Billy by Lelo is an excellent toy to have in your collection. Being a fan of toys that can multitask, it took a little while to fully appreciate what this has to offer, but once we did it quickly earned its place near the top of the toy box. Rather than simply being a prostate stimulator, Billy can be enjoyed on other parts of the body and to add to the fun, can be enjoyed equally by women too (in fact Billy is almost identical to another Lelo offering, the Liv).

The idea behind Billy is that it's essentially a vibrator for men. Despite an long-standing interest in anal play, up until a few years ago the only sexual action my backside had seen was fingers, tongues and a little pegging. So when I opened the (very nice) box that a friend had given me two Christmases ago and found Billy inside, my first reaction was "Oh, thanks". Even though we'd dabbled with dildos back there, Billy seemed like he was going to be too big for me. Now, 18 months later Billy is just right. No, scratch that - he's perfect. That doesn't mean it has taken that long to get used to this, it's really because I've been slack. I avoided using this because I thought it was going to be too big, when that was just a mental obstacle after all. Now I wish I'd played with this sooner, since it's right up there (oh yes I did) with the best of my anal/prostate toys.

It's a corny line, but you get what you pay for here. Made with FDA-approved and phthalate-free PC-ABS/ silicone, Billy is the polar opposite from some of those $10 anal toys we used to look at. With no worrying seams to take your mind off the job in progress, no concerns about how porous he's going to perform, and no nightmares that he might lead you to a nice relaxing trip to the ER, Billy really is a luxury toy.

The business end of Billy is silicone (actually it has a plastic core for rigidity that's covered by silicone). Lelo's silicone is high-end and gets the highest score on Eden's Safety Scale. The texture is velvety - in fact I see that a lot when people talk about silicone toys, but this really is. Sitting here stroking it (for review purposes, you understand), it absolutely feels like soft velvet on my skin. I have literally never felt silicone quite like this, and if it's standard Lelo silicone then I want more of their toys. This almost makes you want to put it inside you or a good friend. Honestly, it's really that good. There are other toys that do the same job as Billy but if any of them feel this good then I'd love to meet them.

As mentioned previously, Billy is very similar to Lelo's Liv, with the exception of a ridge above the plastic handle to stop it going in too far. When it comes to actual measurements, it should be noted that the ones that I get a slightly different to the ones listed on the EF product page. Perhaps my ruler has shrunk with age. The measurements I took are:

Overall length (tip to tip, not including curve): 6 3/4"
Insertable length: 4"
Circumference: 3 1/2"
Diameter: 7/8"

The diameter measurement was the one I found the most interesting. Most places list it as being around 1 1/4" diameter, but I'm thinking that measurement is taken from the handle. The insertable part of Billy is definitely slimmer than that, and is actually only slightly wider than my middle fingers (hardly scientific, but there you go).


Never mind the comfort, feel the width

There's a curve to Billy that reminds me more of an Arabian dagger than your average prostate toy. It's obvious that that this curve is to help target the prostate (or G-spot should you wish to share this toy) and it does so very well. It also means that while Billy is inserted, it's still easy to hold the handle and work the buttons without losing the pressure on your P-spot.

There was a little power in Billy when I got him, but I opted to go for the full charge before trying any real playing. Charging took about 2 hours, and according to Lelo, that will give you "4 hours of near-silent vibrations". They weren't joking with the near-silent bit either. Sitting in a room with the television on, I have been cycling through the different settings and even on its most powerful this is no louder than a cellphone that is set to vibrate. Once it's inside you it's almost inaudible, so there's definitely nothing to worry about if you've got anybody on the other side of your bedroom door.

One of my gripes with Billy - and with toys like this - is that despite the manufacturer's claims, the controls are rarely intuitive. It took a while for me to get to a point where I could use the controls without thinking about it. It really is worth your while spending some time familiarising yourself with the controls before you use Billy, otherwise you're going to have a great feeling toy that's almost got a mind of its own.


"I see you have built a new lightsabre, Luke". "No Dad, that's my vibrator. The lightsabre's in my other hand"

On the subject of performance, I've got to say that Billy is outstanding in one particular way - holding a charge. I have literally left this in its box for something like 10 months and Billy was still charged and ready to go when I took him back out of his box. I don't leave him for that long any more, but it's reassuring to know that I don't have to worry about having to plan a charging session ahead of time.

Billy has seven vibration levels that are controlled via a two of the four-position circular button on the handle. on top of that are five different vibration patterns, controlled by the remaining two buttons. The controls are at the 12, 3, 6 and 9 o'clock positions and are marked with Up & Down arrows (12 and 6 for vibration pattern) and - and + (6 and 3, for intensity). The control dial (actually called the 'Interface dial') will also lock for travel. You do this by holding the dial itself for five seconds. You can either repeat this to unlock it, or plug in the charger to unlock, too).

Billy goes from a nice, slow & steady rumble all the way up to slightly hand-shaking. Again, it's similar to a cellphone's vibration in feel, although it's more powerful. My point is that it's neither rumbly nor buzzy, but more a combination of both.

Being a high quality silicone toy, Lelo recommends that you DO NOT use any silicone-based lubes with this, although if you're feeling really adventurous and want to try a quality silicone lube then you should do a patch test first. I have only used water-based lubes, and once again the mighty Sliquid Sassy Booty is the usual anal lube of choice (failing that we'll sometimes fall back on the Probe Thick & Rich).

Due to the nature of the toy, Billy should always be cleaned before and (certainly) after each use. Lelo's advice is to wash this with warm water and antibacterial soap before rinsing and either air-drying or patting to dry with a lint-free cloth. Care should be taken not to get water in or around the DC socket at the base of the handle or around the control dial. You should also never use cleansers that contain alcohol, petrol or acetone.

Finally Lelo also warns to avoid leaving Billy in direct sunlight and to never expose him to extreme heat. I've no idea why, but since they're the manufacturers I've been careful to take their advice.

The packaging on this is certainly classy. If Macy's sold Gentlemen's Sex Toys then this is the one they'd have on display. There are two boxes to this, an outer 'gift box' type affair and an inner 'presentation box'. The outer is Burgundy (although if you buy the blue model I'm guessing you'll get a blue box). One side of the box has a picture of Billy on it, but the other three sides are totally discreet, so if you've left it lying around just make sure it's picture-side down and you'll be fine. The inner box is very classy and is a heavy matte cardboard box with LELO etched into it and nothing else. Inside of that is a card & plastic housing that I'll often leave Billy in if I know I won't be using him for an extended time, and underneath this are the charger, a white satin travel pouch, the instruction booklet and a glossy booklet explaining Lelo's Ten Year Warranty. This inner packaging is very discreet, but the only problem is that it looks so cool, people are going to want to pry if they see it lying around.


"No really, darling. My secretary gave me one of those new ergonomic executive pens"

I was a late-bloomer when it came to sex toys for men. Even though I've got a sex drive that would make Charlie Sheen blush, I was only truly exposed to male sex toys when my wife and I had a year-long relationship with an amazing woman who bought us both Lelo toys for Christmas - the Nea for my wife and Billy for me. Sad to say, the Billy went untouched for a couple of months. We'd tried the pegging thing (which we've since embraced more) but prostate stimulation had always been done with fingers or a non-vibrating toy.

But Billy's cries from his box got louder and louder. He started out with the occasional little "Have you forgotten about me?" whimper, which over the course of the next few weeks progressed from "Come on, you know you want to try me" to the eventual "Let me the hell out of here, I've got a job to do!" Well that did the trick. If he'd only shouted that in the first place, my love/love relationship with Billy would have kicked into gear a lot sooner.

My first time with Billy was a bit of a difficult one. I'm one of those rare men who doesn't read instructions(!) and instead jumps right in thinking "I'll figure this out myself" (if you're a woman reading this, I just knew you were going to laugh at that) so I made myself comfortable, grabbed the ever-trusty Sassy Booty lube and set to work. That was the part that showed my inexperience. Although I love anal play, my own bum generally likes to be talked into it first. Fortunately Billy has the means to do that. Unfortunately that meant having to learn some of the controls. Once I'd picked up the basics, I was able to get some external warming-up done thanks to Billy's powerful vibrations and within 10 minutes was ready to see just how well we were made for each other. It turns out we're a match made in heaven, and when it comes to both prostate stimulation and using a 'vibrator' on myself, Billy's got all bases covered.