The Gold Laced G is a semi-realistic glass dildo from SSA Glass. Although labelled as glass it's actually Pyrex which makes it great for temperature play or - if that's not your thing - makes a great, virtually worry-free 'regular' dildo. This particular toy doesn't offer any bells and whistles other than the subtle ribbed texture (or the "Lace" in the toy's name). There's no compartment for a bullet, it doesn't twist and turn inside you and doesn't give you a foot massage or go and check on the kids when playtime's over. What it does give you though is the peace of mind that you almost certainly won't get rashes, infections or other irritations, leaving you to concentrate on the unique pleasure that only glass can bring.

For all of this heavenly wonder though, you should always be aware that glass isn't like any of your other toys and could hurt if used too vigorously. Whether it's vaginal or anal, I definitely recommend taking your time and follow your partner's instructions. If you're using it for solo play then obviously that's going to be different since you know how your own body feels and what you can take but still, care should be taken since there's absolutely no give to be had out of this thing.

Although we haven't tried it this way, glass also makes for good shower or tub play and has the added bonus that you could leave it sitting in the water with you to warm it up before use or alternatively keep a bowl of cold water next to you allowing you to easily take the sensations your body is feeling from one extreme to the other.

While this next bit of advice might be best suited to "Care and Maintenance", we felt it important to share it here under "Use". Yes, glass is great for temperature play, but care should always be taken with getting it to the desired temp. You're going to want to warm this up gradually (ideally over about a half hour period), maybe submerging it in warm water than replacing it with increasingly hotter should you feel the need. The general consensus also appears to be not to warm these up in the microwave or put them in the freezer to cool them. And always check the temperature first before using them on sensitive parts. Pyrex holds its temperature very well and you could easily be sending yourself or your partner to the ER rather than to the ceiling!

I'd describe the texture of this toy as interesting & attractive. It's actually really nice to look at, so if you're one of those people who puts interesting sex-toys on your shelves alongside your Royal Doulton Porcelain then you'll be happy with this just for its aesthetic appeal. Being Pyrex, this is more resistant to breaking than regular glass. If you've used it in your kitchen (Pyrex that is, not glass dildos, although you never know), it handles heat and cold wonderfully so if you haven't experimented with temperature play, this would be a great place to start. Just make sure to let your partner know first - I know I'd be typing this as a single man if I'd left it in the fridge overnight before slipping it into my wife's nether regions!

The most true-to-life pic I could take. Yellow Laced G doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?

Since glass is non-porous, this toy and others like it leave no place for germs, bacteria and dirt, making them hypo-allergenic. Pyrex is considered food-grade material and is both Latex and Phthalates free. It almost seems as though it'd be rude not to slip this into yourself or a close friend!

You know how you'll sometimes read a review where someone says "This is perfect" then goes on to say "The only thing I'd change is..." Well that's not the case this time. The Gold Laced G is in itself perfect, period. The length is perfect, the curve is (P-)spot-on, the material wonderful. The little base on it seemed odd until I began using it but that quickly turned into a handle and was - again - perfect.

As with our other glass toys, this is extremely well made, with no nicks, bumps or seams to be found. That probably sounds obvious but we're the kind of people who have always had that little paranoid niggling thought that glass toys bring the risk of breaking off inside or giving you little nicks & cuts that you only find out about when you develop a high fever 2 hours after using them. That's absolutely not the case of course and there's nothing at all to worry about when using this.

Despite reading reviews and looking at pics before this arrived, we found ourselves a little surprised at how slim this dildo actually is. The measurements are as follows:

Length: 6 3/4"
Insertable length: 6"
Circumference: 3 1/2"
Diameter: 1"
Weight: 9.7 oz

I won't suggest that this is the perfect size for everyone but it is for me. As you may know from our profile, we're a bi couple. We've played with the occasional third (ok, and fourth) party and I've got to say that if we met a guy whose cock matched the size of the Glass Laced G, I'd have moved him in by now. Yes, this feels that good!

When it comes to my own likes, body and tastes, this dildo took about 30 seconds to become my instant favourite. I've said in other reviews that I'm very tight, and even with the best will in the world some toys end up stretching or hurting after a while. Not so with this fella.

Eagled-eyed readers - or those who at least read review titles - will have noticed that I called this one "Want Some Glass For Your Ass?" (if you think that's corny, be thankful I didn't go with my original one of "I Know It's Only Thin & Gold - But I Like It!"), but the ass part is actually a little misleading since this isn't marketed as an anal toy. It could easily be though, since that's been our experience with this mind-blowing great piece of glass. We found that it was just too thin for truly mind-blowing vaginal use and whilst there's a curve there it takes a little bit of fiddling to 'hit the spot'. So for the first short use, this almost got relegated to the darkest depths of the Eden Tote Bag, never to be seen again until our next big clearout. But then in flash of brilliance, my wife suggested we use it on me. I'm long since past the point of saying no but meaning yes (which is one reason why I'd make an awful sub) so I jumped at the chance, even though a lot of toys take a little bit of work and a hell of a lot of lube and/or foreplay. Out came the aforementioned lube, generously applied between my cheeks and then to the dildo itself. Being fairly new to glass toys, we're still always surprised at how little lube it takes to get these nice and slippery.

We may well go back to trying this as a dildo for vaginal use, but since we tend not to spend hours having 9 1/2 Weeks-type sex these days, we don't really do multiple toy sessions, so if a new toy doesn't work we'll often just move onto what's been tried and tested (which generally means just shagging). So while this would definitely work well as a 'regular' dildo, we've found that it works best for us for anal.

Here's the easy bit. Glass (yes, yes, Pyrex then) is incredibly easy to keep clean. Give it a wipe down with warm soapy water, boil it, stick it in the dishwasher (no, that's not a euphemism for putting it in your wife), you get the picture.

A little Googling led me to some care instructions from another glass dildo manufacturer that I have paraphrased below. All of these tips apply equally to the Gold Laced G:

Cleanliness is one of the most important points in choosing glass over rubber or plastic sex toys. Sex toys should be cleaned before and after each use, preferably with an antibacterial sex toy cleaner but if you'd like to keep it as simple as possible you could use warm water with a mild soap, something that won't cause any sort of negative reaction or irritation the next time you would use it. Actually, if you do have any soap allergies, you could maybe clean it with soap and water then rinse it thoroughly with warm to hot water. Afterwards, dry it with a soft towel. If you're going to share your toys, use rubbing alcohol, bleach (again, make sure to rinse thoroughly afterwards), or the boiling method to sterilize between uses. Pat dry with a soft towel and store until the next use. Glass dildos can last a lifetime with proper care, but always use care as they are very slippery when wet and soaped up and could be damaged if you drop them on a hard enough surface such as porcelain or tile.

Packaging on this and the other SSA glass toys we currently own is minimal. This is our third glass dildo from EdenFantasys - this one arriving together with the Sapphire Falls - and like the others this arrived wrapped in an 11" x 8" sheet of cheap bubble wrap that probably wouldn't do much more than break a short fall from knee-height rather than offer protection. This in turn was in a red velveteen storage bag (an EF standard one, we believe) and placed directly into the delivery box. Other than that sparse but functional packaging there's no info at all. Since we're the type of people who like to know as much as possible about things we buy, especially sex toys, we spent a while trying to find out more about SSA Glass. We were surprised to learn that they're a Chinese company, actually called Shanghai Shen An Foreign Trade Corporation and therefore assume that these toys are made in China, which some people may or may not prefer. We would have ideally liked to have seen the country of manufacture listed on the product page since the packaging gives no information on this.


I'm sure Sir will find our new range of Genital Wart condoms to be most satisfactory

I'll be absolutely honest and state here and now that the Gold Lace Dildo didn't exactly arrive here by choice. At the time of writing this review it came as a Free Gift to mark EF's 10th Anniversary, and even then we were a little disappointed that the previously offered toy had gone out of stock. It turns out that that worked out in our favour though. We'd have probably never ordered this of our own accord, which would have been a shame since it's gone straight to the top of our toy bag and is one of the first things we'll now reach for when we're up for some toy fun (right after our trusty bottle of Sliquid Sassy Booty lube of course!)

We feel that we should also say that this really deserves to be a five-star product. The only single reason it's not is the lack of information on it. That doesn't affect the quality or use, but it does mean that we can't give a full 5 out of 5 in good conscience. Come on EF - can we give 4.9999 just this once?

The Brothers Slimm - Pink Allure, Gold Laced G and the newly-acquired Sapphire Falls. Notice that the latter is disappointingly almost Black and not Sapphire at all. (Yes, really!!)

This wasn't a bad dildo for 'normal' use. The texture was nice, the smooth head meant for easy insertion and the stand/handle made it easy to hold even when most of the dildo was coated with lube. But the 1" diameter has proved to be perfect for anal, especially for me (hubby) since my wife tends to prefer fingers and the 'real thing' back there over toys. As you'll have seen, that turned out to be a good thing for us since the length, thickness and curve go very well together. It's just the right width to feel comfortable, again goes in smoothly and still feels great after things get a little vigorous. The flared base means that you don't have to worry about this slipping up where the sun doesn't shine, but it is off-centred (almost like a pair of balls) so unfortunately won't work with a harness. We also found that we didn't have to use as much lube as usual and didn't have to keep reapplying once it was on there (and in there). Once the dildo was worked into place it easily hit my P-spot, and I was actually able to use this a little more vigorously than any of my other boy-toys.


It rubs the lotion on the glass. And then it goes up Hubby's ass