The Masseuse 3 The Masseuse 3

Erotic novel
by

Dude, Where's My Massage?

Yes, there was one small scene of a massage. But when a title features ‘Masseuse' in it, you expect the plot to focus around massaging. It isn't the worst porn DVD I have had the displeasure of sitting through but it is a little bit of a snooze fest. The sex scenes are pretty much the same with no anal penetration. If you're looking for something relatively simple, then perhaps you'll enjoy this.
Published:
Pros
~ Massage scene
~ DVD and Blu-Ray
Cons
~ No real spice
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review
INTRODUCTORY:

Masseuse 3 is a Digital Playground film produced by Robby D. Touch.
The movie starts out with a paranoid looking Kayden who is decked out in a skimpy camouflage top and shorts. She is packing a toy gun as she greets her masseuse. She behaves like a crazy women while she interrogates him.

Kayden and Scott: Oral, Vaginal penetration, Facial

Kayden orders Scott to strip but before he could complete the order by removing his shorts, she pushes him back onto a couch. The two of them enjoy the pleasures of oral before moving onto various penetration positions. Kayden finishes Scott off with a blowjob that results in a facial.

Yurizan and Tony: Oral, Fingering, Vaginal penetration

The scene jumps straight into Yurizan and Tony making out on a bed. This couple don't waste any time getting stuck into performing oral on each other and then moving onto the hard stuff.

Unfortunately the bed is damn noisy in this scene while Yurizan is on top. She brings him to explosion with her mouth.

Samantha and James: Oral, Vaginal penetration, Spit, Anal fingering

This scene doesn't have the greatest start as Samantha is in a foul mood over her roommate/ex boyfriend when James walks in carrying his massage table. Fortunately, her negativity doesn't last too long once the sex starts but it does start off on a bad note which sets the whole mood for me. He makes her melt with a hand massage before progressing to oral. Most of the positions take place up against a wall and they finish off on a nearby couch. James cums over Samantha's chest.

Again there is a shot where we get an ultra close up of James' facial hair instead of watching what Samantha was doing with his penis.

Francesca and Mick: Vaginal penetration, Oral, Facial

This scene starts off with Francesca playing the dominant role as she tells her doctor husband Mick that she wants sex right there in the office while his patients wait. Kayden happens to be in the waiting room when Francesca tells her the doctor will need 10 – 15 minutes. She then proceeds to seduce Mick with kissing as they undress. Francesca ‘tries' to control her loud moans as she enjoys the intense pleasure of his tongue on her clitoris. There are a few different penetrative positions before Mick delivers a facial.

Kayden and Mick: Oral, Vaginal penetration, Facial

This last scene starts off with Kayden showing two potential male buyers around a house. Before they can really start the tour, a masseuse turns up. As with most porn, the acting is rather poor where the plot is concerned. Kayden ends up in the main bedroom with James, the masseuse. It was nice to finally see a massage seen and to my surprise there was nothing sexual about it; simply sensual with soft music in the background.
Once James leaves, Mick heads for the room where he awakens his patient with gentle brushes of his hand over her body. Kayden's crazy side starts to make an appearance again as she talks the doctor into having sex with her. It works and he dives into orally pleasing her. They enjoy a range of positions and Kayden receives a facial.

PACKAGING:

Masseuse 3 came shrink wrapped inside a cardboard slip. Neither the front or the back covers are discreet in any way, with naked girls and guys proudly displaying everything they have. The front has a virtually naked Kayden Kross in the foreground, a massage image in the bottom left corner and a couple of sex scene shots in the background at the top. The back shows numerous scene shots and a small write up about the movie.

FEATURES & ACTORS:

Masseuse 3 comes as a set featuring both DVD and Blu-Ray. The movie plays for 2hrs, 33 minutes and has the following special features: Bonus Trailers, Photo Gallery and Behind The Scenes. Following is a list of the actors.
* Kayden Kross
* Francessca Le
* Samantha Ryan
* Yurizan Beltran
* James Dean
* Mick Blue
* Scott Nails
* Tony Ribas
Experience
EXPERIENCE:

I'm not a big fan of tattoos but the tiny paw tattoos on the top of Kayden's right foot are absolutely adorable!

Something I wasn't impressed with was silly shots that showed us nothing sexy while the couple enjoy a sexual act. For example in the first scene we get to watch the top of Scott's leg and Kayden's arm while she is performing oral. Hello! I want to see sucking action – not limbs!

My favorite scene is probably the last one, but I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to flick through the entire DVD to get to it. Personally I think it would have made for a better scene if James had of taken advantage of Kayden after massaging her. It would have continued the roll they produced with the massage. I could have pushed past the silly beginning of the scene, but having Dr. Mick in the actual sexual side of it kind of ruined it for me.

An even better ending would have been at least two of the guys having their way with her.

I giving this DVD a rating of 2 stars as I don't like misleading titles and it wasn't really my thing.
Follow-up commentary
Unfortunately, this is just another porn dud for me. I can't see me sitting through it again, unless I skip through to the last scene. But even that one lacked the oomph I look for in porn. I want porn to arouse me, not to bore me into a cat nap!

This one will be finding a new home. Bye-bye Masseuseless 3.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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This review was edited by
  • Darling Jen Contributor: Darling Jen
  • Rank:
    6.5 / 10
  • Edited reviews: 93
Comments
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  • Contributor: Beck
    Great review! I would of thought it was about massages also. Sorry it was not you thing, thanks for the review.
  • Contributor: married with children
    great review, thanks for sharing. I have seen alot of reviews written on this movie, and they have pretty much all thought the same things about it as you have. Not a movie I would go out and buy after reading the reviews.
  • Contributor: Shellz31
    Thanks both

    Fancy calling a movie Masseuse when there is all of one short massage involved. I don't think it was very well thought out.
    Normally there is a mix of reactions to the porn DVDs, but pretty much everyone feels the same on this one!
    I sure won't be buying any of the other Masseuse movies.....lol.
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