Pirates seems to be somewhat of a parody of Pirates of the Caribbean, meaning you'll need a sense of humor to appreciate it. There is a fair share of mediocre acting, and the special effects aren't overly spectacular, but it's quite fun to watch and sets a standard in the porn industry that other studios might do well to follow. The plot is decent and includes an ample amount of sex scenes (both guy/girl and girl/girl) interwoven in a manner that does not let you lose site of the storyline. There is just enough dialog to move the tale along, yet not so much that it became boring.

The story itself is about the evil pirate Victor Stagnetti, who is on a quest for the Sceptre of Inca, which will give him great powers. He attacks the ship of a newlywed couple because he needs the husband to help him take possession of the sceptre. Stagnetti kidnaps the man, throws the wife overboard, and destroys the ship.

Meanwhile, bumbling pirate hunter Edward Reynolds is floating around with his crew, not able to find any pirate ships, when they come across the wife floating on a board. She tells them her story, and Reynolds reluctantly sets out after Stagnetti. What follows is an adventure full of lusty pirates, hot wenches, and plenty of sex.

The scenery and costumes through it all are very well done, as is the lighting, and the musical scores were fitting to the theme. We were pleasantly surprised by the sound and picture quality as well, which is every bit as nice as what you'll find in most non-porn movies. Even in the outdoor scenes, the flesh tones and background colors are realistic. All in all, Pirates is comedy, adventure and sex that comes together in a movie that holds your interest right to the end.

Michele says:
I really liked this movie, even when some of the acting was bad. It managed to be both amusing and sexy at the same time... not too many films can boast that! I've heard that there is now even an R-rated version of Pirates, which comes as no surprise since the plot is solid enough to stand on its own without the sex. However, I'll pass on that version, because I felt that the sex scenes were arousing and well done, and each one was very fitting for its spot in the story.

I was particularly impressed by the fact that the movie did not have that cheap indoor studio feel to it. Quite a bit was filmed in outdoor locations, with some parts being on a real pirate ship, and the lighting for wherever they were always seemed "real."

If there was one thing that I truly didn't like about the movie, it was the spitting. There was a bit too much of that for my personal liking, particularly since it was the girls doing it, but I still enjoyed the show and felt it was well worth the money.

Alan says:
Pirates was an enjoyable movie, entertaining enough that we didn't use the Fast Forward button even once, which we often do with porn. It got really corny at times, but that's part of its charm. Michele and I have spent decades watching the standard "lick & stick" variety of porn, so for us Pirates it was a refreshing break from the norm.

If you're looking for a movie full of endless hard-core porn, to inspire a quick wank, this one probably won't fit the bill. But if you're feeling a bit more light-hearted and would enjoy something with a real story to it, Pirates sails in with high marks.