For the price, the Crotch Massager is a blast. It's cute, quirky, and most importantly functional. With a fresh battery, it has plenty of juice to get you going and get you off. As the battery life fades, the power of the toy does, too, but that's easily rectified — just pop in another battery and keep going!

It might be the right size for minor G-spot stimulation, but I didn't use it internally much, since I'm accustomed to something much larger in girth. The vibrations were strong enough to be effective even once inserted, but it's definitely best applied to the clit. A slightly pointed tip makes direct clitoral stimulation easy, though it's also pleasurable when held lengthwise, especially when sitting with it beneath you and grinding against it.

The on/off function is a simple twist of the base, which isn't my favorite, but when manipulated correctly, it can make for some fine control of the vibration speed. Get it twisted just right, and light presses on the base with your fingers can jar it on and off for small jolts of stimulation. Twist it loosely and you've got a lower-speed vibration for a slow build-up, then you can tighten it up to get down to business.

It's hard plastic (my favorite) and smooth, so it's simple to clean with just some wipes or a damp cloth. I did use it once in the shower, keeping it away from the direct spray, and it still functions fine. A little moisture doesn't hurt it, but I wouldn't recommend it for submersion or heavy duty under the shower head, due to the design.

The noise ratings, though? They're not kidding. This baby is pretty noisy, for such a little thing. I don't live alone, so it keeps me from using it too often, but it's not a deal breaker, as far as I'm concerned. For the price and the power, I couldn't say no.

Having used this little guy more now, the shine has worn off somewhat, but I haven't discovered anything that's really changed my feelings about it.

One important note: it eats through batteries pretty fast. I don't use it that often, but I've had to change the battery several times. On the other hand, it only uses one AA battery, so they're not hard to replace.

My only other complaint is that it's not large enough in either girth or length to do much good when inserted. That's not the product's fault, though - I just need to buy a bigger vibrator!

Besides its battery consumption, it's held up well under use.