Are you a straight couple tired of having the same old boring, plain jane, vanilla sex? These are right up your alley!

Here's who these aren't for:
- Anyone who is in a relationship that is something other monogamous and heterosexual.
- Anyone who actually wants to be kinky.
- Anyone with any sort of creativity.
- Anyone who actually wants to have fun.

The cards are split up into "For Him" and "For Her", so same sex couples will want to pass on this one. It would have been nice if they had made them all "unisex" so that everyone could have whatever fun they're trying to make happen here.

These aren't for anyone who wants to do seriously kinky stuff, either. It's more for those vanilla couples who are looking to "spice things up" with strip teases and an occasional spanking. Anyone who is actually kinky would get a little bored with this and just pull out the blindfold and a cane instead (maybe that's just me, though). Not only does the level of "kink" make me want to yawn, but the "kinky" stuff is mixed in with other "romantic" activities like massages and all that jazz, so you're not even getting a whole lot of it.

So there are 52 of these card things here. Half are marked "For Her to Read" and the other half are "For Him to Read". You can alternate pulling one card out a week or just pull them out whenever you feel like it. There really aren't any "rules" here. Apparently everyone is a winner or something like that.

Here's the "kinky" stuff you're in for:

Put Yourself on Display (For Her)
Start by talking to him about anything. Then, slowly smooth lotion over your bare arms and legs. Flick your hair over your shoulder. Adjust your bra strap. Touch yourself just so. Before you know it he'll be under your erotic trance.

Sexy Comeback (For Him)
Answer every question your partner asks with a sexy comeback. If she asks "did you finish the orange juice?", reply "why - do you want to pour it on my hot body and lick it off?" After a few banters she'll get the idea of what's going on.

Secret Code (For Him)
Invent code words or phrases together so you can secretly communicate with your partner in the most unlikely situations, like a family dinner or at the grocery store. These naughty exchanges are both fun and powerfully arousing.

Double the Pleasure (For Him)
If your partner agrees to anal stimulation, introduce gentle finger play during intercourse. Let her return the favor next time.

Give Directions (For Her)
He may not like asking for directions in real life, but chances are he'll be a willing listener in the bedroom. Tell him exactly what you want and don't leave anything to guess work.

That's really the general tone of all of them. Oh, and make sure you have a selection of silk scarves, feathers, and whipped cream at your disposal. They make rare appearances through the deck. A lot of these cards were way too silly to be taken seriously. If my partner had that response to me asking him if he finished the orange juice I'd tell him to knock it off and go buy some because I was thirsty. If I was sitting there rubbing lotion on myself and messing with my clothes it probably wouldn't even raise an eyebrow. Besides, how are those things kinky? They're more weird than anything. Plus, doesn't every couple already have that "code" in place? Is "gentle anal stimulation" really that outside the box? And come on, communicating in the bedroom is a requirement for any good sex. That's nothing kinky, either!

Everything comes in a cardboard box thingy that you see in that product photo up there. Inside you find your 52 cards and a satin drawstring bag to keep them all in. When you first get the cards you'll have to sit there and tear them all apart. Throw them in the bag and you're ready to go!

Each card is a scratch off. It adds a little bit of mystery and excitement to the mix and assures that no one gets a peek at what's in store for them. The cards are also written in both English and French. Maybe you could try reading one in your best French accent? Try to learn some new words? Once you've scratched off all of the cards you can toss them back in the bag and use them over again (if they don't bore you to death.)

Let me just say that I do have a bit of a bias here because I'm a relatively advanced kinkster here. I do take that into consideration, though.

I'm not sure what I expected from these. Sure, I knew that they'd probably be a little too "light" for my tastes, but I was hoping for inspiration. Maybe something I could take to the next level? That's not what I found here. Here is what my cards would have looked like:

Write down 10 fetishes or activities that you haven't explored yet and put the slips of paper into an envelope. Each night one of you will blindly pick a piece of paper out of the envelope and spend the day secretly planning out how to make this scenario happen later in the evening. (Gather accessories, plan a trip to a location, etc.)

Is one of you always the leader while the other follows along? For tonight try to reverse the roles. Step outside your comfort zone and give it all you've got. You never know, you might like it!

Things like this apply to everyone regardless of their level of experience, tastes, gender, or sexual preferences. You know what? Maybe I'll make my own version of these.

Here's a nice little story:

It's 4:30am and I'm getting sleepy. I had spent the evening texting a guy I'd been dating for about a month or so. I'm about ready to fall asleep when I get a text saying that he's coming over to give me a massage. Lovely! Of course I giggled at his obvious ulterior motives.

About 30 minutes later he tiptoes into my bedroom. We chat a little and I pull these out saying I was curious about them and wanted to see what surprised they had in store. I fished out a "For Her" and a "For Him" card. Both of us excitedly scratched them off and had the same look on our faces. "Ummm . . . let's try again. This card sucks." We picked two more. "Okay, one more time . . . wait, this one is just weird." Sooner than later we ended up scratching off half of the cards and laughing at how lame they were. I mean, it was a bonding experience, but not the one we were hoping for.