As my first adult movie, I couldn't help but feel a tingle of excitement as I opened the box containing Amorous Sexcapades by Playgirl DVD, distributed by Wicked Pictures. The cover is a simple black and white photo of a man and woman; very classy I thought (honestly, some covers you see out there just make you shake your head in wonder). My husband and I put the DVD in, and settled down on the couch for what we hoped would be a thrilling first time into the adult film world.

Boy, were we wrong.

As the main menu sprang to life, again came the same image that is on the front covers. As animation, flames roared at the bottom of the screen. The music that accompanies this shouldn't ever, EVER, be related to sex. It should instead be with some movie that's set in the 1800's. You can cruise through the Special Features or go straight through to the film. If you do nothing, the DVD will flash through tons of shots, say something about Playgirl TV, and proceed to introduce the actors and actresses.

The film itself is broken up into six scenes; each one to represent a different fantasy, I believe. The first is kink, and terribly, titled “Kinks and Chains”. There is no musical cohesion nor does it have any real relation to the sexual acts being preformed. The narration, though done in a sexy voice, doesn't exactly draw you in. The star emerges to see her prisoner “in chains” (though it is obscenely obvious he's holding on), and begins. There is some foreplay, oral sex on both, then the sex starts, ending as always it seems with the man ejaculating on her tits. The lighting is overdone and really takes away from the acts in a horrid distraction. For a femdom fantasy, our “mistress” didn't appear to be in control as much as you'd think, and seems to play more of a secondary role.

Our second short film, is called “Cabin Fever” and is a interracial scene. I'm not saying that everyone has a problem with this, but for my husband and I, it doesn't exactly get our motors running. The music is slow, and gets old very fast. The set is well put together, a beautiful moonlit night in front of a raging fire. Symbolism perhaps? The scenario, to me, always seems more believable with a well put together set. The low lighting fit the environment well, and was shot well. The sex? It starts out with some fellatio, cunnilingus, a little bit of grinding and some softer sex.

I can't even begin to understand the fantasy behind our third film “Hot Rod Lover”. First comes cunnilingus, then she's blowing him, and it ends with the two having sex on a car. The effects are over the top and pointless. I thought only Jesus could walk on water. There is no audio and the narration takes away from the “absolute freedom” fantasy. Horrible. Skip this one.

Scene 4 is the fabulous “sex with a coworker” fantasy, but honestly they could have picked a better scenario. The two are auto mechanics (not saying a woman can't be an auto mechanic, but when you see this you'll agree it was a bad choice, trust me). There is actual dialogue in this one, whith very low music that doesn't take too much away from the film itself. The sex? The same as the others. Couldn't see that one coming. This one is better than some others, but still lacking in anything remotely arousing, for us at least.

Our fifth scene, called “Watching Him Play”, revolves around the sex with a rock-star fantasy, and maybe just a touch of male dominance. Who hasn't had this one? I think out of all, it was my favorite, because there were several believable female orgasms. There weren't any corny special effects, but the guy had a tramp stamp. Tats can be hot on guys, just not there. It threw me off entirely. How does the fun go? She blows him, he eats her out, they fuck. Enough said.

The last film is titled “Incandescent Love”, and is possible the worst of all. The man is roped with rope lights, and that in itself really distracts you from their lovemaking, as you can't see anything but the glare of the lights. What happens? She blows him (Wow!), he eats her out (Yay!), and ends in sex (Amazing!) Towards the end, the music softens, and the audio took over, a fitting ending.

All in all, don't buy this. The narration is distracting, most of the time the lights are jarring, and the music has no flow. Unless you're actually looking for a film that has each sex scene basically the same, I would recommend something different.