Have you ever been fumbling with your car keys in the dark and thought to yourself "I wish I had a tiny lighted penis to help me see just a little bit better"? No? Ok, so maybe I might have been the only one, but for those of you closeted wishers, your wish has been granted!

The packaging is much classier than one might have expected for a novelty item, making the only inappropriate thing you're giving be the penis light itself. It does say that the battery is included, and not to submerge it in water. I haven't figured out exactly how to change the battery, but I don't think we're supposed to be able to do that ourselves.

For the penis itself: it appears to be made of plastic. There's an obvious seam that runs lengthwise down both sides of the penis, meaning that if it's going to break, it's going to break in half lengthwise. At the head of the penis is the little light bulb. The back end is flat and houses the little button that activates the light. To activate, you've got to give a meaningful push to that button, no accidentally lighting up your purse or pocket here. The light itself isn't all that bright. It won't light your whole path in the dark parking lot to the car, but once you're at the car, it'll definitely make it easier to find where the keyhole is so you can get inside.

The penis itself is just under 2" long, with the whole keychain taking up about 4" of length. Just for giggles, I measured around the widest part and came up with 3" around. Even if you already have a bunch of keychains, you're not going to take up a ton of space with this guy. He fit very easily and comfortably (for lack of a better word) on my own keys.

These keychains are listed as assorted, meaning there's a bunch of different colors and you don't get to pick the one you want. Eden shows a purple one, but mine came in as a lovely magenta.

He seems pretty sturdy, although his lifespan will definitely depend on how rough you are with your keys. Living at the bottom of a purse all the time is less conducive to a long life span than being the only keychain on a key that lives in a pocket by itself, but either way, you're not getting a keychain that's only going to last you 2 weeks.

I also took some pictures for you guys to give you a better idea of what you're getting.

Unlit:


And lit:

Yes, this guy lives on my keys for now. At least until such a time where he either breaks or I have to take him off because he's suddenly become inappropriate for me to have on there. I see the former happening first.

Yes, we also played with this one at Denny's, and gave the waitress a good laugh as well. And then used it to make it easier to get into the car when I was leaving.

At $4.99, this might not be the most cost effective thing to toss into a whole bunch of goodie bags for a bachelorette party, but as a gag gift or if you know your attendants will appreciate and use it, definitely worth the money.

Would you believe me if I said this was still on my keys and still works? I think most of why the battery hasn't died yet is because I'm much more apt to use my cell phone as a light if I need it than remembering I have one on my keys. It is finally starting to dim out though, and will be retired from my keys soon.