Since you've "choosen anal play" sad that you aren't bi. I suspect that you'd find many more active partners who also just happened to be male.

I'm disabled. But female and a lesbian. I wasn't born disabled myself though my disease is progressive. I was also already partnered before becoming disabled and she and I are still together, thankfully! I use a wheelchair too, due to muscle weakness. Also have a lot of major gut issues which is a bummer because I used to be a fan of anal play and not anymore. Plus I'm hooked up to an IV 24/7. Kind of annoying but amusing to get tangled up in tubing or have the pump start alarming because one of us is on top of the tubing.

I think being disabled we're a lot more creative sexually. Like gosh it was hard for awhile for me because I couldn't do things the way I used to and my stamina sucks a lot of the time. But like you I've learned to take advantage of the good days and just go for it when I'm feeling horny! Sometimes I just love to lay in bed naked with my wife. Or just kiss and caress. Heck a back massage can feel every bit as good as an orgasm and can be every bit as sexy too!

My hands cramp up and my arms are weak but my wife and I can get off pretty fabulously just rubbing against each other. I'm a lot more into sensual play now I think. I'm in pain a lot so the contrast maybe makes it feel even better. And orgasm is a lot less of the goal now than it used to be though I'm actually a lot more sensitive (maybe because of all the pain I normally have?). I don't know. I have neurological problems that definitely could cause less sensitivity or make it hard to orgasm but thank god that hasn't been the case! Its different though than how it used to be for sure. I can't even stand to use the same toys I used to and she had to learn to touch me differently. It was kind of like discovering my sexuality all over again! And things change a little as my illness does too.

I also have a wicked imagination. I'm not always up for it as much as my wife but I like to talk dirty to her or make up erotic stories or fantasies and tell them to her while she masturbates. It'd be so lonely for her if she was just always off masturbating alone but this way we're together even when I'm not feeling up to it and I can hold her after or even during which is nice too. Sometimes I end up getting turned on and joining too.

The hardest part is just that it wears me out after. I might be too weak and in too much pain the next day. Used to feel really guilty about that and I would try and hide my pain or exhaustion because I didn't want her to feel bad. But I think it's brought us closer. She's quite a bit older than me too so I think she's a lot more understanding maybe than someone my own age would be. Definitely can be really hard sometimes for both of us. I feel very very blessed to have her though. And having a healthy sex life helps me feel more "human" and normal. Helps me connect to my body in a good way. And my wife still turns me on very, very much!