I couldn't help but laugh when I opened the box from EdenFantasys and saw the ever so subtle packaging for our new probe: a half-naked woman bending over under the bold title "Der Analbohrer Screwtime." The description on the back is a delightfully terrible translation, promising to stimulate "every pleasure nerve with its pronounced riffles."

I was initially a little disappointed with the appearance of the Screwtime probe itself. It's a matte black with obvious seams and imperfections from the molding process. The material is very soft and grippy, almost like jelly, but it appears to be a bit more sturdy than the jelly toys I've previously used [Editor’s note: It is made of TPR silicone].

My wife and I decided we'd try it out that night. After rubbing her in all the right places for a little while, she jumped me like there'd be no tomorrow. I let her get well on her way to her first orgasm, and decided it was time she got analgebohrt with the Screwtime. With a fair bit of lube, she handled it easily.

Because of the taper that goes the whole length of the toy, this probe won't stay in by itself. But it was easy enough to slip a finger through the loop on the end and get down to some pretty aggressive thrusting. I occasionally felt some of the probe's ribs through the walls of her vagina, but the narrowness of the probe made those sensations decidedly infrequent. Between my lips on her breasts, the Screwtime in its place, and her own rough riding, my wife felt pretty overwhelmed. Her orgasm was a long time coming, but when she hit it, it was pretty huge.

A few days later, my wife paid me back. After thoroughly wearing me out, she managed to revive my penis with the threat of the Screwtime probe. From her position beneath me, she reamed me hard and fast. It was easy for me to take the narrow probe, but I think I'd underestimated those "riffles" after all. Like her, I found my time with the Screwtime to be pleasantly overwhelming.