Hi. I hope nobody minds this question, but how do you choose the toy size that will fit your body? I’m a virgin in that I have never had a partner before but there are so many toys that I have bought that I can’t use because they don’t work with my body. It’s so frustrating looking for toys and not knowing if they will work for me. I’m tired of not knowing or choosing something that doesn’t work for me. Any suggestions or tips or advice?
How to choose toy size?
04/06/2023
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Quote:
Hi Bash!
Originally posted by
Bash323
Hi. I hope nobody minds this question, but how do you choose the toy size that will fit your body? I’m a virgin in that I have never had a partner before but there are so many toys that I have bought that I can’t use because they don’t work with my
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more
Hi. I hope nobody minds this question, but how do you choose the toy size that will fit your body? I’m a virgin in that I have never had a partner before but there are so many toys that I have bought that I can’t use because they don’t work with my body. It’s so frustrating looking for toys and not knowing if they will work for me. I’m tired of not knowing or choosing something that doesn’t work for me. Any suggestions or tips or advice?
less
Based on your phrasing I am guessing you might be a part of the vagina club, in which case the below would be (hopefully) applicable/helpful for you. Unfortunately I have way less tips for someone with a penis- other than injury related -- but in my experience (and from what all of my guy friends have said) - think it tends to be easier for them anyways
So for those of us with a vagina at least, it is a matter of trial and error finding what toys work for you and almost no one likes them at first because while you test the toys you are learning about your body.
A few introductory tips:
Do not under-estimate the importance of the environment. Wine and dine yourself so to speak. Make sure you are somewhere you are comfortable, have plenty of privacy-- it will go a long way with getting your brain to allow your body to enjoy the experience. Find things you personally find arousing -- don't just go by what you think you should use/other people have said. A lot of women like audio porn or romance novels, just utilizing their imagination, or playing an interactive game to help engage that part of their brain. Limit distractions that might break you from your mood/progress.
Clean your toys before and after (that's from the nurse in me)
Pee before you play - since the urethra is close to the clit, a lot of women have the urge to pee when using a toy
Use lube generously [italic(water based for any silicone toys)] -- even if you are someone who produces plenty of your own, toys tend to dry you out compared to interacting with another person.
--- If you use heating, cooling, or other special featured lube - test it out in a small way first and be somewhere you could rinse it thoroughly if needed - not everyone responds to them the same way and it can be uncomfortable
Some women warm up better touching other areas of their body with the toys before using them on the main evet - this does not really matter/work for me - but its worth a try
Take your time -- it isn't a race and for a lot of us it takes a lot longer with toys than the real thing
(This one doesn't apply to you yet but for anyone else or for your future reference) Go for a toy smaller than your human penis preference - our bodies respond differently to the artificial
Try different toys - and come back around to ones you may have previously rejected as you learn your body and its responses more
Most women get the most sensation/orgasm potential from the clitoris - so while you are learning what you like I would focus on things that stimulate the clit. (Even better if there is also a penetration option - so you can do both at once.)
Also no shade make sure you know where your clit is look at a diagram while looking at yourself with a mirror or the camera on your phone. Become familiar with it and its responses with your fingers before you add in a toy.
Another benefit of starting with clit stimulating toys - you don't need worry about the size as much
I highly recommend the intimate diver (a toy you wear on your finger) for everyone - but especially someone learning their body and toy preferences-- it can be a real game changer
04/13/2023
Quote:
Hi! Thank you for all your help!
Originally posted by
mentalhealthmatters
Hi Bash!
Based on your phrasing I am guessing you might be a part of the vagina club, in which case the below would be (hopefully) applicable/helpful for you. Unfortunately I have way less tips for someone with a penis- other than injury ... more
Based on your phrasing I am guessing you might be a part of the vagina club, in which case the below would be (hopefully) applicable/helpful for you. Unfortunately I have way less tips for someone with a penis- other than injury ... more
Hi Bash!
Based on your phrasing I am guessing you might be a part of the vagina club, in which case the below would be (hopefully) applicable/helpful for you. Unfortunately I have way less tips for someone with a penis- other than injury related -- but in my experience (and from what all of my guy friends have said) - think it tends to be easier for them anyways
So for those of us with a vagina at least, it is a matter of trial and error finding what toys work for you and almost no one likes them at first because while you test the toys you are learning about your body.
A few introductory tips:
Do not under-estimate the importance of the environment. Wine and dine yourself so to speak. Make sure you are somewhere you are comfortable, have plenty of privacy-- it will go a long way with getting your brain to allow your body to enjoy the experience. Find things you personally find arousing -- don't just go by what you think you should use/other people have said. A lot of women like audio porn or romance novels, just utilizing their imagination, or playing an interactive game to help engage that part of their brain. Limit distractions that might break you from your mood/progress.
Clean your toys before and after (that's from the nurse in me)
Pee before you play - since the urethra is close to the clit, a lot of women have the urge to pee when using a toy
Use lube generously [italic(water based for any silicone toys)] -- even if you are someone who produces plenty of your own, toys tend to dry you out compared to interacting with another person.
--- If you use heating, cooling, or other special featured lube - test it out in a small way first and be somewhere you could rinse it thoroughly if needed - not everyone responds to them the same way and it can be uncomfortable
Some women warm up better touching other areas of their body with the toys before using them on the main evet - this does not really matter/work for me - but its worth a try
Take your time -- it isn't a race and for a lot of us it takes a lot longer with toys than the real thing
(This one doesn't apply to you yet but for anyone else or for your future reference) Go for a toy smaller than your human penis preference - our bodies respond differently to the artificial
Try different toys - and come back around to ones you may have previously rejected as you learn your body and its responses more
Most women get the most sensation/orgasm potential from the clitoris - so while you are learning what you like I would focus on things that stimulate the clit. (Even better if there is also a penetration option - so you can do both at once.)
Also no shade make sure you know where your clit is look at a diagram while looking at yourself with a mirror or the camera on your phone. Become familiar with it and its responses with your fingers before you add in a toy.
Another benefit of starting with clit stimulating toys - you don't need worry about the size as much
I highly recommend the intimate diver (a toy you wear on your finger) for everyone - but especially someone learning their body and toy preferences-- it can be a real game changer less
Based on your phrasing I am guessing you might be a part of the vagina club, in which case the below would be (hopefully) applicable/helpful for you. Unfortunately I have way less tips for someone with a penis- other than injury related -- but in my experience (and from what all of my guy friends have said) - think it tends to be easier for them anyways
So for those of us with a vagina at least, it is a matter of trial and error finding what toys work for you and almost no one likes them at first because while you test the toys you are learning about your body.
A few introductory tips:
Do not under-estimate the importance of the environment. Wine and dine yourself so to speak. Make sure you are somewhere you are comfortable, have plenty of privacy-- it will go a long way with getting your brain to allow your body to enjoy the experience. Find things you personally find arousing -- don't just go by what you think you should use/other people have said. A lot of women like audio porn or romance novels, just utilizing their imagination, or playing an interactive game to help engage that part of their brain. Limit distractions that might break you from your mood/progress.
Clean your toys before and after (that's from the nurse in me)
Pee before you play - since the urethra is close to the clit, a lot of women have the urge to pee when using a toy
Use lube generously [italic(water based for any silicone toys)] -- even if you are someone who produces plenty of your own, toys tend to dry you out compared to interacting with another person.
--- If you use heating, cooling, or other special featured lube - test it out in a small way first and be somewhere you could rinse it thoroughly if needed - not everyone responds to them the same way and it can be uncomfortable
Some women warm up better touching other areas of their body with the toys before using them on the main evet - this does not really matter/work for me - but its worth a try
Take your time -- it isn't a race and for a lot of us it takes a lot longer with toys than the real thing
(This one doesn't apply to you yet but for anyone else or for your future reference) Go for a toy smaller than your human penis preference - our bodies respond differently to the artificial
Try different toys - and come back around to ones you may have previously rejected as you learn your body and its responses more
Most women get the most sensation/orgasm potential from the clitoris - so while you are learning what you like I would focus on things that stimulate the clit. (Even better if there is also a penetration option - so you can do both at once.)
Also no shade make sure you know where your clit is look at a diagram while looking at yourself with a mirror or the camera on your phone. Become familiar with it and its responses with your fingers before you add in a toy.
Another benefit of starting with clit stimulating toys - you don't need worry about the size as much
I highly recommend the intimate diver (a toy you wear on your finger) for everyone - but especially someone learning their body and toy preferences-- it can be a real game changer less
You guessed correctly, although I am trans masculine, and ace. I hate the idea of penetration that I can’t control. But sometimes I just want a little more and I know toys are the key but I’m also disabled with tight muscles and so toy size is intimidating, frightening, and infuriating all at once. I will definitely look into the toy you suggested as a starting point. Thank you!
04/15/2023
Quote:
Also, how can I use lube without making a mess? I know I should use it but I don’t because I’m scared of making a mess as I don’t do my own laundry.
Originally posted by
mentalhealthmatters
Hi Bash!
Based on your phrasing I am guessing you might be a part of the vagina club, in which case the below would be (hopefully) applicable/helpful for you. Unfortunately I have way less tips for someone with a penis- other than injury ... more
Based on your phrasing I am guessing you might be a part of the vagina club, in which case the below would be (hopefully) applicable/helpful for you. Unfortunately I have way less tips for someone with a penis- other than injury ... more
Hi Bash!
Based on your phrasing I am guessing you might be a part of the vagina club, in which case the below would be (hopefully) applicable/helpful for you. Unfortunately I have way less tips for someone with a penis- other than injury related -- but in my experience (and from what all of my guy friends have said) - think it tends to be easier for them anyways
So for those of us with a vagina at least, it is a matter of trial and error finding what toys work for you and almost no one likes them at first because while you test the toys you are learning about your body.
A few introductory tips:
Do not under-estimate the importance of the environment. Wine and dine yourself so to speak. Make sure you are somewhere you are comfortable, have plenty of privacy-- it will go a long way with getting your brain to allow your body to enjoy the experience. Find things you personally find arousing -- don't just go by what you think you should use/other people have said. A lot of women like audio porn or romance novels, just utilizing their imagination, or playing an interactive game to help engage that part of their brain. Limit distractions that might break you from your mood/progress.
Clean your toys before and after (that's from the nurse in me)
Pee before you play - since the urethra is close to the clit, a lot of women have the urge to pee when using a toy
Use lube generously [italic(water based for any silicone toys)] -- even if you are someone who produces plenty of your own, toys tend to dry you out compared to interacting with another person.
--- If you use heating, cooling, or other special featured lube - test it out in a small way first and be somewhere you could rinse it thoroughly if needed - not everyone responds to them the same way and it can be uncomfortable
Some women warm up better touching other areas of their body with the toys before using them on the main evet - this does not really matter/work for me - but its worth a try
Take your time -- it isn't a race and for a lot of us it takes a lot longer with toys than the real thing
(This one doesn't apply to you yet but for anyone else or for your future reference) Go for a toy smaller than your human penis preference - our bodies respond differently to the artificial
Try different toys - and come back around to ones you may have previously rejected as you learn your body and its responses more
Most women get the most sensation/orgasm potential from the clitoris - so while you are learning what you like I would focus on things that stimulate the clit. (Even better if there is also a penetration option - so you can do both at once.)
Also no shade make sure you know where your clit is look at a diagram while looking at yourself with a mirror or the camera on your phone. Become familiar with it and its responses with your fingers before you add in a toy.
Another benefit of starting with clit stimulating toys - you don't need worry about the size as much
I highly recommend the intimate diver (a toy you wear on your finger) for everyone - but especially someone learning their body and toy preferences-- it can be a real game changer less
Based on your phrasing I am guessing you might be a part of the vagina club, in which case the below would be (hopefully) applicable/helpful for you. Unfortunately I have way less tips for someone with a penis- other than injury related -- but in my experience (and from what all of my guy friends have said) - think it tends to be easier for them anyways
So for those of us with a vagina at least, it is a matter of trial and error finding what toys work for you and almost no one likes them at first because while you test the toys you are learning about your body.
A few introductory tips:
Do not under-estimate the importance of the environment. Wine and dine yourself so to speak. Make sure you are somewhere you are comfortable, have plenty of privacy-- it will go a long way with getting your brain to allow your body to enjoy the experience. Find things you personally find arousing -- don't just go by what you think you should use/other people have said. A lot of women like audio porn or romance novels, just utilizing their imagination, or playing an interactive game to help engage that part of their brain. Limit distractions that might break you from your mood/progress.
Clean your toys before and after (that's from the nurse in me)
Pee before you play - since the urethra is close to the clit, a lot of women have the urge to pee when using a toy
Use lube generously [italic(water based for any silicone toys)] -- even if you are someone who produces plenty of your own, toys tend to dry you out compared to interacting with another person.
--- If you use heating, cooling, or other special featured lube - test it out in a small way first and be somewhere you could rinse it thoroughly if needed - not everyone responds to them the same way and it can be uncomfortable
Some women warm up better touching other areas of their body with the toys before using them on the main evet - this does not really matter/work for me - but its worth a try
Take your time -- it isn't a race and for a lot of us it takes a lot longer with toys than the real thing
(This one doesn't apply to you yet but for anyone else or for your future reference) Go for a toy smaller than your human penis preference - our bodies respond differently to the artificial
Try different toys - and come back around to ones you may have previously rejected as you learn your body and its responses more
Most women get the most sensation/orgasm potential from the clitoris - so while you are learning what you like I would focus on things that stimulate the clit. (Even better if there is also a penetration option - so you can do both at once.)
Also no shade make sure you know where your clit is look at a diagram while looking at yourself with a mirror or the camera on your phone. Become familiar with it and its responses with your fingers before you add in a toy.
Another benefit of starting with clit stimulating toys - you don't need worry about the size as much
I highly recommend the intimate diver (a toy you wear on your finger) for everyone - but especially someone learning their body and toy preferences-- it can be a real game changer less
04/15/2023
Quote:
So you can use the toy in the shower/tub and avoid mess.
Originally posted by
Bash323
Also, how can I use lube without making a mess? I know I should use it but I don’t because I’m scared of making a mess as I don’t do my own laundry.
I also suggest putting a towel down - and then it is not obvious its lube, at least for some kinds (depending on texture).
This one doesn't seem to be a specifically lube texture on towels (and happens to be on sale right now)
link
I initially started out with a small amount (like a couple drops) and applied directly to the toy, but definitely found more lube (essentially coated the the toy with a thin layer so it would not drip off) increased the toys effectivity. It really depends on the toy and your preference though.
04/17/2023
Quote:
Ya this is why I went with the vagina club specification rather than simply saying male/female.
Originally posted by
Bash323
Hi! Thank you for all your help!
You guessed correctly, although I am trans masculine, and ace. I hate the idea of penetration that I can’t control. But sometimes I just want a little more and I know toys are the key but I’m also disabled with ... more
You guessed correctly, although I am trans masculine, and ace. I hate the idea of penetration that I can’t control. But sometimes I just want a little more and I know toys are the key but I’m also disabled with ... more
Hi! Thank you for all your help!
You guessed correctly, although I am trans masculine, and ace. I hate the idea of penetration that I can’t control. But sometimes I just want a little more and I know toys are the key but I’m also disabled with tight muscles and so toy size is intimidating, frightening, and infuriating all at once. I will definitely look into the toy you suggested as a starting point. Thank you! less
You guessed correctly, although I am trans masculine, and ace. I hate the idea of penetration that I can’t control. But sometimes I just want a little more and I know toys are the key but I’m also disabled with tight muscles and so toy size is intimidating, frightening, and infuriating all at once. I will definitely look into the toy you suggested as a starting point. Thank you! less
(I meant to use 'women' only for the psychological factors as they are the most common to report those, not impossible for others, but don't think I was entirely consistent)
But recommendations obviously can vary based on anatomy as well as the way our brain works. Since you identify as ACE, the audio porn/romance novels may be less appealing to you - again just listen to your own body and find what works for you
04/17/2023
Quote:
A few pieces of advice:
Originally posted by
Bash323
Hi! Thank you for all your help!
You guessed correctly, although I am trans masculine, and ace. I hate the idea of penetration that I can’t control. But sometimes I just want a little more and I know toys are the key but I’m also disabled with ... more
You guessed correctly, although I am trans masculine, and ace. I hate the idea of penetration that I can’t control. But sometimes I just want a little more and I know toys are the key but I’m also disabled with ... more
Hi! Thank you for all your help!
You guessed correctly, although I am trans masculine, and ace. I hate the idea of penetration that I can’t control. But sometimes I just want a little more and I know toys are the key but I’m also disabled with tight muscles and so toy size is intimidating, frightening, and infuriating all at once. I will definitely look into the toy you suggested as a starting point. Thank you! less
You guessed correctly, although I am trans masculine, and ace. I hate the idea of penetration that I can’t control. But sometimes I just want a little more and I know toys are the key but I’m also disabled with tight muscles and so toy size is intimidating, frightening, and infuriating all at once. I will definitely look into the toy you suggested as a starting point. Thank you! less
1) Especially since you have tight muscles, it's going to be essential for you to warm up really well. I would start out with plenty of foreplay, making sure you are wet and relaxed. As another commenter mentioned, making sure you are in the mood with your favorite porn or fantasy is important. If possible, give yourself a clit-only orgasm before insertion, or at least spend plenty of time on the clit before moving to any penetrative toy. You can experiment with inserting a finger or two to gauge how the muscles feel. You want *lots* of moisture; if you don't naturally get very wet, or even if you do but just want to play it safe, coat your vaginal entrance and the toy you've selected in a few drops of lube (water-based lube if you're using a silicone toy). In my experience lube isn't very messy when used a few drops at a time, but putting down a towel is the easiest and most comfortable way IMO to avoid any messes on sheets if it worries you.
2) For actual size, i would suggest starting with a toy with a 1" to 1.25" diameter. Insertion length doesn't matter as much because you don't have to insert the toy all the way in, but you'll probably want something about 3-5" to start.
3) While textures like bumps, ridges, and veins can be very pleasurable, I would start with something that has very smooth textures. Sharper ridges/veins can make insertion more uncomfortable. You can also opt for a toy with no extra texture features to start with. I would DEFINITELY recommend silicone; aside from the fact that TPR/other "jelly" materials can be a health risk, they is also more likely to be sticky, whereas silicone has a silky feel that helps it slide in with minimal friction.
4) Don't put too much pressure on yourself to orgasm with the toy right away. Familiarize yourself with how it feels and what your body needs to get comfortable with it.
5) When actually inserting, I've found it best when I'm struggling to take a toy to insert it an inch or so, pull out a bit, and gently rock back and forth onto it bit by bit rather than trying to push it all the way in at once. Moving it gently in and out a little bit at a time like that will help your body adapt, and also "pulls" some of your natural wetness down so the toy and your vaginal canal stay nice and slick. You can also always pause to add more lube as well.
TOY RECS:
It's now unfortunately discontinued, but the G-rumble would have been my top pick for you, and I'll link it just so you can see what I mean. It doesn't have any texturing on it and is very slim: link
The G-Fun looks like it might be a comparable toy; it has a 4.5 insertable length and a diameter of 1+1/8". The head is curved for G-spot stimulation but there's no extra texturing that would cause friction.
link
I'd also suggest the Big O Flight. It has an insertable length of 3.5", a diameter of just 1", and has a clitoral attachment for dual stimulation. Aside from dual stimulation being great for combination C+G spot orgasms, it can also help relax the vagina.
link
Best of luck, I hope you find something that suits your needs! <3
04/30/2023
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 3