Hi. I hope nobody minds this question, but how do you choose the toy size that will fit your body? I’m a virgin in that I have never had a partner before but there are so many toys that I have bought that I can’t use because they don’t work with my body. It’s so frustrating looking for toys and not knowing if they will work for me. I’m tired of not knowing or choosing something that doesn’t work for me. Any suggestions or tips or advice? less

Hi Bash!

Based on your phrasing I am guessing you might be a part of the vagina club, in which case the below would be (hopefully) applicable/helpful for you. Unfortunately I have way less tips for someone with a penis- other than injury related -- but in my experience (and from what all of my guy friends have said) - think it tends to be easier for them anyways

So for those of us with a vagina at least, it is a matter of trial and error finding what toys work for you and almost no one likes them at first because while you test the toys you are learning about your body.

A few introductory tips:

Do not under-estimate the importance of the environment. Wine and dine yourself so to speak. Make sure you are somewhere you are comfortable, have plenty of privacy-- it will go a long way with getting your brain to allow your body to enjoy the experience. Find things you personally find arousing -- don't just go by what you think you should use/other people have said. A lot of women like audio porn or romance novels, just utilizing their imagination, or playing an interactive game to help engage that part of their brain. Limit distractions that might break you from your mood/progress.


Clean your toys before and after (that's from the nurse in me)

Pee before you play - since the urethra is close to the clit, a lot of women have the urge to pee when using a toy

Use lube generously [italic(water based for any silicone toys)] -- even if you are someone who produces plenty of your own, toys tend to dry you out compared to interacting with another person.

--- If you use heating, cooling, or other special featured lube - test it out in a small way first and be somewhere you could rinse it thoroughly if needed - not everyone responds to them the same way and it can be uncomfortable

Some women warm up better touching other areas of their body with the toys before using them on the main evet - this does not really matter/work for me - but its worth a try

Take your time -- it isn't a race and for a lot of us it takes a lot longer with toys than the real thing


(This one doesn't apply to you yet but for anyone else or for your future reference) Go for a toy smaller than your human penis preference - our bodies respond differently to the artificial

Try different toys - and come back around to ones you may have previously rejected as you learn your body and its responses more

Most women get the most sensation/orgasm potential from the clitoris - so while you are learning what you like I would focus on things that stimulate the clit. (Even better if there is also a penetration option - so you can do both at once.)
Also no shade make sure you know where your clit is look at a diagram while looking at yourself with a mirror or the camera on your phone. Become familiar with it and its responses with your fingers before you add in a toy.

Another benefit of starting with clit stimulating toys - you don't need worry about the size as much

I highly recommend the intimate diver (a toy you wear on your finger) for everyone - but especially someone learning their body and toy preferences-- it can be a real game changer less

Hi Bash!

Based on your phrasing I am guessing you might be a part of the vagina club, in which case the below would be (hopefully) applicable/helpful for you. Unfortunately I have way less tips for someone with a penis- other than injury related -- but in my experience (and from what all of my guy friends have said) - think it tends to be easier for them anyways

So for those of us with a vagina at least, it is a matter of trial and error finding what toys work for you and almost no one likes them at first because while you test the toys you are learning about your body.

A few introductory tips:

Do not under-estimate the importance of the environment. Wine and dine yourself so to speak. Make sure you are somewhere you are comfortable, have plenty of privacy-- it will go a long way with getting your brain to allow your body to enjoy the experience. Find things you personally find arousing -- don't just go by what you think you should use/other people have said. A lot of women like audio porn or romance novels, just utilizing their imagination, or playing an interactive game to help engage that part of their brain. Limit distractions that might break you from your mood/progress.


Clean your toys before and after (that's from the nurse in me)

Pee before you play - since the urethra is close to the clit, a lot of women have the urge to pee when using a toy

Use lube generously [italic(water based for any silicone toys)] -- even if you are someone who produces plenty of your own, toys tend to dry you out compared to interacting with another person.

--- If you use heating, cooling, or other special featured lube - test it out in a small way first and be somewhere you could rinse it thoroughly if needed - not everyone responds to them the same way and it can be uncomfortable

Some women warm up better touching other areas of their body with the toys before using them on the main evet - this does not really matter/work for me - but its worth a try

Take your time -- it isn't a race and for a lot of us it takes a lot longer with toys than the real thing


(This one doesn't apply to you yet but for anyone else or for your future reference) Go for a toy smaller than your human penis preference - our bodies respond differently to the artificial

Try different toys - and come back around to ones you may have previously rejected as you learn your body and its responses more

Most women get the most sensation/orgasm potential from the clitoris - so while you are learning what you like I would focus on things that stimulate the clit. (Even better if there is also a penetration option - so you can do both at once.)
Also no shade make sure you know where your clit is look at a diagram while looking at yourself with a mirror or the camera on your phone. Become familiar with it and its responses with your fingers before you add in a toy.

Another benefit of starting with clit stimulating toys - you don't need worry about the size as much

I highly recommend the intimate diver (a toy you wear on your finger) for everyone - but especially someone learning their body and toy preferences-- it can be a real game changer less

Hi! Thank you for all your help!

You guessed correctly, although I am trans masculine, and ace. I hate the idea of penetration that I can’t control. But sometimes I just want a little more and I know toys are the key but I’m also disabled with tight muscles and so toy size is intimidating, frightening, and infuriating all at once. I will definitely look into the toy you suggested as a starting point. Thank you! less