Ah, condoms, what can one really say about them? Unless you have a latex fetish or find them helpful in lasting longer, they are generally considered a necessary evil. It takes something really special for a condom to make a particular positive difference during sex. Most of the time condoms offer a neutral to bad addition to intercourse and these are no exception to those rules.

I’m not a huge condom brand snob, in general, I’m usually pretty happy with whatever simple, lubricated (but not ultra lubricated) condom is on sale when I go looking. I’m not generally inclined to use lube for myself either, lube is often kept around either for my partner’s use inside the condom or for the rare occasions on which I consent to some sort of anal shenanigans.

So, it was with a great deal of skepticism that I began playing with my box…of Trojan Pleasure Pack condoms. I have human sex partners but I also have a busy schedule and often find myself with more moments alone than with someone else. I also find it easier in general to test condoms out on toys. I recall once really disliking the way a certain cooling sensation condom felt and telling my partner “get off me now! Get it out, get it out!”. It kinda hurt his feelings until I was able to explain that the “cooling” sensation had actually caused a burning sensation. Since then, I’ve found it easier on others ego to test new condoms alone.

I said I was skeptical and I definitely had some reason to be. Lets start with the Fire and Ice condoms. Since I’d had a bad run in with a cooling sensation condom before, I had no interest in letting that one get anywhere near my more tender (and harder to flush with water) areas. So, I opened up the package and got to know the condom with my fingers. There was nothing remarkable about the condom itself, not too thick, could be thinner, no special ridges or ribs or bumps, just your average condom with reservoir tip. The substance they use to make it warm and cold is quite strange, sort of lube like but also sort of powdery.

I don’t know what exactly makes the warming sensation happen but the cooling sensation clearly comes from a menthol coating of some kind. You can definitely smell and taste it. I would not recommend giving head over this condom. I also would not personally recommend having sex with it, but that’s me. I don’t like the artificial cooling sensation. If I want a cold cooch, I’ll freeze my glass dildo. Anywho, I was not impressed with the feelings it left on my fingers so I did not test this one internally.

The other three condoms in the box are Twisted, Sensations, and Intense…All of which are basically described on the box as ribbed condoms. Trojan did not reinvent the wheel here. They are, in fact, ribbed condoms. Nothing what-so-ever to write home about. The Intense condoms are supposedly coated with their Ultra Smooth Premium Lubricant, I’m sure they are, but it feels a lot like your average, run of the mill lube to me.

So I guess at the end of the day, they’re not bad condoms, I find that condoms that rely on ribbing are usually a bit thicker than simpler condoms and that’s a downer unless you have a partner who needs less sensation. I haven’t had any trouble with them breaking so that’s always a good selling point for a condom.

When I buy condoms, I tend to buy them on sale, I have a bit of a condom collection for various reasons so I rarely need to buy them. I can’t see walking into a store under normal circumstances and paying $16.99 for this particular mix of only twelve condoms. I tend to have personal financial rules about price per condom and this price breaks that rule.

They really need an option for "I'm still pretty neutral about this product". My feelings haven't changed. They aren't the greatest condoms in the world but they work. I would still stay away from the fire and ice ones.