It took me quite some time to review the SinFive Alterno Anal Beads–I received the package at the end of a long and draining workweek. I will admit that I was a little intimidated by them the first night I took them out of the package. I didn’t have the time necessary to warm up to them, I told myself. But you know what? You have even less time for sex toys, sex at all even, when evacuated with your entire family in a hotel room due to hurricane damage! Needless to say–the Alterno stayed behind, while we weathered the storm.

On my return, they were waiting for me, taunting me–I’d never used anal beads before, and the variety of surfaces–not to mention the very large center bead that is made of two crossed disc shapes–left me pretty unsure of my self-imposed label as an adventurous type.

Oh sure–it’s a beautiful high quality sex toy, over a foot long and made from thermoplastic rubber. [Editor's note: TPR is porous, so these should not be shared, as there's no way to sterilize them.] There’s four different sized beads, that each have a different “texture” graduating up to the largest in the center and back down again, with a convenient handle on one end. But while I have some experience in the anal toy arena–I’ve never played with anal beads before, and the Alterno beads definitely are for people who have some experience with anal play. Personally, it was just too much for me to handle. It was too long, and was way more uncomfortable than stimulating. I guess I’m just not an anal beads kind of girl.

But just because me and my heiny responded with a lukewarm reaction to the SinFive should not dissuade any would-be buyer. My Partner in crime LOVED this one. Loved just the idea of the Alterno, and now claims it as his favorite toy in our stash. And I have to admit, it was much more fun to watch his reaction to the Alterno, than to experience it myself. It's for these reasons that I'm giving the Alterno 4 stars, because the fact that I disliked the toy was simply a matter of personal preference, and was no fault of the design or intent of the toy itself.