When I ordered Jenna Jameson's first pornographic adventure into BDSM, I'm not sure what I was expecting. I definitely wasn't expecting to be visually and mentally assaulted with a man-fantasy rendition of one of my absolute favorite movies. I suppose I should have. I was expecting something over-sexualized, story-less and badly acted, but still interesting. No such luck.

Burn seems to be the product of someone watching The Secretary one too many times without actually understanding it. They then took a few basic scenes from the movie, added Jenna Jameson, some horrible actors, and about an hours worth of completely unrelated sex scenes. Viola. Perfect SM movie turned every man's ridiculous fantasy.

Story-wise, Burn is about a woman named Erica who gets a job as an assistant and is introduced to BDSM. We are exposed to her bosses strict rules by his secretary (?) who then goes off to masturbate (unrealistically-when was the last time you gave your dildo a blow job without anyone watching?), and then disappears from the movie. In between arguments and lots of random sex with her girlfriend (Stephanie Swift), we are shown that Erica burns herself with cigarettes, hence the title. Her boss (played by her husband, I believe) tells her to stop, and at some point invites her to a BDSM orgy. Somehow by the end of the movie, Erica has fallen for her boss, and after her lesbian relationship ends, goes to him for comfort. When he denies her and fires her, she begs him to keep her, and (a la original) assumes a position and refuses to move. He then comes back to her, they have lots of sex (no orgasm for her!) and the movie ends with them happy together (and her ex angry in the mirror...???)
Confused? Yeah...maybe...but it is a porn film.

In the Behind-The-Scenes, Jenna says that she really wanted to do an “adult-take” on The Secretary to fill in the sexual gaps of the movie itself, and reviews of the movie make it sound like the best pornographic film around. It's bothering me a bit, because if this is what's considered good, I think I'll end my porn-explorations here. The tiny amount of actual storyline there is consists of a few actual conversations and no real development. I'm all for going “beyond” what the original movie could do, but this didn't really do that. It just put gratuitous sex into a movie with a few scenes based off of the original.

The girl-on-girl scenes approached decent for me (except for the over-abundance of anal licking and fingering), and I wish there had really been some affection and real development between Jenna and Stephanie. They could have been much hotter together. I must say I now adore Jenna, despite my dislike of the movie. Shes so pretty and happy and sweet (with such great tits), I can't help but like her.

Things that really bugged me: Jenna Jameson is the only decent actor in the entire movie. Not a single woman had an orgasm during the entire movie. You'd think with all the semen these guys squirt on the girls they're with, they could give them an orgasm at least once. Women always moan, even though they never once orgasm; no matter what's being done to them. Men never (and mean never) moan. What's up with that? No men are tied up and no one is actually whipped. The grainy, wanna-be-artist look became really annoying.

Full marks to Vivid for presentation. The flimsy looking box is actually shaped like an over-sized matchbook, which folds out to expose the DVD. I could do without the cum-covered penis shots on the back cover, but I'm sure that's what sells the movies.The Special Features is also well done. With a photo gallery, behind the scenes, previews of Vivid's other movies and products, extra scenes, as well as a Clip gallery called the “Position Room” where you can see all the sex clips, categorized by the sexual positions. Great extra features.

For the every day (male) porn connoisseur, I can't really judge this movie. As my first feature-length skin-flick, I have little to nothing to compare it to. For all I know, the reviews could be right and this could be the best BDSM porn in the last 10 years. I doubt it, but for all I know...

But on the other hand, as an every day, sex-loving porn-newbie. I can easily say how little I enjoyed it. If you like man-oriented, cock-chugging, anal-obsessed, cum-shot porn, then this is for you. If you don't, avoid this film as much as possible. Especially if you're new to the porn scene. This is not a good starter. I mean...why don't the girls orgasm?? That really bothers me.