I have been craving a real hogtie (not the improvised versions I've MacGyvered out of ropes and carabiners) for the longest time. But, because it wasn't a dire necessity in my toy box, I decided to wait for the right one to find me. So when I laid eyes on this simple but functional, sexy but tough hog-tie from Kinklab, I was amply thrilled to see that true hogtie-love had found me. Shiny crab-claw closures and rivets and smooth, red leather to pep up my angsty collection of black BDSM gear? Perfecto.

First, I should mention that this product is only the hog tie itself. Maybe that's self-explanatory, but if you're familiar with Kinklab's stuff then it might not be. Kinklab offers a full hogtie kit on their website, including matching wrist and ankle cuffs. Edenfantasys offers all three components of the kit, but they are sold separately. There's no price difference, just a difference in packaging.

That said, this hogtie has turned out to be almost everything I had hoped for: snug, sturdy and challenging all while looking gorgeous. Each length of leather or "arm" measures about 5" from the O-ring up to the end of the clip, and about 11" from top to bottom. In other words? This hogtie pulls your feet within 11" of your hands (read also: CLOSE. VERY.) These arms are not adjustable in their length, so if you are a beginner you may want to experiment with impromptu hogties using ankle & wrist cuffs and some rope or a carabiner to make sure you'll be comfortable. Additionally, if you have any condition that might make this position uncomfortable, painful or dangerous for you, this may be especially important to do. The good news for all of us, ability aside, is that the crab clips make speedy removal of the tie very easy. They are steadfast, but also very low tension, meaning less than 10 seconds is necessary for removal. So if you're uncomfortable you can be out of there in the time it takes to mumble a few choice curses at your partner for inflicting this pain. The clips are also mounted onto the arm in such a way that they swivel so that they can move with you, not against you. This may seem like a minor detail, but it can really help prevent painful stiffness in the long run, seriously.

This is a low maintenance piece of equipment that makes fancy-looking bondage very, very idiot-proof. The crab-claw clips have an inner diameter of half an inch, meaning that it will fit pretty much any D or O ring that your cuffs are fitted with. The only thing you may want to check is the diameter of the D or O rings themselves, because the clips themselves are nearly a quarter of an inch thick. If your rings are especially tiny, take your measuring tape just to make sure the Kinklab hogtie can be properly hooked up to your restraints.

Kinklab's hogtie features nickel-plated closures. In some areas on the crab-claws the nickel-plating is a bit chipped away from use, revealing a murky greyish-brownish material. Over time it is possible that more chipping may occur, but so far this hasn't interfered with the restraint's functioning at all. This piece is made from red dyed leather, the outward facing side finished and polished while the underside is raw and textured. The unfinished side has a tendency to shed slightly at first, but not very much. Due to the heavy dyes in the material, it may bleed onto clothing or bedding if wet, so take care not to expose your tie to excessive moisture. For this reason it's a good idea to store this in a watertight container like a Ziploc bag or heck, even a Tupperware would work. You could fit it in a Tupperware, too, because it can be folded into itself small enough to fit in your palm. Travel friendly? I think so.

Leather can be a very tricky material to clean. Ideally, you won't be cleaning this piece too often because your back is (hopefully) not an especially mucky area. But if for any reason you have to clean a spot or two out, it's important to be gentle and cautious. The finished side of the leather is easy enough to wipe down with a moist cloth; however, the unfinished side is more difficult. To remove a stain you can lather in a small amount of saddle soap, and then carefully remove all remnants of the lather with a damp cloth. As with the finished side, leave out for 24-48 hours in a cool, dry area out of sunlight until completely dried. You may also want to coat the rivets of your hogtie with some clear nail polish to prevent rust.

I really just want to take this space to say that a lot of my bondage equipment "firsts" have been a total bust, even when I really felt like I did my homework first. I'm talking cuffs that had the rivets literally fly out, ping-pinging off nearby walls and windows, when they were pulled on lightly. This was a reputable company, people! I've come to be wary of anything non-ASLAN when it comes to leather because they have lifetime warranties and besides that? They make stuff so well you don't even need the warranty. For a leash, a collar, easy stuff like that I may go elsewhere, but this hog tie was a gamble for me.

And it totally paid off.

This is a beautiful, high quality piece that has stood up to pretty serious tugging and squirming. I don't bottom a lot, so when I do, I'm pretty squirmy and resistant. This hogtie was well prepared for my bratiness; the swivels helped me move around a little so I wouldn't get stiff, but did not let me move out of my pose at all.

The only problem I had with the performance here was that the swivel aspect of the clips made them sort of...loose, I suppose is the word? The space allows them to pivot and rock back and forth a bit to accommodate some movement, but it also makes them jingle like no one's business. Not like Liberty Bell status, but if there are other people in your living space they're probably going to wonder why it sounds like Santa's sleigh in your boudoir.

I was doing a BDSM themed photo set for my (at the moment long-ish distance) partner the other night with the help of a 30 second delay self-timer. Of course, being ridiculously ambitious in my task, I dragged this hog-tie out and with some very, very ingenious squirming and wriggling I managed to get a few cute pictures of me in this thing. Which made me realize 1) I wish Edenfantasys carried this in some of the other colors, because this really doesn't match anything I own and 2) this is such a sexy little number! It's holding up surprisingly well considering how much wear it was showing when I first received it and I really couldn't be happier with it. I love the ease with which this can be clamped and unclamped, really, all I would change is the color. We need some black up in this.