The New Intimacy

Are you a virgin after you masturbate?

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Contributor: PussyPurr PussyPurr
For those of you who think that losing your virginity involves penetration, or penis-vagina contact, what about lesbians? Are they virgins for life??

Remember, sexuality and sexual behavior is rainbows within rainbows...there is such a wide spectrum of diversity. Don't limit your thinking to what's been culturally proscribed as "normal".
09/12/2011
Contributor: Joie de Cherresse Joie de Cherresse
I feel you are a virgin until you have actual intercourse with another person.
09/12/2011
Contributor: hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
I think virginity is lost after consensual sexual contact with a partner. It may technically be lost after non-consensual contact, but I think virginity also has an emotional connotation that can only be there with a partner you have chosen.

To me, all kinds of genital contact count - oral, mutual masturbation, anal, vaginal, penile, in whatever combination they happen to be in.
09/12/2011
Contributor: s<3x s<3x
definitely a virgin after masterbation. otherwise might as well not be a virgin if you hymen breaks from riding a bike or whatever.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Ash1141 Ash1141
I vote no...needs to be sex with a living partner
09/13/2011
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
If another person isn't involved, then you're still a virgin. Though really, I'm beginning to feel that virginity is a bit of an outdated concept. I still identify as one simply because I've never had a sexual partner. Once I find someone and we start fooling around, I'll probably drop the label, regardless of whether penetrative sex is involved or not.

And the whole thing about the hymen is just ridiculous. That sucker just doesn't work the way fiction often portrays it. If you can be born without one, then its status as a kind of "virginity indicator" needs to be discarded, and that's not even getting into the hymen tearing from gymnastics, etc.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
If you are talking about the actual act of breaking the hymen, then you can no longer be a virgin, if you fall off your bike wrong or whatever other way this can happen on accident. You are a virgin in my opinion until you have willing sex. Not even just the act of having sex, since this is taken away from some of us. Virgin in my opinion is a state of mind that is broken after you have willing sex. And for some it does not even necessarily happen the first time you have sex. This state of mind is the same when you first get with a new partner, you know that shy, excited, nervous feeling. Also even the first few times you have sex with anyone you can feel this way. This is what I believe to be virginity, not the actual act of breaking the hymen. Which can happen without you even knowing it.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Illumin8 Illumin8
I think that you're still a virgin until you have any type of sex (oral, anal, vaginal) with another human.
09/13/2011
Contributor: cheetahpita cheetahpita
No, I don't think masturbation, or even using insertional toys can be used to lose your virginity. Personally, I would say whenever you had sex (including oral, anal, PIV) with another person, you would no longer be a virgin.
09/13/2011
Contributor: WhoopieDoo WhoopieDoo
I know I didn't lose my virginity when I was 11!
09/13/2011
Contributor: Sinfully Sinfully
I believe you are a virgin up until you have penetrative sex with another human being.
09/13/2011
Contributor: hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Sinfully
I believe you are a virgin up until you have penetrative sex with another human being.
But that would make all lesbians and gay men who do not care for anal sex virgins.
09/13/2011
Contributor: Angewin Angewin
If masturbation means the loss of one's virginity, than I would have lost mine at like...5 or 6. Some little girls touch themselves and grind against pillows all the time when they're little. Sure, I had no idea what I was doing...only that it made me feel good. Somehow, that's still messed up to me.
09/16/2011
Contributor: emiliaa emiliaa
No, I'd say virginity is about sharing sexual acts with another person. Not about the hymen, not about being horny / climaxing, but about sharing acts with a partner. To ME, in my personal opinion, this can include just about anything, not just male-female penetration. I say this because I lost my virginity to a girl 1 year before I was ever with a guy, and I definitely, definitely did not feel inexperienced or virgin-like when I was with him, it came fairly naturally.
09/17/2011
Contributor: Love Perpetua Love Perpetua
Ehhh, I'm not big on the concept of virginity, because I think everyone has their own personal concept of their virginity and what it means to "lose" it. In general, I would say you aren't a virgin anymore once you've made genital-to-genital contact with a partner for the means of sexual pleasure for both parties. But then again, people might do other things that don't involve genital-to-genital contact, but involve penetration, and consider themselves to no longer be virgins.

As far as I'm concerned, everyones' experiences and beliefs are different, so who am I to tell someone whether or not they are a virgin? It's a personal thing. For instance, my first sexual experience was not consensual, so although there was technically penetration, I don't consider that to be when I lost my virginity, I think of it as the first time I had consensual sex.
09/17/2011
Contributor: Rawhide Rawhide
It's a point of view thing, and here is my point of view: yes, you are still a virgin after masturbation. You are a virgin in my book until you have had a sexual partner
09/22/2011
Contributor: zeb zeb
Quote:
Originally posted by Airekah
I am undecided on this topic. =( sorry I couldn't be of more help.
I agree
10/25/2011
Contributor: Vanille Vanille
You're no longer a virgin if another person is involved with your consensual sex acts. Non-con...that's a whole another story for a different day. I guess it really depend on -you- there.

However, if I'm no longer a virgin because of masturbation? DAMN, I beat all my friends to the punch. LMAO.
10/25/2011
Contributor: Theaadrian Theaadrian
yeah i think the term virginity usually has to do with having another person in the mix..
11/14/2011
Contributor: pleasurehunter pleasurehunter
you are most definitely a virgin if you've only masturbated otherwise my high school friends and I weren't all nerdy virgins XD
11/14/2011
Contributor: Breas Breas
I think they would still be a virgin.. but then again,I guess it really depends on the person who is doing the masturbating and how they personally feel about it. Someone may say "no", but that doesn't mean they're right.
11/14/2011
Contributor: SelectZen SelectZen
Quote:
Originally posted by Chevylady37
this is in reference to people saying they are a virgin cuz they have never had sex, but they masterbate, is that the same?
I think that Josh aka FootMan said it best, using a flesh light doesn't make a man not a virgin so for women its the same, I think atleast.
11/14/2011
Contributor: Mihoshi4301 Mihoshi4301
I think you're a virgin until you have sex with another person.
11/15/2011
Contributor: sarahswallows sarahswallows
Quote:
Originally posted by Chevylady37
this is in reference to people saying they are a virgin cuz they have never had sex, but they masterbate, is that the same?
no sex+ no loss of virginity
11/15/2011
Contributor: zecookiepuss zecookiepuss
What you do to yourself is definitely not sex.
01/31/2012
Contributor: Ms. N Ms. N
I think society needs to do away with the whole idea of "virginity." It really is an outdated and unnecessary concept. It's too narrowly defined, or has too many variables, depending on your point of view.

If a man or a woman had regular playtime sessions throughout their entire life, even if they had bought thousands of dollars worth of toys from EF to use, including penetrative toys, had cyber sex online, or phone sex with someone, but never had sex in person with anyone, society would still label that person as a virgin on their deathbed.

Does this really make any sense? And why does it even matter?
01/31/2012
Contributor: Ahatmadeofshoes12 Ahatmadeofshoes12
I don't define masturbation in the same way that I do as partnered sex. Although I do consider all types of sex to count as sex. Penis in vagina is not the only type of sex that is real. All sex is beautiful and meaningful and other types of sex such as oral, anal, manual stimulation, fingering, fisting, using toys on your partner etc. are just as "real" as vaginal sex.
02/05/2012
Contributor: Ahatmadeofshoes12 Ahatmadeofshoes12
I don't define masturbation in the same way that I do as partnered sex. Although I do consider all types of sex to count as sex. Penis in vagina is not the only type of sex that is real. All sex is beautiful and meaningful and other types of sex such as oral, anal, manual stimulation, fingering, fisting, using toys on your partner etc. are just as "real" as vaginal sex.
02/05/2012
Contributor: Ahatmadeofshoes12 Ahatmadeofshoes12
Quote:
Originally posted by Beth D
I'm saying other. It's my personal opinion that a person is a virgin until they've had any kind of non-oral sex with another human being, but a vast majority of people view it as the physical popping (breaking? tearing? I'm not sure ... more
This is a misconception. The hymen "breaking" during sex is kind of a myth. The hymen is a really stretchy thin film of skin so it usually breaks pretty easily and is already gone most of the time when a women has penetrative sex the first time. Athletics, tampons, masturbation, and just being generally active can tear a hymen. I know my hymen was long gone before I started having sex (penetrative or non-penetrative). If you were to define losing your virginity as the breaking of the hymen then a lot of little kids would not be virgins. The only time the actual hymen causes pain for virgins is if it is abnormally thick and that is an extremely rare condition. Most pain during first time penetrative sex is caused by nerves, lack of lubricate, and clenching of the vaginal muscles.
02/05/2012
Contributor: MR Chickhabit MR Chickhabit
Quote:
Originally posted by Chevylady37
this is in reference to people saying they are a virgin cuz they have never had sex, but they masterbate, is that the same?
4% of people in this thread are confused. . .
02/05/2012