Gummy genitals are a fun novelty item. These aren't the first gummy penises I've seen, and I know I'll be seeing more in the future.

The box is meant to be obnoxiously in your face, so it's plastered with the words "gummy peckers" and all that. The front of the box has a penis shaped cut out so that you can see the candy in the box. The back has nutritional facts and ingredients. For about 5 servings per container, each serving is about 5 pieces and about 102 calories. The ingredients are glucose syrup, sugar, modified corn starch, citric acid, artificial flavors, gelatin carnauba wax, and artificial colors (including blue 1, red 40, and yellow 5 & 6).

The box says that these come in three yummy flavors, but doesn't list what they are. In my box, I saw four different colors; yellow, green, red, and a pinkish. The pinkish one tastes more like a strawberry candy but the red one tastes similar to a watermelon flavored candy to me. At least to me anyway. The green one tastes similar to a green apple type candy, and the yellow one tastes a lot like a peach or an apricot.

They all have a somewhat grainy appearance to them, but that's because they're covered in sugar. However, that sugar is a loose sugar so it's fairly easy to brush some of it off if you don't want to eat it. The consistency seems to vary throughout the batch. Some penises were harder to bite through and chew, others were pretty gummy. The gummier ones felt like eating Dots candy, and the harder ones felt like eating Dots candy of a gingerbread house that had been sitting out for a while. After they've been open a few days, they're likely to do what most all gummy candies do and get harder to chew. If you don't eat them all in one night, you can keep them in a ziploc bag to try and prevent your penises from getting hard. They're supposed to be good gummies, not good penises, so it's ok that they stay soft.

Some of my penises:


Each penis is about 1 1/2" long and is obviously shaped like a penis. There's really no way you're going to fool anybody into thinking it's something else. Seriously. Only bring these out in public if you're just wildly inappropriate in general, much like myself.

Gag gifts that I can involve friends with are always great. These were a gift to a friend of mine that always makes penis jokes. Since she can't seem to get enough cock (the horrible joke in our group), I thought she'd crack up with these. And you know what? She did!

I like the gummy titties a lot more than I liked these personally, but my friend loves them, so the buy was worth it to me. The only flavor out of here that I can enjoy at all is the red strawberryish one. The other two are way too much for me in this box when they weren't in the titties. As a gag gift, almost worth the whole price. But just because I didn't like them doesn't mean other people won't, and they're pretty funny to look at.