Anal-How to get over it and get into it!

Contributor: MamaDivine MamaDivine
Ok, I have this problem. Hubby would flip a lid if I tried to offer anal (he likes it, Ive only ever given that to him once). I can't seem to get past the pain part. Ive used the numbing gels, Ive used the smaller toys to start out, the beads, you name it. I can't help but get this crampy or bloated feeling (then I feel like I have to go to the bathroom)when I try it though. Ive done it a handful of times with my ex husband or other boyfriends, but I just never liked it or got into it because of the pain factor. Mind you, its not like he's huge or anything. SO ...does anyone have any suggestions for me on the whole anal sex situation? Thanks!
01/25/2012
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Contributor: EnterTheFist EnterTheFist
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
Ok, I have this problem. Hubby would flip a lid if I tried to offer anal (he likes it, Ive only ever given that to him once). I can't seem to get past the pain part. Ive used the numbing gels, Ive used the smaller toys to start out, the beads, ... more
From what I've read, you should avoid numbing gels, because pain is the indicator to stop. And if you can't feel pain, you can end up doing some damage. Anal has to be a very gradual thing. Your guy has to start off easy then work his way up. For example, using his tongue on you, then a finger, then a toy, then his penis. Anal isn't easy and it takes time, but there shouldn't be any pain. Best of luck!
01/26/2012
Contributor: MamaDivine MamaDivine
Quote:
Originally posted by EnterTheFist
From what I've read, you should avoid numbing gels, because pain is the indicator to stop. And if you can't feel pain, you can end up doing some damage. Anal has to be a very gradual thing. Your guy has to start off easy then work his way up. ... more
That makes a lot of sense! Thanks for the comment. I appreciate the help. I do remember hearing that (about the gels) before, now that I think about it. Ill definitely have to see about trying to "take it easy" and work up to it. Thanks again!
01/26/2012
Contributor: EnterTheFist EnterTheFist
Quote:
Originally posted by MamaDivine
That makes a lot of sense! Thanks for the comment. I appreciate the help. I do remember hearing that (about the gels) before, now that I think about it. Ill definitely have to see about trying to "take it easy" and work up to it. Thanks again!
Any time! My girlfriend and I are going through the same thing and that's the process we've been going through. It's been working so far. Best of luck with you and your guy!
01/27/2012
Contributor: ToyTimeTim ToyTimeTim
You have to learn to relax, if the pain is always in your mind you will never enjoy it. This is something that will take time to learn, like a couple of months. You have a good start with the toys just keep at it. As far as the feeling of having to go/bloating, part of it is the rectums natural reaction and you will learn/train the rectum to not feel this way. Kind of a mind over matter deal here.

As EnterTheFist stated, stay away from numbing products. They are just not worth the risk. Better to start of slow with small toys and work your way up. When you can use a toy that is a little bigger than your hubby without any pain then you will be ready, not until then.

Pick up this book, it is jammed packed of great info on anal play and will go along way in teaching you everything you need to know.
01/27/2012
Contributor: Big Dog Big Dog
Perhaps private masturbation with a butt plug or dildo might make your mind more comfortable with the entire scenario.
03/07/2012