect fit.

I was pleased to discover that the material feels higher-quality than the loosely-woven bathing suits I remember as a child, where sitting by the side of the pool pulled the material and ruined the suit. This material is a bit denser, which makes me think it will stand the test of time better than any of my old bathing suits.

While the harness isn't ugly, it also doesn't have the sex appeal of a fancy leather and metal harness. What it does have, of course, is superior ease of cleaning. No need to cure the leather--just throw it in the washer! This is a great choice for poly couples, or anyone else who wants risk-free play, as leather is porous and not washable. Another advantage of the Joque over leather is that you can take this bad boy into the pool, Jacuzzi, ocean, or local swimmin' hole!

I was impressed by the elegant packaging. The Joque comes in a blank, high-quality black gift box with a printed sleeve around it. The front of the narrow sleeve shows part of a skinny Caucasian woman wearing a Joque and says, "JOQUE Harness. SPAREPARTS HARDWARE. Don't be caught without a spare." One side has sizing information. The other displays care information, and contacts for SpareParts HardWare. The back has a smartphone barcode, a picture of a woman's butt wearing a thong and harness, and the following text: "The Joque, sexy and versatile... it's the only harness you will ever need! Two strap jockey style harness. Handcrafted from high quality fabric, designed to last. Lightweight, breathable, suitable for extended wear, perfect for packing. Stretchable O-ring that fits dildos of different sizes. Works with single and double dildos. Two internal pockets above and below the O-ring for mini bullet vibes. Adjustable and comfortable leg straps and belt. Washable and fully hygienic."

This style, "size a," fits anyone with a 20" to 50" waist. There is a "size b" available, fitting up to a 65" waist. I fall on the low end of 20-50" and have no problem fitting this. It's simple to adjust compared with my cheapo beginners' harness. You can just slip this on right out of the box--just adjust as you climb into it. For those of us closer to 20 than 50 inches around, there is a lot of leftover strap, and it just folds underneath itself. It isn't uncomfortable, but I am conscious that it is there. It is not really like a second skin, and is a little bulkier than I imagined, in part because of the bulk of the extra straps. People who are normal-sized and not quite so tiny as I am will find the fit just right. Velcro adjusts the general waist size, buckles fine-tune that, and each leg has its own buckle. That means the Joque fits your butt, no matter what kind of butt you have.

If you have sensory processing issues, this might not be the product for you. It isn't scratchy by any stretch of the imagination, but it is outfitted with Velcro and buckles.

The O-ring is embedded in the fabric, and not accessible. This means no monster dongs. Any dildo between one to two inches should fit just fine. Some of my tiny butt plugs under 1" fit, as well.

The two-strap design means more stability, less lag time between thrusts, less irritation, and a flattering look for your butt!

The harness itself is 77% nylon and 23% Spandex. Care couldn't be easier. Just hand wash in warm water, or machine wash on gentle by itself. Use mild soap--no bleach, no fabric softener! Tumble dry on low, or lay flat to dry.

The storage bag included with the purchase is fantastic. You can't beat an included storage option. The bag is made of the same material as the Joque, super soft and stretchy and black to match the harness. The SpareParts logo is emblazoned on the bag. The toggle is high-quality and looks like it will really stand the test of time.

Remember--no oil-based lubes, or the fabric will degrade! Stick to water-based lubes with your silicone toys. Silicone-based lubes are fine for glass dildos.

It took time for me to get into the design. I can get over the harness partially covering my genitalia. It's the incredible function of the harness that won me over. It does its job in any position, it's high-quality, and built tough for a lifetime of use!

I never realized how awful my cheapo harness was until I got the SpareParts Joque! My nylon beginners' harness, with its dainty bruised foam O-ring pad! My nylon beginners' harness, with its scratchy straps and dinky little snaps that began rusting a year or two into the game! Why did I ever waste $20 on that awful harness when I could have just spent a bit more on this one?

This harness doesn't need to be held at the base, urged into positions, constantly readjusted, hoisted, or hefted. This one actually stays where you set the straps. This one keeps the dildo close to you, so that you don't have to occupy your hands adjusting when you could be pinching nipples, playing with clits, or grabbing balls!

I can't believe I ever used anything else. The SpareParts Joque is a total game-changer!