Great Things in the Wrong Ways

The Pulse Probe is a giant ball of frustration for me. At first glance it looks like an amazingly designed toy. Unfortunately, the bulb at the end is too flexible, the texture can't be felt and is hard to clean, and the vibrations are too weak and diffused.
Published:
Pros
Soft silicone, No smell, Easy turn dial
Cons
Bulb is too flexible, Diffused and weak vibrations, I can't finish from it, Hard to clean
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

When I saw the Pulse Probe I really found it appealing. The bulb at the end looked awesome for popping in and out anally and the curve looked good for the g-spot. I like pulsing vibrations and light rippling texture too. I figured all those aspects would make one awesome toy. Unfortunately, none of those things ended up being executed in a way that made this toy mind-blowing. The bulb is too flexible to apply pressure and is hard to insert without a little bit of a struggle. The toy has no pulsing vibrations to speak of and the vibrations are too weak anyways. The ripping texture is too subtle to be felt much either. SIGH. I recommend this toy to women who do not require a lot of pressure on their g-spots or to those who don't mind mild vibrations. The material is awesome! So there's that.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Solo
    • Women
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • G-spot
    • Vaginal

Material / Texture

The Pulse Probe is supposedly made of 100% silicone. It's not the highest grade available. When I did the flame test it made black spots on the silicone. It did not melt at all or warp which is a good sign (meaning it is 100% silicone and not a mix), but I have high grade silicone that doesn't change AT ALL when you take a flame to them. This may be because this silicone is soft and flexible. I love that it is plush for a silicone and isn't sticky at all. Softer silicone also retains temperatures faster. In other words it will take in the warmth of your body faster than a firm silicone. Silicone is nonporous and hypoallergenic, as well as free of both latex and phthalates. It's completely safe for those with allergies. It has a little bit of drag so lubrication is probably necessary.

The bright hot pink color is very vibrant. It also has a frosted look for the bulbed top.

The base of the toy is made of non-porous plastic.

Design / Shape / Size

The Pulse Probe is clearly designed as to get every millimeter of your g-spot. The bulb at the end, the smaller circumference right below it, and the slight curve is the key to that. The toy is a decent length of 7 3/4". 6 1/2" of that is insertable. That should be enough for most women.

The bulb on the end is about the size of a ping pong ball. It's 1 1/4" in diameter and about 4 3/4" in circumference. The last 2" on the vibrator are what is curved about 30 degrees from the rest of the vibrator. Right below the bulb the vibrator is the thinnest at 1" in diameter. As the toy curves it thickens slowly. When it straightens out, the diameter is 1 3/8" and gets to a maximum of 1 1/2" which is 4 5/8" in circumference. At the end of the insertable portion is a slight lip. For many this isn't enough to make the toy anal safe. The base below that unscrews so that two AAA batteries can slide down the shaft. It appears that the silicone is just a thick sleeve on a thin plastic vibrator, but I didn't attempt to take it off in case I was wrong. This is a reason to let it dry completely after use so that when you store it, mold does not grow between the sleeve and vibrator.



The entire shaft of the vibrator has a very fine texture of rippled ribbing. The top bulb is smooth, however. This is for added sensation when inserted. The smooth bulb helps the vibrator be inserted easily.

The design is pretty obvious and not discreet. It's a moderate size vibrator and is okay for traveling with in luggage, but isn't suitable for a purse.

Functions / Performance / Controls

To power the toy turn the bottom dial. It starts off on a low steady level and gradually increases as you turn the dial. That is until you get to the last few degrees of the turn where it drastically increases the power level. The vibrations do not travel well and are too buzzy and diffused to pin point the clit or g-spot at all. It's terribly disappointing! The vibrations are concentrated in the whole of the shaft, but really don't go to the bulb much at all. That's exactly where they need to be. They can be felt when the vibrator is inserted, but don't do much for me since they are not rumbly.

Also the bulb is too flexible. It feels great going in, but it can't deliver because the bulb can't provide the necessary pressure to give me a g-spot orgasm. It's a shame since the bulb is so nicely shaped. I'm not a huge fan of the texture either. They are a little too subtle to really add all that much during thrusting. I can barely feel it at all, and usually I'm sensitive to texture. Basically, this vibrator is one big ball of frustration for me. I didn't finish from it at all. At least it isn't very loud.
    • Discreet sound
    • Weak

Care and Maintenance

This toy can be hard to clean because of the texture. The easiest thing to do would be to use a condom since the texture can't really be felt anyways. Otherwise the tight texture can be a pain to clean in between. I'd clean it with hot water and anti-bacterial soap. If the sleeve can come off, it can be boiled for 5 minutes or tossed on the top shelf of the dishwasher. Don't do either of those options with the vibrator still in the sleeve.

Never use a silicone lubricant with silicone materials. Some highest grade silicones may fare okay, but you should always spot check first. Silicone lubricants have the potential to eat silicone materials. A water based lubricant works just fine.

Remove the batteries before storing and let it dry.
    • Easy to store
    • Hard to clean

Packaging

The toy comes in a simple plastic clam shell case that is not discreet. It shows the toy clearly through the package. The front has a lot of obvious language. There is a sample of the material that can be felt from the front. The back has a lot more information in really small writing. There is also a small general instruction manual included.
    • Minimal
    • Recyclable
Follow-up commentary
This toy didn't stick around long since it has so much fail. It's a teasing probe at best and isn't much else even for newbies. I'd like to see a harder version of this toy is the same shape.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com

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Comments
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  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Thanks
  • Contributor: Sodom and Gomorrah
    Great review! I liked how you put the different diameters and their locations. Thanks a bunch!
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Welcome
  • Contributor: SkylarrStarr
    Your summary said it all for me...not up my alley, although I loooove the way it looks. Too bad it doesn't have all that much power. Great review!
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Thanks!
  • Contributor: HarlequinBunnie
    Thank you. Looks like fun.
  • Contributor: YvetteJeannine
    Liked the review. Love the fact that you do visible measurements for your toy reviews. That is very helpful; folks don't always 'get' the size of a toy based on text measurements alone. Thx 'gain!
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    You're welcome! Thanks a ton!
  • Contributor: TheirPet
    Oof, I'm sorry this toy didn't work out for you.
  • Contributor: Lioncub
    Thanks for the review, doesn't appear to have the power I like.
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Welcome
  • Contributor: Artishok
    Great review!
  • Contributor: thesquaredeific
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Welcome!
  • Contributor: Sabrina
    ty
  • Contributor: Pudyqat
    Thanks for a great review!
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Welcome
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