Playful Penises

These fun novelty straws are definitely going to be the perfect addition to any bachelorette party, as a gag gift, or anywhere else that small penis shaped things are appropriate. They're very solidly built and well made, won't crack along any of the seams, and best of all they actually function as straws. Use them once, or use them over and over again, the choice is up to you, but rest assured you'll be getting your money's worth from them.
Published:
Pros
Well made, sturdy construction, can be used over and over again.
Cons
Penis shaped straws are not always appropriate.
Rating by reviewer:
5
extremely useful review
Penis shaped straws have their place in the world. That place is not going to be at a fancy restaurant, or even at a formal dinner in your own home. However for something a little less formal, and a little more reminiscent of a bachelorette party, they're right at home.

These particular straws come in a pack of 10. The packaging itself isn't much to write home about; a plastic bag with a cardboard top. The cardboard does say "Girl's Night" with a drawing of two women in small dresses holding drinks with penis shaped straws in them, and the back has all of that information plus a link to California Exotics' website and a disclaimer that this is to be sold as a novelty only. I mean, I guess you could try them out for G-spot stimulation, but I certainly wouldn't recommend it.

As mentioned earlier, you get 10 straws in this package; 5 pink and 5 black. They're both just your run of the mill plastic with the black one looking like every other piece of black plastic I've seen before, and the pink one having a nice bright pink color. That one is definitely an eye catcher.

All of the straws are pretty thick, a lot like the novelty straws you may have played with as a kid, only slightly more inappropriate. They're each a total of about 7 1/4" in height, with the straw's shaft making up about 5 1/2" of that and a realistic enough penis shape making up the rest of the top. It's anatomically correct in that there is a pair of balls connected to a penile shaft and there's a hole in the tip that liquid can come out of. That hole is actually pretty large, which is a good thing because it means that you won't be sucking on your penis like you're trying to drink a freshly made triple thick milkshake. As long as what you're drinking is liquid, it will be no different than drinking through a regular straw, other than when you first start sipping you'll get a little bit of air as the liquid tries to figure out what to do with the balls.



There are no indications as to whether these are supposed to be a one time use item, or if they're meant to be around for a while. But the extra thick plastic and super sturdy construction lead me to believe that they could easily be kept for multiple uses. The balls are slanted down, so they shouldn't hold on to much liquid, which will help in cleaning if you don't get to them right away. I would recommend washing them before the first use, and again after each subsequent use. You can either soak them in warm (dish)soapy water (what I'd do if you've been drinking anything other than water and didn't wash it right away), or try to run them through the dishwasher. I haven't done it, but I have confidence they'll hold up. To rinse them out, I'd suggest running the water up through the bottom with the straw upside down. This will clear out anything that may be sitting inside of the balls. You can them put them all back in the back and store them away in a drawer for future use.

This glass is about 6" tall when measured from the inside.

Experience
I'm all about fun novelty items, so when this popped into my assignment cart I just couldn't resist, and I'm really glad I got them. They've been fun for my friends to mess around with and make silly jokes with and best of all, they actually work as a straw, which is super fantastic. I've tried to think of any bad things I could about this and seriously all I can come up with is that they are penis shaped, and therefore not appropriate for all audiences. Eden doesn't have a price listed yet, but CalEx's website has a suggested price of about $6.99, which I think is very reasonable for the quality of what you're getting here. Picking a ranking based on just the product and nothing else, there's nothing wrong with them at all, and they'll get a solid 5 stars from me.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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  • Contributor: Petite Cannibal
    Great review! Thanks so much!
  • Contributor: pinkzombie
    Great review!
  • Contributor: KinkyKatieJames
    Thanks! These are adorable!
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